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to get annoyed when MIL let's herself into my house?

(65 Posts)
wolfear Mon 09-Nov-09 22:21:53

She does a little knock and then comes in calling 'hellooooooooo'. Okay, so the door is unlocked, but still, I could be running around in the nude (not that I ever do... but I could be). I guess I should just lock the door, but shouldn't she wait til I let her in??

Katisha Mon 09-Nov-09 22:24:06

Ooh this is an easy one.
If you lock the door she'll get into the right habit.

SoWhat Mon 09-Nov-09 22:24:59

My MIL does this too, drives me mad!

CarGirl Mon 09-Nov-09 22:30:33

You lot are unfriendly!!!

My back door is always unlocked, I have spent 7.5 years trying to get people to knock and walk in and make themselves at home!

Nightmare being a northerner living in Surrey.

pranma Mon 09-Nov-09 22:34:17

I agree with CarGirl and I would expect all dc to just walk into mine,rummage in junk drawers,help themselves from fridge etc.Mind you I would ask re fridge in their homes and wouldnt open drawers.None of them have 'open doors'cos of yale locks but all have given me keys.

displayuntilbestbefore Mon 09-Nov-09 22:34:43

lol CarGirl grin
I used to practically beg my mother to pop round on an ad hoc basis when we lived nearby!
No chance of my MIL calling round unexpectedly - it takes about 2 years to persuade her to make the 2 hours train ride to come and visit us at all!

CarGirl Mon 09-Nov-09 22:38:07

If my doorbell rings it completely freaks me out I teach everyone to come around the back which they generally do, getting them to knock loudly and then come in is taking a bit more work.

Next step is to get them to fill up and put the kettle on as they walk through the kitchen........

No wonder I don't fit in around here hmm

ABetaDad Mon 09-Nov-09 22:38:40

I can't beleive anyone leaves their door unlocked. We never do even when in. People have to ring for an appointment at our house just to get past the gates.

Lock it and stop MIL and anyone else who might be loitering.

CarGirl Mon 09-Nov-09 22:41:29

Our rear garden is overlooked, house is tiny, I can distinguish our gate latch "ping" from the neighbours.

Actually none of us in our little block of terraces lock our back door, lovely Irish neighbours both sides.

When heavily pregnant in the heatwave of 2003 I actually slept downstairs with the patio doors and back door open..........

wolfear Mon 09-Nov-09 22:46:31

To be fair, there's not much my MIL does that doesn't annoy me, bless her. It just happened to be the knock-and-enter today.

CarGirl Mon 09-Nov-09 22:50:00

well you'll have to go all snobby & posh and start locking your door then (grin)

jasper Mon 09-Nov-09 22:55:27

YABU , but I am Scottish and ultra hospitable grin

Door never locked unless I am away all day

BettyTurnip Mon 09-Nov-09 23:05:27

My MIL used to let herself into our house when we weren't even in, dropping stuff off that obviously couldn't wait a few hours. I was starting to feel like we had no privacy, so when we moved house and I conveniently forgot to give her a key for this house - she took our spare and had one cut anyway which turned out to be a dud.

NanaNina Mon 09-Nov-09 23:09:04

Wolfear - you have confirmed my suspicions when I read your OP. Would you bothered if it was your mum/sister/best friend who knocked and walked thought not. Why do you say "bless her" after admitting that there is not much that yur mil does that doesn't annoy you - how patronising. I reckon that mils can't do anything right for some of you dils - don't forget that in all probability you will be a mil yourself one day - hope you NEVER do anything to annoy your dil!

sprouting Mon 09-Nov-09 23:12:58

I never lock my door if I'm home. I get irritated when people expect me to open it for them rather than just opening themselves. People I know I mean, I wouldn't expect door to door salesmen to let themselves in but I don't expect to have to open the door for MIL.

mawbroon Mon 09-Nov-09 23:14:09

My family (including inlaws), and neighbours will just knock and come in if my door is open.

So, if I don't want anybody just walking in, then I lock the door.

In the summer, the front door is wide open as long as it's not peeing with rain!

cakeywakey Mon 09-Nov-09 23:18:15

I think that YABU. If you leave the door unlocked, it's a bit mean to expect your MIL to wait outside until you come to open the door for her.

Also, if she's always annoying you, would you then be likely to say 'She's always arrives when I'm in the middle of something and I have to stop everything to go and let her in' wink

I love the fact that NanaNina sticks up for MILs on here - evens thigs out a bit. More power to your typing fingers NanaNina grin

Imagine if there were a MILnet or a NansNet and they were all constantly complaining about about DILs - I bet we wouldn't like it.
Come to think of it, is there a NansNet?

BettyTurnip Mon 09-Nov-09 23:24:31

I'd just like to clarify that I don't have a problem with my MIL, she's a very kind, helpful woman...however, I think it's a bit off to let yourself into someone's home when they're not in, it's just respecting privacy and boundaries to me.

In reponse to the OP however, yes, I do think you're being a little U. The door is unlocked and she's announcing her arrival. My MIL does this and it's fine by me.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 09-Nov-09 23:31:56

I never leave my door unlocked - where on earth do you all live??

I can't bear the thought of people just walking in, I like my privacy too much. <shudders>

Even my Mum doesn't have a key to this house.

SlartyBartFast Mon 09-Nov-09 23:38:20

i wouldlnt like it either.

Quattrofangs Mon 09-Nov-09 23:39:42

I have no opinion on your mother in law

Am totally shocked by the apostrophe abuse in the thread title however

<posts and runs to the safety of pedants' corner>

DuelingFanjo Mon 09-Nov-09 23:43:17

It would irritate me if my MIL or my own mother just let herself into my house. My mum would feel the same way I recon.

SlartyBartFast Mon 09-Nov-09 23:43:40


biscuit to apostrophe comment

BettyTurnip Mon 09-Nov-09 23:45:46

Noticed the rogue apostrophe but far too polite to mention it wink

Quattrofangs Mon 09-Nov-09 23:50:30

Slarty you are in love with the biscuit emoticon

Was it rude to mention the rogue apostrophe? I dunno, it makes my teeth itch and my eyes hurt. And now I've bumped this thread and it will assault me again ...

Tchah. What is MN coming to?

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