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HELP!! HELP!!!! HELP!!!!

(24 Posts)
mummyof1butnotforlong Sun 08-Nov-09 19:48:43

AIBU leaving my 24month old to SCREEM!!!!!!!!! in his cot??

He has always been fab at sleeping but over the last few weeks has been pushing the limits. "More" (in the night garden), "sleep in mummys bed" etc etc etc. Tonight he just keeps shouting "stairs" ie go down. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is at the moment going mad in his cot and I feel rubbish!

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Sun 08-Nov-09 19:49:56

Just go in and reassure him, but don't give in. (Just IMO)

blinder Sun 08-Nov-09 19:52:44

can you tell whether its a tantrum or genuine distress? (i know thats a difficult question btw)

Slambang Sun 08-Nov-09 19:53:32

Give yourself a regular time that you will go in and check he's ok (e.g. every 5 minutes). Tell him bedtime now and go out. Then go back 5 mins later etc. Makes it easier for you to bear if not him.

Morloth Sun 08-Nov-09 19:55:01

Agree with blinder is it that sort of "Dammit woman do what I want right this second!" sort of scream, or "Mummy, where are you? I am freaking out and don't know how to calm down!" type?

It is a right bugger to tell the difference sometimes.

The first sort usually involved kicking and throwing things with DS.

mummyof1butnotforlong Sun 08-Nov-09 19:56:39

Its most certainly a tantrum - he is soooooooooooo cross!! He has been unwell over the last week so we have given him loads of flexibility and his ill cry is very differenr to the monster cross roar of now! He keeps throwing his dummy out, his blanket etc etc.........I am so not moving him to a bed before our second baby is born!

ImSoNotTelling Sun 08-Nov-09 19:58:02

Yes calm go in "time to go to sleep now" brightly and tuck in/kiss if possible (probably not) then leave and do again a few mins later.

Do not give in smile

Morloth Sun 08-Nov-09 19:59:35

Stay calm (I know!), don't give back the dummy/blanket. Go in and say something soothing, but don't under any circumstances let him out.

That way he knows you mean business but that this is not a good long term strategy.

blinder Sun 08-Nov-09 20:02:43

dont feel guilty then - rage is unpleasant for anyone but you dont want to train him into thinking that it works.

agree with others. go in to show calm, bright presence. hope he calms down soon!

mummyof1butnotforlong Sun 08-Nov-09 20:03:14

DH has just gone in and given him a cuddle in the chair......but won't leave the room with him, he keeps pointing to the door.....really shouldn't have got him out the cot but I was looking likely to get out himself!

mummyof1butnotforlong Sun 08-Nov-09 20:04:42

sorry he looked like he was going to leap out!

Vallhala Sun 08-Nov-09 20:09:29

My word, there are some very patient women out there.

I'm of the "let him scream it out and ignore" school of thought. All I can say of this is that it worked for me when all else failed, albeit that mine was a rather different situation. My DD was a very, very bad sleeper for months on end and I had run out of alternatives (and, as you may have gathered, patience).

Rest assured you really are NOT BU and are NOT the mother from hell.

Morloth Sun 08-Nov-09 20:10:54

If he can leap out of the cot, then it may be that he is a bit too big for it.

Let him scream, as long as he knows you are around and he is safe then he is just playing silly buggers.

mummyof1butnotforlong Sun 08-Nov-09 20:11:11

ummmmmmm we have FAILED!! He has fallen asleep in my DH arms in the chair in his bedroom sadsad.

Thanks for yout support ladies.......come back tommorrow! I'll need you!

Grendle Sun 08-Nov-09 20:12:51

I'd have done the same smile. Sometimes it's the best solution.

Morloth Sun 08-Nov-09 20:13:32

You haven't failed, just extended it for another couple of days. In the long run it really isn't going to matter wink.

PerArduaAdNauseum Sun 08-Nov-09 20:13:37

When DS got to this point of wound-up-ness, I often sat where he could see me and calmly read a book. Well, pretended to anyway. He could see me and know he was safe, but that I had other things to think about. Seemed to stop the tantrum quickly, and I got a bit less guilty than if I'd shut the door and gone somewhere else... Worth a try?

PerArduaAdNauseum Sun 08-Nov-09 20:14:26


Well, they're extra ratty after illnesses, so deep breath and good luck for tomorrow smile

lou031205 Sun 08-Nov-09 20:16:22

mummyof1butnotforlong, just ride it out smile DD2 went through this sort of phase, and DH spent lots of a few hours sitting beside the cot cuddling her. Within a few weeks she was back to happily sleeping through. They are little & can't tell us what's going on.

mummyof1butnotforlong Sun 08-Nov-09 20:20:46

Thanks everyone! I just don't know how this happened. He has always been such as good sleeper, but even his day sleep now is stressful, just won't settle alone. I will keep trying!

ImSoNotTelling Sun 08-Nov-09 20:24:14

That's not failure! He's asleep and all is well.

It's a normal thing at this age testing boudaries seeing what he can get away with. Not called the terrible twos for nothing smile

MiniMarmite Sun 08-Nov-09 20:31:58

Agree, not failure at all!

I think the Baby Whisperer even has a technique that's a bit like this where you gradually get nearer to the normal situation - so tomorrow it might be a cuddle in the chair and back in the cot before he goes to sleep, the next day holding his hand in the cot until he is nearly asleep etc.

Hope you have a better night tomorrow.

Crocky Sun 08-Nov-09 20:59:32

Does he still need his day sleep?
My dd gave up hers when she was 18 months. If she did happen to have a sleep after that age in the day then she was a nightmare to get to sleep at night.

groundhogs Sun 08-Nov-09 21:12:31

Keep going OP, it'll be OK in the end...

If that screaming happens again, go see to him, to make sure he's OK, get DH to sit and listen, to make sure he stays OK....

Meanwhile you physcially leave the house, go sit in the garden with your ipod on or something, take a breath and let yourself calm and re-group. 5-10 mins or so.

Then go back into ear shot. Then you can decide if you want to go back in the room again. Stay calm and focussed, you'll get there! smile

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