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to think that some people have NT dcs and still begrudge parents of children with SN a few extra pounds.

(88 Posts)
posieparker Mon 09-Nov-09 17:40:24

I am very lucky all my children, so far, have perfect health and normal behaviour patterns. I couldn't care less if the family down the road got £20k per week to help with their daughter who has sn because I'm sure they'd rather have less money and a daughter who didn't suffer.

What's wrong with people?

2shoes Mon 09-Nov-09 17:43:49

20k I wish lol
some people are just jealous idiots

RubysReturn Mon 09-Nov-09 17:49:54

I think people have so little imaginatation that they cannot conceive of how difficult life can be for others, how everyday things can be huge hurdles and how child are not always independent at 18.

Just one more burden for you I guess sad

madusa Mon 09-Nov-09 17:49:54

i too would much rather keep my 3 healthy children than have to fight for extra money due to having children with special needs.

It isn't an easy life.

carrieonly Mon 09-Nov-09 18:21:59

i think that a lot of people who arent in the SN world are shocked to learn how much specially adapted equipment costs. Do parents of able-bodied children realise that a kids powerchair can cost £20,000 (sometimes more!), and the NHS rarely funds them? How come a bike for ds1 costs £30, and a bike for ds2 £1000? Private SALT, private physio, it all costs a fortune. but i think some people are genuinely mistaken. Everyone thinks you just get given these things but you don't

cornsilkwearscorsets Mon 09-Nov-09 18:31:01

People who think like this are ignorant twats.

Glitterknickaz Mon 09-Nov-09 18:52:10

oh they're very much out there...
I was once told on a forum that a certain poster was "disgusted" that I was "paid for looking after my own children" and that it is "merely what any other mother does".

I do so hope this poster never has to learn what it is to have three children with sn.

sarah293 Mon 09-Nov-09 18:56:24

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sarah293 Mon 09-Nov-09 18:56:55

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pagwatch Mon 09-Nov-09 18:57:11

I had one friend like that. She came to stay with me once and just kept telling me how lucky I was.
I told her that I would swop evrything we have earnt to make life a bit easier for DS2 and that she should be grateful for her good fortune.
She then said she would 'swop' hmm
I asked her which of her two children she would like to have have a life altering accident stopping their development.

The things is it also gets mixed in with the way they see children with disabilities as kind of non people. She honestly hadn'tthought how she would feel if her DD could no longer communicate, could no longer dance or play with her friends.How sad that would be.

It is very odd.

posieparker Mon 09-Nov-09 18:58:30

Only £4000, that's less than half my overdraft!!

I am amazed by mn sometimes.

PacificDogwood Mon 09-Nov-09 19:00:15

The other thread made me feel selfconcious about being mother to 3 healthy children. I am lacking the emoticon to describe what I felt.
Sadly the attitude described is not unique sad...

Who was it that said something like "any society should be judged by how it treats its most vulnerable and weak"? Or words to that effect.

Anyway, I am delighted if some of the tax I pay goes towards support for families who need it - for whatever reason.

Still angry at the other thread.

2shoes Mon 09-Nov-09 19:01:17

i am the mother of 2 healthy children(ok teens) dd might be severley disabled but she is healthy

letsblowthistacostand Mon 09-Nov-09 19:03:36

Am in the US where there's no universal healthcare. Mental health patients are dumped in emergency rooms, handcuffed to beds and watched by police officers because they have no way to pay for treatment. And people grudge the tiddly amount of extra taxes they're going to have to pay so that everyone can get treatment when they need it.

We also have some relatives in the UK who are SN adults and have had a ton of extra stuff from the gov--neither has ever worked and both live in assisted housing, one is in and out of hospital. I don't care how much tax we have to pay (moving back to UK soon) as long as I know neither will ever end up shackled to a bed in a filthy ER only to be chucked back onto the street once the meds kick in.

I think a lot of people just don't understand what it takes to look after someone with SN and they don't want to think that they are paying for someone else's kid to have a bike. It's a very sad, selfish and narrow way to think.

sarah293 Mon 09-Nov-09 19:03:56

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PacificDogwood Mon 09-Nov-09 19:05:18

Able bodied?

Sorry, did not mean to offend, but sometimes it is hard to know what the accepted terms are.

shockers Mon 09-Nov-09 19:05:50

Thank you for reinforcing my faith in human

2shoes Mon 09-Nov-09 19:05:53

i looked at a trike for dd £2000 was the cheapest
I could buy ds 20 for that from halfords!!!

GrimmaTheNome Mon 09-Nov-09 19:06:32

I haven't seen the other thread referred to. I'm appalled that anyone would begrudge help for SN kids and their families. angrysad

2shoes Mon 09-Nov-09 19:07:05

PacificDogwood none taken, I just like to point out sometimes that sn doesn't always mean unhealthy,

Maleeka Mon 09-Nov-09 19:08:01

What does NT stand for? sorry really dont know

2shoes Mon 09-Nov-09 19:08:47

neurologically typical

sarah293 Mon 09-Nov-09 19:09:03

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Marioandluigi Mon 09-Nov-09 19:09:21

YANBU - My DS2 has ASD and my husband has just been made redundant. BIL has mentioned that we are lucky that we get DLA for DS otherwise we wouldnt be able to pay the bills etc. I was crying with upset - I would much rather DS be happy and be able to live a 'normal' life rather than the struggle he has everyday.

2shoes Mon 09-Nov-09 19:09:25

i had to copy and paste that from the Acronyms list lol

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