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To want to spend Saturday afternoons Reading the guardian and listening to Any Questions, not lunching with in-laws (or anyone)?

(21 Posts)
Bigmouthstrikesagain Thu 05-Nov-09 20:14:36

Recently my mil has requested lunching with us on a Saturday, several times. I have demurred citing 'things to do' keeping it vague but purposeful.

I always prefer keeping Sunday for 'visiting' and Saturday afternoon for unwinding and basically avoiding (my family) - hiding in the kitchen, pottering, reading the paper, listening to radio 4.

But am I being a bit tight should I agree to a luncheon with family and lose my Saturday refuge routine for once!?

Just wondering how long I can keep making excuses (I am a terrible liar)?

diddl Thu 05-Nov-09 20:16:19

Can you ask her to visit on a Sunday, then?

Waswondering Thu 05-Nov-09 20:18:46

Stick with your Saturdays- if for no other reason than it's a better schedule than R4's Sunday lunchtime one!!

smile

Bigmouthstrikesagain Thu 05-Nov-09 20:19:04

I should add we have lunched with the family on Sundays fairly regularly/ recently so I am not preventing us getting together. I am just aware that for some reason mil is keen on meeting up on a Saturday instead.

diddl Thu 05-Nov-09 20:21:23

Well, would it really hurt to do it Sat for once?

NeedaNewName Thu 05-Nov-09 20:21:40

Why can't you say Saturdays not really good for me, or is it a really huge problem to give up one saturday once in a while

Bigmouthstrikesagain Thu 05-Nov-09 20:21:41

It is when a routine gets threatened you realise how important it is to you! And yes Sunday lunch schedules are pretty poor Ww! grin

NeedaNewName Thu 05-Nov-09 20:26:22

Sometimes it good to shake up a routine though, but hey its your saturday, how would you feel if your OH and children went out instead - I really don;t think its somethign to make an issue out of - choose your battles!

Bigmouthstrikesagain Thu 05-Nov-09 20:27:11

I am probably being unreasonable but ... Well actually there aren't any blush

Bigmouthstrikesagain Thu 05-Nov-09 20:31:59

I would be delighted if dh and dc went out instead! grin

honestly the pil are lovely do I feel bad not having a solid reason to say no to Saturdays - but my little habit is just what I need to restore my equilibrium after a week with 3 children btwn 1-5 and dh working long hours!

NeedaNewName Thu 05-Nov-09 20:33:52

fair enough - can you tell her that?

pointydogg Thu 05-Nov-09 20:37:28

Is there a reason why sunday is tricky for your mil?

Bigmouthstrikesagain Thu 05-Nov-09 20:53:38

I could tell mil but I think I would feel a bit lame - still that shouldn't prevent being honest.

As far as I know there is no reason sundays are a problem the in laws are retired now and like to keep busy but now car boot season is over if anything they are less busy on Sundays than usual.

Bigmouthstrikesagain Thu 05-Nov-09 20:58:23

Ach who gives a toss anyway - this isn't a real problem more a slight irritation thank you or your time! tea and biscuit all round!grin

2rebecca Thu 05-Nov-09 23:59:09

I'd just be honest and say you prefer to stay in on Saturdays to unwind and ask if there's a particular reason she wants to see you on Saturday rather than Sunday. I wouldn't be keen on any sort of regular visiting regime, but some people seem to like that sort of thing. I think if they are retired and you prefer Saturdays at home there's no reason to swap the day, especially as it sounds as though they're more into the visiting thing than you are.
I think enjoying a rest day on a Saturday and liking the radio is a valid reason. Agree Sunday radio not as good.
We do housework and homework on Saturdays +/_ school sport events on Sat am and then usually do other sporting stuff on Sun am and unwind/ more homework Sun pm so only fit in a visit once every couple of months. Husband sees his parents after work most weeks though and mine live hours away so thankfully no-one pushes us to do more, otherwise weekends would start to seem more stressful than the week at work.

echt Fri 06-Nov-09 07:31:11

Whatever you do, don't let it become a routine fixture (sorry about the tautology). It's your time; you don't have to explain yourself.

yellowvan Fri 06-Nov-09 07:53:26

iplayer? or are you a ranting any answers contributor wink

retiredgoth2 Fri 06-Nov-09 08:33:10

...I am truly envious of your Saturday refuge; I would sell several children to gain something similar.

Though would probably elect for Sunday on the Home Service (Archers, Desert Island Discs, Just A Minute) and substitute The Times for the Guardian (trainee reactionary)...

Stick to your guns, say I!

inchhighprivateeye Fri 06-Nov-09 18:19:17

I keep thinking of this from the other perspective - how often have we seen complaints about MILs who prioritised their own lives over that of their extended family? If there was a thread titled "MIL can't be bothered to see GC cos she must read The Guardian every Saturday" you would all be piling in to moan.

Also think that if you miss your routine for a week or so, you'll probably enjoy it even more when you go back to it.

MrsMellowdrummer Sat 07-Nov-09 10:32:00

Could it be you're currently messing with your mil's Desert Island Disc Habbit? wink

edam Sat 07-Nov-09 10:34:07

yy I'm completely with you! Get irritated enough by dh and ds demanding my attention during the News Quiz and Any Questions, never mind anyone else.

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