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to be irritated when fussy eaters claim they have food allegies?

(37 Posts)
deaconblue Sun 08-Nov-09 19:57:53

MIL claims she can't eat onions, garlic, chilli, leeks, pepper, wheat, cranberries, citrus etc etc. BUT should I make a lemon cheesecake and suddenly she is able to wolf down a huge slice. Seems to me she is not alone in this annoying trait...

deaconblue Sun 08-Nov-09 19:58:19

oops allergies not allegies

jellyjelly Sun 08-Nov-09 19:59:39

Allergies annoy me no end. I am actually allergic to things but not sure what so i have to tell people not to make this or that as i dont know what i am going to react too.

fernie3 Sun 08-Nov-09 20:00:03

my gran is convinced she is allergic to milk and yet each day she has many cups of milky tea lol. It is unreasonable because it makes people take those with REAL allergies less seriously which could be dangerous.

Hassled Sun 08-Nov-09 20:02:57

"Can't eat" does often mean "won't eat", I've found. I, for example, can't eat liver. It must be bloody annoying for people who do actually have allergies.

deaconblue Sun 08-Nov-09 20:04:41

exactly. My uncle actually is a coeliac (sp?) and is so careful to avoid all wheat. BIL says MIL is miraculously able to eat sweet wheat!

displayuntilbestbefore Sun 08-Nov-09 20:14:40

YANBU
Perhaps it's just that people find it easier to say they're allergic to something they don't actually enjoy the taste of rather than coming clean and saying they dislike something. It's a taboo in adulthood, it seems, to not like certain foods - although in your MIL's case it's a pretty long list!
I suspect, looking at the things she avoids, that she actually just has a problem with flatulence and doesn't want to exacerbate the problem!

theyoungvisiter Sun 08-Nov-09 20:19:56

YANBU - it's infuriatingly common, and the problem is that it trivialises real allergies.

No wonder so many grandparents think it's ok to slip a dairy-allergic grandchild a piece of chocolate, when they have friends like your MIL!

Moominfamily Sun 08-Nov-09 20:38:24

YANBU. My dh is (genuinely) allergic to tomatoes, which is a pretty unusual one, and as so many people say they are allergic now it is always assumed that he just doesn't like them. Even my mother served up something containing tomato powder when we first had him round for dinner, but I noticed just in time (she was quite surprised that he was also allergic to powdered tomato. . .no wonder they have never gotten on).
You could always cook delicious foods like your cheesecake, and then whisk your MIL's plate away stating, 'no it's got X in it, and you're allergic- we can't risk it!' I bet she would recover soon!

maryz Sun 08-Nov-09 20:40:15

YANBU - when I fill in forms for dd for brownies and now guides I fill in the food bit with "dd doesn't like curry" (as it is the only thing she doesn't like). I have a friend who fills in that her dd is allergic to a list of things. She is quite open about the fact that she doesn't want her dd to be "forced to eat things she doesn't like" so puts things like milk, cheese, beef, on the list of allergies.

It is really unfair on the leaders who have to work out who is genuinely allergic and who just doesn't like the taste of food.

I KNOW dd's friend doesn't have allergies - she happily eats MacDonalds, including the meat and cheese in the burgers and the icecream afterwards!

wb Sun 08-Nov-09 20:45:20

YANBU - speaking as an allergic person myself and the mother of an allergic child it is very annoying.

I think one reason it happens is that there are a lot of bullshit unproven types of allergy testing out there so people get tested then get told they are allergic to a huge list of things. The list will generally contain most of the big eight (8 foods that are most common cause of food allergies) and so achieve a fairly high hit ratio (plus another load of life-complicating misses) - so people believe it and so it goes again...

And breathe blush

deaconblue Sun 08-Nov-09 20:47:52

Last time they came I made a fabulous chocolatey pud with flour and didn't even give her the option of eating it, just brought out a bowl of sorbet for her instead (shoppingbags cackles to herself remembering MIL's expression)

Heated Sun 08-Nov-09 20:52:07

This is true. Was organising a school trip and one child's mother put down on the dietary from they were allergic to mince. Just mince. Not any other form of beef.

I'm mildly intolerant to strong cheeses and tomatoes but it's not an allergy.

theyoungvisiter Sun 08-Nov-09 21:06:17

lol at mince! That's like saying "I'm allergic to mashed potato, but I'm ok with chips"

misdee Sun 08-Nov-09 21:12:15

yanbu

my dd's have allergies. when i tell people dd2 is allergic to apples (oral allergy syndrome), they look at me with that' look, and say 'really?! apples?' she also reacts to pears but not as strongly.

not so bad when i tell them that dd4 is allergic to milk, eggs and nuts. though it does mean i refuse a lot of food for dd4.

