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AIBU?

To think BF is wrong to CHOOSE not to take maintainence from exH, but claim full benefits instead

13 replies

drivinmecrazy · 05/11/2009 09:33

BF's exH works, earning a fair wage but she chooses not to take any money off him so she can get full benefits, think it is worse that she has only been in UK for 4 years, so has paid nothing into system, although her ex is British. Is it even legal?

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violethill · 05/11/2009 09:46

Why would your friend's ex pay to maintain her? Why doesn't she get a job? You don't mention any children - do you mean pay maintenance for his kids?

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drivinmecrazy · 05/11/2009 09:53

Sorry, yes 4 kids, did mean pay towards the children.

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SolidGoldBangers · 05/11/2009 09:55

Well, if his name is on the DC's birth certificate the CSA will chase him for money anyway.
Mind you, is your friend's problem due to the fact that the man is abusive or manipulative and therefore it's not entirely safe to take money from him?

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YouCantTeuchThis · 05/11/2009 09:56

CSA will recoup the money from him anyway AFAIK.

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violethill · 05/11/2009 09:57

If this is for real, Well, of course it's wrong, and I would hope illegal, though frankly the benefits system is such a joke that not a lot would surprise me. Some people just don't get the fact that benefits don't grow on trees - it comes from other people going out and working. Her ex hasn't stopped being a father. They should be supporting their own kids, not expecting any one else to be doing it for them.

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RealityBites · 05/11/2009 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

violethill · 05/11/2009 10:01

The OP says her friend is CHOOSING to do this.

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RealityBites · 05/11/2009 10:04

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curiositykilledscarybin · 05/11/2009 10:11

Not sure why you are botherd by this OP. It sounds a likely story. If she is entitled to benefits she is entitled if she isn't entitled she won't get them.

If she claims benefits they will chase the ex using the CSA the money will go to the Government in order to help them recoup some of the cost of paying her benefits, it won't go to her.

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drivinmecrazy · 05/11/2009 10:14

He is definately not abusive, and would be happy to pay. She would rather he use his money to pay for extras for the children, and reasons if he gave her money it would just lessen her benefit claim so she would be no better off. I have said to her that I think that the CSA might get itself involved, but she has said that she has taken advice and he doesn't have to pay. Just wanted to really clarify if this is the way the system works because it does seem slightly twisted

OP posts:
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Litchick · 05/11/2009 10:33

Mixed feelings here.
On the one hand they are his children and he should pay rather than the burden be placed on Johnny tax payer.
However, perhaps your friend knows he will let her down, bugger her about etc

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shelleylou · 05/11/2009 10:39

Since the change last october CSA no longer get involved as standard. You can tell them you dont want them to chase up xp. Or cancel a claim at any time. Your friend will be entitled to £20 a week from her xp before her income support is effected.

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junglist1 · 05/11/2009 10:59

YABU benefits are guaranteed (when cock ups don't happen). The ex might decide one day he's not the father or start making other pathetic excuses.

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