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To tell my sister to keep her opinions to herself

(13 Posts)
fernie3 Sun 08-Nov-09 19:58:20

My sister and I have chosen very different lifestyles (!) I married and had kids young, I am 26 now with three kids and trying for another. I am a SAHM. My sister is focusing on her career and has no kids plans to marry at 30 etc.

My husband and I have always felt that me being home looking after the kids (and we always planned a large family) was the right choice for us. I have worked part time at certain points in the past when my husbands income has needed a bit of a lift but other than that have had no real career.

My sister is always telling me how much I am wasting my life, how I am like an old woman and how I need to find a career. I have always kept my mouth shut about her (sometimes bizzare) choices and so really now after a conversation where she accused me of having no contribution to my own life would it be really unreasonable to tell her to shut up, get lost or generally never talk about her opinions again? would it?

why is it suddenly not ok to have a view on your own life and then live it without interference from others?!

BouncingTurtle Sun 08-Nov-09 20:17:43

That's family for you, I'm afraid.

If you are happy with your lot in life, then ignore her.

If she brings up the subject - change it. Don't enter into a dialogue with her about it. It takes two people to make a conversation.

Remember no-one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

shivster1980 Sun 08-Nov-09 20:23:45

YANBU I think your sister is jealous of some aspects of your life, and is (as is all too common these days) taking a pop at your SAHM choice. Another case of SAH parents feeling a lack of status and a complete lack of respect/acknowledgement for what they do and the lives they have chosen.
I don't know why people can't just relax in the knowledge that their life choices are just that theirs! No need to inflict them on others.

ln1981 Sun 08-Nov-09 20:25:28

YANBU. how you choose to live your life is upto you, no one else. a person can only take so much flack before they let rip back! me being me, id have probably ripped her head of by now to be honest! (my temper gets the better of me quite easily!)
maybe you should tell her that her comments upset you and that its your life and your choice and that you are very happy, thank you very much? if you havent said anything yet perhaps she doesnt know that its getting to you?

agedknees Sun 08-Nov-09 20:30:59

YANBU. You are currently doing one - if not the most important jobs in the world.

You are bring new life into the world. You are nurturing that new life.

Ignore your dsis. Tell her to mind her own business.

busybutterfly Sun 08-Nov-09 20:35:17


I have a friend who hasn't got kids, she always tells me about the women who work in her place and expect not to have to travel and all sorts of other bits because they have children - and I have 3 DC's!

If I worked in her place I'd be one of those women too grin

Just ignore it or tell her to shut up and start procreating ]grin] grin

fernie3 Sun 08-Nov-09 20:39:05

I have often thought of witty things to say but I never say them. She is my ickle baby sister (who is only 2 years younger than me) maybe i need to start arguing back for once then!

anniemac Sun 08-Nov-09 20:48:54

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anniemac Sun 08-Nov-09 20:50:23

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TinyPawz Sun 08-Nov-09 20:52:35

Tell her to wind her neck in.....cheeky mareangry. Your life, your choice. Just like her life, her choice.

You chose to get married & have a family. She chooses to work. Who can say one life is more worthwhile/the correct way/more important than the other.

Wish you and your family all the happiness in the world.

thelunar66 Sun 08-Nov-09 21:01:47

fernie - you are me 20 years ago. My sister was downright nasty about me marrying and have DC.

One time she was showing me her holiday pics (seychelles/usa/bali/china type. I said 'ooh you lucky thing'. Her response was to snap at me - 'well you chose to have kids!'.

But, guess what... my kids grew up and now I'm having fun holidays too.

I have holidays AND children. She just has holidays.

groundhogs Sun 08-Nov-09 22:19:11

What busybutterfly said "Just ignore it or tell her to shut up and start procreating"


"Procreate Off!", more like!

Just tell her she's being rude and to change the subject. It's not worth fighting over, but she needs to shut up, that's for sure

Firawla Mon 09-Nov-09 10:11:31

yanbu she needs to realise that not everyone wants exactly the same in life, its not that difficult of a concept to grasp. personally i feel being unmarried and no kids @ 30 is more of a waste and marrying young with kids is more of a purpose, but i leave each to their own. i wouldn't get too bothered about her views, better if you can just tell her well you think what you like as im quite happy with my life thanks

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