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Is DH being unreasonable for not wanting to book a hotel?

(94 Posts)

We have a 7:30 flight from Gatwick to catch, we're at least a 4 if not 5 hour drive from Gatwick. I'm guessing we need to check in at 5:30am at the latest.

He just says that we can drive down during the night. With 8yo DD, then a flight, then a 3.5hr transfer the other side.

Just because he doesn't want to spend £100 on a hotel which includes parking, we'll have to spend £50 on parking anyway.

squeaver Thu 05-Nov-09 19:32:26

Yes of course he is.

(Although doing it with an 8yo is, I imagine, a great deal different to doing it with, say, a 2yo)

And I'm blaming him for the fact there are no Northeren flights left and we're having to go to Gatwick. I've been nagging asking him for 2 months to book a ski holiday.

NeedaNewName Thu 05-Nov-09 19:42:17

don;t mean to stir here (cos I would be mad in your shoes too) but why didn;t you book the flights?

NeedaNewName Thu 05-Nov-09 19:42:48

And yes, a hotel would be a much better idea for you all - no frayed tempers then

allaboutme Thu 05-Nov-09 19:46:37

unless you and DD are able to sleep in the car and he does all the driving?
if it was me though i'd be booking the hotel asap tbh

Fabster Thu 05-Nov-09 19:48:46

You could have booked the flight and the hotel yourself.

BitOfFun Thu 05-Nov-09 19:51:46

Depends whose card you need to use, surely? I vote hotel too.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 05-Nov-09 19:52:35

Why didn't you do it? I'm genuinely curious.

I need his credit card to pay for the hotel. Am skint after too much Xmas shopping.

Hassled Thu 05-Nov-09 21:51:34

He's being a twat, and you can tell him so.

He's just point blank refused to pay and told me if I want it then I can book it. I've told him I don't have the money. There is no way I sleep in the car, plane or coach. How the hell can I go a whole day/night/day without sleep?

I'm going to end up refusing to go on holiday now. Am seriously pissed off.

hf128219 Thu 05-Nov-09 22:01:27

This is a family holiday, right? You just remove his card from his wallet and go on to or whatever and key in 5873 xxxx 5764 xxxx 67xx Expiry 01/10 Security Code 123

Bobs your uncle. Job done.

neenz Thu 05-Nov-09 22:02:24

HIBU, but then you should have access to money as much as he does. What's with separate accounts, and shouldn't he pay for some of the christmas presents?

ImSoNotTelling Thu 05-Nov-09 22:03:49

I think you are being unreasonable for organising your finances like that TBH. Should have joint money then you could have booked it all up.

All sounds a bit confrontational as well.

When are you going?

IwishIwasmoreorganised Thu 05-Nov-09 22:05:06

Get the hotel booked. You're being daft - no way should you even be considering not going on the holiday because of this (but I love skiing if there is a spare space wink

We go in 8 or 9 weeks. Only booked the holiday today, I told him that the only flight was from Gatwick and we'd need to stay overnight, he said OK book it.

He's now refusing to talk about it and I've told him I'm not going. He's stomped upstairs muttering and swearing. Refused to come back when I asked him to.

Oh and he never pays for any Xmas presents, I buy and pay for them all. Including ones for his mother and nieces. He earns 4x what I do. He'd go mad if I used his credit card.

noshouting Thu 05-Nov-09 22:10:57

Please don't let him try to drive all through the night.
A friend on my DS was with his family driving up from Heathrow to Scotland overnight after a holiday and Dad fell asleep, crashed the car and the Dad died.
It is so dangerous to drive tired.

ImSoNotTelling Thu 05-Nov-09 22:11:38

Why not find an excellent hotel deal and talk to him when you've both calmed down in the morning.

Or just take his card and book it.

I don't know TBH we don't really have this sort of carry-on.

Does he normally do stuff like this? What is his reason for refusing - just an extra £50??

ImSoNotTelling Thu 05-Nov-09 22:13:09

Just seen your last post stripey about the xmas pressies shockshockshock he sounds like an arse.

What is it with all these men on here witholding money from their families. I don't get it sad

LyraSilvertongue Thu 05-Nov-09 22:16:46

If it includes parking, £100 is not that much if it saves you from a day of dragging yourselves around exhausted.
I agree you should have booked it yourself - DH could have given you his card details surely?
I always book our holidays. I don't trust DP to get it right. He gives me his card and I book within agreed spending limits.

Rindercella Thu 05-Nov-09 22:17:50

Of course he is BU. But, you are not going to resolve this with him tonight. Don't mention it again this evening, and then do some research and find a good deal.

The long stay carparks are miles away from the hotels at Gatwick, and some of the hotels are miles away from the airport, but you should be able to get a good deal.

It is total lunacy to think you can do a 4+ hour drive to check in at 5.30am. One thing when you are 19 years old. Quite another when you have a child to consider too.

It would seem to me that you and your DH need to have a proper sort out of your joint finances - it doesn't sound too healthy for your relationship tbh sad

TrillianAstra Thu 05-Nov-09 22:19:59

There's no way you will be able to sleep in a car, coach, or plane? That sounds a little precious.

If he said 'go book it then' why didn't you? That sounds like permission to me.

Him being tight with money in other ways is a separate issue to the hotel.

Personally I would want a hotel too.

No when he said you book it he means with my card. There is no way he will let me use his card to book it, he's made that very clear.

We've done it before on previous years but only when flying from Birmingham. So we'd go to bed at 10:00pm and get up at 01:00am. I didn't sleep then the whole way there. I've seriously never been able to sleep when travelling, even the 24 hour journey to Uganda I was awake the whole time.

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