I am very lucky all my children, so far, have perfect health and normal behaviour patterns. I couldn't care less if the family down the road got £20k per week to help with their daughter who has sn because I'm sure they'd rather have less money and a daughter who didn't suffer.
i think that a lot of people who arent in the SN world are shocked to learn how much specially adapted equipment costs. Do parents of able-bodied children realise that a kids powerchair can cost £20,000 (sometimes more!), and the NHS rarely funds them? How come a bike for ds1 costs £30, and a bike for ds2 £1000? Private SALT, private physio, it all costs a fortune. but i think some people are genuinely mistaken. Everyone thinks you just get given these things but you don't
oh they're very much out there... I was once told on a forum that a certain poster was "disgusted" that I was "paid for looking after my own children" and that it is "merely what any other mother does".
I do so hope this poster never has to learn what it is to have three children with sn.
posie I had one friend like that. She came to stay with me once and just kept telling me how lucky I was. I told her that I would swop evrything we have earnt to make life a bit easier for DS2 and that she should be grateful for her good fortune. She then said she would 'swop' I asked her which of her two children she would like to have have a life altering accident stopping their development.
The things is it also gets mixed in with the way they see children with disabilities as kind of non people. She honestly hadn'tthought how she would feel if her DD could no longer communicate, could no longer dance or play with her friends.How sad that would be.
Am in the US where there's no universal healthcare. Mental health patients are dumped in emergency rooms, handcuffed to beds and watched by police officers because they have no way to pay for treatment. And people grudge the tiddly amount of extra taxes they're going to have to pay so that everyone can get treatment when they need it.
We also have some relatives in the UK who are SN adults and have had a ton of extra stuff from the gov--neither has ever worked and both live in assisted housing, one is in and out of hospital. I don't care how much tax we have to pay (moving back to UK soon) as long as I know neither will ever end up shackled to a bed in a filthy ER only to be chucked back onto the street once the meds kick in.
I think a lot of people just don't understand what it takes to look after someone with SN and they don't want to think that they are paying for someone else's kid to have a bike. It's a very sad, selfish and narrow way to think.
YANBU - My DS2 has ASD and my husband has just been made redundant. BIL has mentioned that we are lucky that we get DLA for DS otherwise we wouldnt be able to pay the bills etc. I was crying with upset - I would much rather DS be happy and be able to live a 'normal' life rather than the struggle he has everyday.