Ok so some background info, I'm a SAHM, three DC two primary age and a 1 year old with SN. We are by no means well off but manage ok and have money for extras now and again. DH works late and is away sometimes.
Today I was talking with a friend about trying to get the housework done and mentioned how I could do with a day or weekend to myself have a sort out and a proper clean but it's a struggle with busy weekends, DH's work and no family near by. She suggests a one off clean with an agency she's used and gives me the number. Good idea thinks I I'll dicuss with DH later.
When the DC are in bed I sit down with him (he's checking emails) and explain the issue, how much it would cost and how much it would really help me out etc. Before I can even suggest that if not maybe he could take the DC out for the day he explodes big time along the lines of 'why is this important' , 'and where do you think the money's coming from', why are you bothering me with this now', ' if you want it you find the money' , 'you're going to keep going on about this now aren't you?' and finishes with 'go away'.
AIBU to expect to be able to have an adult conversation with my DH about our house, my job of running it and the things that affect my life. I thought we were doing a good job of running things together and my contribution was seen as important and valued as much as his job and the things he deems important (which he expects me to listen about and I do)
On this occasion he has been unreasonable, but I can't judge if this is a pattern on one snapshot. YANBU to expect to have an adult conversation, but maybe you caught him at a bad time? You should broach the subject with him again and tell him you don't expect to be spoken to like that again.