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to feel like I'm missing out on my children when I go to work?

(127 Posts)
TinksandFloris Tue 10-Nov-09 18:10:04

Well, I mean, I absolutely hate my job. No really, I'm not joking.

If I have to spend one more day working with these egotistical maniacs I think I'm actually going to go round the twist.

My youngest DC goes to school next September at the grand old age of 4 years and 3 months (way too young IMO) and I feel like I've missed out on so much by being at work. I know it's only part-time but really, I just want to be at home and be a Mum for once.

All I've ever done is work. Basically since my 1st DC was 6 months old. Huff. I just want to be a stay at home Mum. That, however, would mean we wouldn't have enough money coming in to meet the bills.

Just feel like having a rant and about 38 biscuit but that would ruin my diet!

WobblyPig Tue 10-Nov-09 20:37:06

May I ask what it is that you do?

TinksandFloris Wed 11-Nov-09 12:04:21

Work for a radio

SecretNinjaChipmunk Wed 11-Nov-09 12:16:37

can you look for another p/t job that isn't so soul destroying? i'm sure the way you feel about your current job must have an effect on how you feel about the time you spend with your kids?

scottishmummy Wed 11-Nov-09 12:17:45

pragmatically if you cant afford to give up work,thats the way it goes

feeling like a wage slave is rotten though.can you change employer, new direction.is it possible get new post

OrmIrian Wed 11-Nov-09 12:18:36

Yep. Good isn't it? grin

OrmIrian Wed 11-Nov-09 12:20:22

Sorry. Stupid joke blush Not that I don't take it seriously. I do. I was where you are about 8 yrs ago. Desperate to stay at home. But no way I could. It gets easier. Can you find a more satisfying job?

jellybeans Wed 11-Nov-09 12:22:46

YANBU

TracyK Wed 11-Nov-09 12:23:10

Why don't you take all that ranting energy and put it into a 'change my life' plan.
Sit down and work out - how much money you need, what job you would like and would it pay enough?

Now is the time in the lead up to the end of the year and start next year afresh.

Move to Scotland - you can defer your child going into school. My ds didn't start till he was 5 and a half - not because I deferrd - because he was born 8 days after the cutoff for Primary 1.

RealityBites Wed 11-Nov-09 12:24:43

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indieangel Wed 11-Nov-09 12:27:37

I'm not sure giving up a pension is a good idea.
I would echo other posters, look for another job.

scottishmummy Wed 11-Nov-09 12:29:12

yes no new clothes,no consumer durables,sell house,no hair cuts,no make up,scratchy underwear, hand knitted tampons, horse hair shirt,dont eat,no pc, no broadband, in fact tap water only

then you can be sahm and thoroughly miserable as you eke out an existence. oh the joy

otherwise.work on cv.what industry contacts do you have
consider new job

Sassybeast Wed 11-Nov-09 12:29:23

Will get shot down in flames for this but if you are really serious, and really want to give up work, then have you explored all of your options ? We made some fairly hefty lifestyle changes in order for me to be a SAHM, none of them easy but all very much for the better. Do you have any options for changing your mortgage etc. We actually down sized ( a decision viewed with contempt on MN and dismissed as 'not an option' when it very clearly is for some people wink )

I don't buy clothes from Boden anymore, we don't have posh holidays, we've cut down on cars - (numbers of and poshness of), erm - I don't buy food in Waitrose anymore - aldi is quite posh really. And n a serious note, we've cut back and made savings in all aspects of our lives.

Only YOU know if it's worth the financial sacrifice. I'm 100 times happier now in my little house (with the heating on for 2 rather than 24 hours) than I was when I was stressed to the eyeballs at work, living in a big house and missing out on my babies growing up.

RealityBites Wed 11-Nov-09 12:30:07

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RealityBites Wed 11-Nov-09 12:31:18

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RealityBites Wed 11-Nov-09 12:31:43

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Sassybeast Wed 11-Nov-09 12:34:13

What Realitybites says to. Change your pension options/plan and reduce that.

scottishmummy Wed 11-Nov-09 12:39:05

the "give up everything/anything" mantra is oft trotted out as a panacea.like a giving things up competition.descriptions of life eked on on 12pence a year.no holidays,no nice food etc sounds like hell to me.

because you are unhappy in current job maybe you have a fantasy of sahm being solution to your employment woes

what about change job
seek different position
seems madness to me to give up work so close to son going to school in 11months...then what?

fast forward no job, son at school, what do you do with that time

jellybeans Wed 11-Nov-09 12:41:25

I think there are some cases where both parents have to work to survive to pay for a small house/simple food/essential bills etc and also other families where they both have to work to keep up the lifestyle to which they are accustomed. (i know many choose to and are happy but OP stated she wasn't). If you are in the first catagory then maybe you should be looking at radical change of job? If the other then something has to give..holidays/2 cars/smaller house etc.

I changed to be a SAHM and am a much less materialistic person (after initial adjustment) and appreciate the simple things more. We settled for small cheap house, caravan holidays, got rid of 2nd car, supermarket clothes etc etc. I am so glad and feel liberated and lucky to be with my DC while they are little. No stress about childcare etc. Priceless.

jellybeans Wed 11-Nov-09 12:43:36

'fast forward no job, son at school, what do you do with that time'

I was just as busy when kids at school. I volunteered at school and besides it is nice to have abit of a break when kids at school! That way you are refreshed for when the day really begins at 3.30!!

scottishmummy Wed 11-Nov-09 12:46:24

so child goes to school 8.45 collect 15.00 that is a lot time doing nowt.

TinksandFloris Wed 11-Nov-09 12:48:02

I would like to stay at home to be with my daughter before she goes to school.

I'm looking into becoming a childminder. I've worked since my children were little and I've literally done all sorts, bar work, cleaning as well as my proper career.

I took this job as my old job (which I loved) ws in serious jeopardy of being made redundant (v small company which had massive debts) So, reluctantly, I left for this new job.

I work 13 hours a week, so it's not massive amounts of hours and I was OK with it, until they started forcing me to go to meetings in the evenings without getting paid, changing my hours to suit them at the drop of a hat, taking phone calls on my days off / in the evenings and at weekends. With a new project on the way, I know it's just going to get worse.

Then there's all the ego's I have to put up with. That's another story entirely. I just feel so very miserable. I've said I'm working from home today as I don't feel well.

TinksandFloris Wed 11-Nov-09 12:48:28

I would like to stay at home to be with my daughter before she goes to school.

I'm looking into becoming a childminder. I've worked since my children were little and I've literally done all sorts, bar work, cleaning as well as my proper career.

I took this job as my old job (which I loved) ws in serious jeopardy of being made redundant (v small company which had massive debts) So, reluctantly, I left for this new job.

I work 13 hours a week, so it's not massive amounts of hours and I was OK with it, until they started forcing me to go to meetings in the evenings without getting paid, changing my hours to suit them at the drop of a hat, taking phone calls on my days off / in the evenings and at weekends. With a new project on the way, I know it's just going to get worse.

Then there's all the ego's I have to put up with. That's another story entirely. I just feel so very miserable. I've said I'm working from home today as I don't feel well.

'fast forward no job, son at school, what do you do with that time'

I plan to sit on the sofa eating biscuits and drinking tea whilst watching TV and surfing mumsnet fulltime.

RealityBites Wed 11-Nov-09 12:50:54

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