Scorpette Sun 08-Nov-09 21:22:26

Some people have intolerances to certain foods and not allergies, which means that they can tolerate the 'bad' food once in a blue moon with only minor repercussions, which might well make it worth the 'cheat. I have both allergies and intolerances (properly medically-diagnosed and my reactions are swift, obvious and nasty and I totally avoid them all) but generally just say 'allergies' about everything, because 'intolerances' just makes you sound like you're being extra-fussy and besides, people are so nasty to you about allergies (like you're a hypochondriac or are deliberately choosing not to eat something just to spite them) that it's not worth giving them more 'ammo' in the form of the word 'intolerances'.

Your MIL could be just saying 'allergies' when she means 'intolerances' and choosing to risk the more minor reactions of an intolerance when she really fancies a treat, but it does sound like she's just making it all up for attention-seeking and control-freak purposes wink Also, just because someone has a genuine allergy doesn't mean that they're going to be sensible or have great willpower - one of my best friend is severely allergic to dairy products yet regularly 'can't resist' milk chocolate and cheese on toast and so on and then spends the rest of her time farting, burping and moaning about her stomach pain, bloating, diarrhoea, phlegm overload and spots! Exasperating (not to mention gross).

deaconblue Sun 08-Nov-09 21:28:07

The pasta thing is exasperating as she buys pasta ready meals for us all to eat when we visit her (eurgh) but when I want to make a lasagne or something nice, she says she can't eat it. I suspect the onion, pepper etc is fart related so I am super careful with those when catering for her as she and FIL insist on pooing in my downstairs loo instead of the guest bathroom upstairs.

TrillianAstra Sun 08-Nov-09 21:33:42

YANBU, it's very annoying, and confuses tings for those who have real medical issues with foods.

morethanyoubargainfor Sun 08-Nov-09 21:40:26

it is a difficult one, i am not allergic to wheat but it does make my rather embarrassing illness flare up in an uncontrollable way, if i don't eat wheat i dont have the problems. So i do tell people i am allergic as it is the easier option for me, otherwise people ask a whole heap of questions, ususally

'how does it make you ill?'

'what happens to you?'

'oh i get that?' blah blah blah

The fact is my condition is very understated in he uk and there isn't any real info on it unless i go to american sites and it took nearly 5 years to be diagnosed. So the fact is you probably haven't got the same condition and you probably have never heard of it! I have i live with it everyday and know avoiding wheat is one of the best things for me to do.

Rant over

It wasn't aimed at you OP but just the hypothectical conversations ihave almost daily, and i think you might have hit a nerve! I think YANBU. grin

borderslass Sun 08-Nov-09 21:43:22

my daughters both have allergies eldest started when she was 10? eggs and nuts her face swells up like a balloon and she feels sick if she eats anything with egg and nuts in pasta is the worst because some she can eat and others she can't.
youngest developed last year but not food hers is seasonal about may-September and we don't know what she's allergic to despite her having tests she was bitten in may last year whilst walking in our local hills and has needed steroids on several occasions to take the swellings down.
Its quite annoying when people say their allergic instead of not liking something gives my girls and other sufferers a hard time.

MilkNoSugarPlease Sun 08-Nov-09 22:00:07

YADNBU!!

I have an allergy (although i think im starting to hopefully grow out of it so now more of an intollarance) to raw almonds and cashews...no other nuts...my windpipe etc doesnt swell up like many other people with but allergies, but i get unbelievable hives, mouth and tongue swell and are unbelievably itchy etc ... luckily it is not as severe anymore so i do really feel for those with severe nut allergies...but people dont believe me whcih can be a pita cause im just seen as a v fuasy eater

Like misdee's DD i have an allergy to apples, mouth and tonugue swell, area around mouth is red itchy and swollen and mouth and back of throat are itchy to the point i make them bleed by rubbing them with my tongue....the looks from people when i say apples is hmm!

thesecondcocking Sun 08-Nov-09 22:02:29

a friend of mine was a vegan and had a wheat allergy-as soon as she became pregnant she began to eat meat and wheat,basically,she had a proper eating disorder and found it easier to say 'i am allergic to everything on the menu so will have a salad'than 'hi,i am going to have to make myself throw up if i eat this so i'll pass' very sad.

Ronaldinhio Sun 08-Nov-09 22:06:50

don't you think that most often it is just a cover for
"I'm careful about what I put in my mouth because I don't want to end up putting on any weight"
or even worse
"because I'm on a diet"

no one i know diets anymore, they all develop wheat and or sugar intolerance followed by extensive Atkins. One of my firneds in now allergic to potatoes....holy god

why not say i don't like that or not for me I'm trying to get into/stay in these jeans
It does seem that we'd rather hint at a medical emergency than admit personal choice/vanity

LeQueen Sun 08-Nov-09 22:11:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thesecondcocking Sun 08-Nov-09 22:20:35

i have a friend with a son with a pretend milk allergy. It's utterly bizarre and ridiculous (and when she can't be arsed to actually deal with his crying and wailing about wanting things with cheese/milk/chocolate in she gives them to him with no ill effects.)
it's insane but there was 6 months last year that he ate milk/cheese etc etc and then just before he was 2 (which was the age she'd said she'd bf til) his 'allergy'was back and non negotiable. it's really sad actually.

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