In thinking that teachers should explain WHY children are being moved to another class and not just tell them to go?(5 Posts)
My bullied, challenging DD2 (12) went to a lesson today to be told to go to another class in the same subject and run by another teacher. Her teacher just gave her a book relating to the lesson and that was it - when DD asked why teacher just gave the "Because I said so" type of response.
She went to the other class where she was told to sit in a corner and, she says, was required to do work already covered in the original class and which she says was different to the other children there. She thinks that this class is doing a lower standard than her original one - if so I'm surprised as she showed no signs of struggling in the original class and enjoyed the subject very much. Again she asked why and got no sensible answer. Its all a bit confusing but at some point the teacher shouted at her (I am not complaining but from what I understand this wasn't necessary at the time).
The upshot was that she called me, I couldn't calm her and she walked out and came home... I'm not amused by this either.
She's been horribly bullied for ages and I've recently put in a complaint to the Head about the schools reaction to it (the response being negative so I am now about to refer to the Governors). Apparently the original class contains one of the main bullies and other hangers on and the teacher struggles to control the class - last week they were shouting out really nasty names at her in this class and were left unchecked.
OK if she's being moved because of this... but is it, or should the bully be moved? Besides, whatever the reason, surely she deserved to be told? Shes vulnerable, scared, angry, challenging staff because she feels the bullies are getting away with it and has refused to go to school already. This isn't bloody well helping! Is it me or AIBU to think that it was acceptable for her to ask why she was being moved like this and unreasonable that she wasn't given an answer?
I think school needs to call a meeting involving you and your daughter, pronto, and tell you whats going on. I think the meeting needs to be with a fairly senior member of staff and you should take notes or ask for it to be minuted. If you are not satisfied then put in a written complaint to the head.
Problem is, AP, I don't trust them any further than I can throw them.
For example, the Heads response to my complaint stated that in her defence I had been offered the help of school/parent support and I had refused it. In fact I had accepted it (as school well knows) and the lady herself had said that she couldn't help me as I was, in her words, clearly articulate and confident enough to do anything she could offer to do. She even asked me to help her by running classes for women experiencing DV! I made this clear in my complaint but the school/Head are twisting the facts.
The scenario so far in many face to face meetings has been to give me meaningless reassurances and to pin the "blame" on DD for over-worrying about bullying and reacting with (admittedly) unacceptable challenging behaviour to it and on me for being "unco-operative" and for having HE-ed in the past!
This sounds familiar, Valhalla. They are making a mess of it and want to pass the blame onto someone else=you.
The tactics of pretending that we were refusing help was what dd's former head used for years to get out of ever having to do anything to support dd's disability. I would keep a very careful log of anything that ever passes between you and these people and make sure they see you doing it.
At the same time, of course, you need to try as hard as you can to get your dd to see that she must try not not to oust herself from the moral high ground. And I would ask for teachers to clarify to me directly what is being said, just in case your dd exaggerates/gets the wrong end of the stick.
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