for agreeing with something printed in the Daily Mail!!!

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Firstly before I get stoned for reading such a crap paper let me explain it was the only free one in supermarket cafe where i was eating toast with DD. Anyway , I am rubbish with computer so can't do link but the column was about how old do our children have to be before you can leave them "home alone" for short periods. The writer argued that many parents are too scared to admit to leaving their children for fear of being seen as bad parents/neglectful etc etc. BTW we are talking about children aged 11 and upwards not toddlers. She also argues that we should see children as individuals and not make blanket rules for everyone. As someone who has left hr 11 year old at home for up to a couple of hours at a time as I know he is pretty sensible I actually found this article quite a refreshing perspective but also quite sad to think that parents are too scared to admit to knowing what is best for their own children for fear of being pilloried. What do other people think?

[displayuntilbestbefore]

YABU -that's comparable to using a toothbrush after it had fallen in the toilet simply because it was the only toothbrush you had in the house.

[displayuntilbestbefore]

but yanbu about the age related issues and parents knwoing their child better than others

[FreeTheGuidoOne]

Have you washed your hands?

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

I know I feel terrible for reading it . I was really worried that somebody i knew would see me and think I had actually purchased it;)

[Oblomov]

hand washing ? from fishing the toothbrush out, or from the DM ?

[clam]

How are any of us going to be able to comment on this without having to admit that we too have read the DM?

[madamearcati]

Last time I read the Daily Mail there was an article on one page about 'don't care' parents letting their kids roam housing estates, on the apposite page was an article about parents wrapping children in cotton wool and never letting them do anything for themselves.The conclusion I came to was that the DMs stance was 'a mother's place is in the wrong'

[TheCrackFox]

Daily Mail article in question

Actually, I totally agreed with it. Parents and children need to be treated as individuals. 11 year olds will be legally entitled to leave home in 5 years time so they have to start learning valuable life skills.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Thanks for doing link crackfox I a total technophobe

[blueshoes]

Agree with mercati.

[TrillianAstra]

The point (as you describe it) is a good one.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Sorry it had to come from such a dubious source!

[nattiecake]

surely most kids that are in high school are mature enough to be left home alone during the day?
i can understand a dispute about the appropraite age for younger children, but this article confuses me a little...?

[nattiecake]

for example, surely no-one walks their teenage kids to school? and surely theyre safer in their own home than walking to school???

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Someone recently said to me that they were surprised that I left DS1 alone at home and what if something were to happen. I pointed out that he walks ALONE to catch a bus to school every morning and is often home before I return from collecting other children from school, they then trotted out a long litany of potential hazards e.g a fire breaking out or someone strange knocking on the door etc etc and I was made to feel like I was being negligent. I had to step back and realize I do know my son well enough to make this judgement and a t some point he will Have to learn some independence.

[DuelingFanjo]

Does make me wonder if Tamsin Kelly might be a mumsnetter. Very possible she read this thread and other similar ones we have had recently.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Not advocating that kind of behaviour obviously. It's amazing how lacking in common sense some people can be!

[curryfreak]

An 11 year old is not a teenager, and far too young to be left home alone IMO.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

Given that he arrives home from school whilst I am picking up his siblings from school (his school finishes earlier) maybe you could work out a way for me to be in 2 places at once curry. The point of the OP was that parents should be the best judge of their children's level of independence no other people.

[mumblechum]

11 yr old too young to be left for a while after school?? Don't be daft.

[curryfreak]

Depends on what a little while means. Is it 20 mins or two hours? There's a big difference. Leaving a child alone for a short while at home because you have to to pick up other children from school and have no other choice is different from say going to Tesco or visiting a friend for a couple of hours, because you dont fancy a whingy 11 year old tagging along!

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

My 11 year old is anything but whingy and I have left him for a couple of hours as quite frankly when he's on his playstation armageddon could take place and he would't move. The point I'm trying to make is that it seems these days that parents are too scared to trust their own judgement regarding their children's abilities for fear of recrimination from other parents or the dreaded "health and safety" brigade.

[mumblechum]

We'd often leave ds when he was 11 for an evening (ie till 10 ish) if it was just in the village.

Would also leave him for an afternoon at that age, as of course they do make a big leap in independence once they start secondary school and are treated by the school as responsible young people, not just little children

[curryfreak]

Fair enough hobnobs. Of course you have to trust your own judgement. However i'm sometimes suspicious of parents who say that their children are happy to be left alone.
I think it has more to do with the need of the parents sometimes!
I supposse the bottom line is if you feel justified in leaving them at home, then you must also be prepared to accept the consequences, should something happen while you are not there.

[emkana]

I understood the article to say that the author would also leave younger children at home with effectively an 11 or 12 year old in charge, and that I think is wrong