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To not put friend's kids photos on Facebook?

(21 Posts)
harimosmummy Wed 04-Nov-09 17:25:50

Well, am I?

I love Facebook. I put lots of pictures of my kids / family / life on facebook. It works for me.

I have always, quite studiously, never included pictures I may have taken of my friend's children.

(I will e-mail them to the parents)

I've always thought that was probably best - I wouldn't like to assume that another parents (even a good friend) want photos of their child all over facebook and I would e-mail them photos so they could add them to a facebook account themselves if they wanted.

But, a friend today mentioned that I seemed a bit 'self absorbed' with my kids because I don't include other kids....

My kids are 17mo and 3mo, so not old enough to comment...

So what do you think? I've always thought it would be best to assume that the only people who should choose to put pictures of (young) children on the internet would be the parents? Or do I come across as really selfish? Only putting pictures of my kids on there?

shockers Wed 04-Nov-09 17:30:06

I would never put anyone else's child on without asking permission and I would only do that if my family were on the picture too and the child's parents were FB friends.

PandaG Wed 04-Nov-09 17:30:08

I always ask permission to put up photos of others' children, if I have taken a group photo. Have also been asked if it is ok for photos of my children to be put on friends' FB.

so Ithink you are being perfectly reasonable

shockers Wed 04-Nov-09 17:30:56

Self absorbed??? How odd!

Hulababy Wed 04-Nov-09 17:51:02

I would never put photos up of other children without their parent's permission. And I always restrict access to photos to friends only.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Wed 04-Nov-09 17:52:06


Firawla Wed 04-Nov-09 17:53:24

its not selfish, it would be considered rude to put other kids pics up without permission - everyone knows that!
i dont have other people's kids on my facebook either, but why wud u really need to because your friends and family members on facebook prob do not know these other kids, so its like random kids to them and may not be interested. whereas they might want to see yours if they dont live near by.
so yanbu dont worry you're just normal.

harimosmummy Wed 04-Nov-09 18:11:09

Thanks guys.

Firwala - I agree with you completely - I'm putting pictures up primarily so my family (I don't live close to them) can see my kids.

Plus, as I'm reasonably new to this area, I have several 'new' friends and I wouldn't want to appear to distinguish between 'new' friends and 'old' friends.

So, my rule, is NO kids, other than family...

I did think I was doing the right thing, but felt a bit blush when someone mentioned it.

Undercovamutha Wed 04-Nov-09 18:11:15

YANBU, I only put photos on FB of my kids, and my one friends kids (who we regularly holiday with). We have agreed this is ok.

canihaveapeeinpeacepleasebob Wed 04-Nov-09 18:12:27

i think that you're doing the right thing. I am on face book and never put pics of other peoples kids on, because it's not my place to.
i would be angry if someone did it to my kids without my permission.

lilyjen Wed 04-Nov-09 18:22:32

YANBU and you have made me realise that i've made a mistake..I put pics up of my DD's birthday party and other kids were in the pics whose parents aren't on facebook. I felt slightly uneasy when I did that but thought I was being I see it's prob best to take them off blush

bibbitybobbityhat Wed 04-Nov-09 18:26:37


Mind you not so long ago there was a thread on MN where someone objected to her sister or friend putting pictures of her dc on facebook, and she was roundly jumped on by loads of posters telling her not to be so silly and controlling and "owning" her child hmm.

But I don't do facebook, I don't have pictures of myself up on the internet, and I don't want pictures of my dc up either.

So yanbu. Very thoughtful of you op.

IsItMeOr Wed 04-Nov-09 18:30:12

YANBU, you are being thoughtful. I am okay about people putting up pictures of DS, but tbh wouldn't do the reverse for the reasons you mention. My sister explicitly asked us not to put any pictures of her family on a passworded internet site we have. Her children, her choice.

Lol at self-absorbed comment - I can't even begin to imagine why anybody would say that. Are they usually extremely opinionated and tactless, or are you really sure they're a friend?

GroundhogsRocketScientist Wed 04-Nov-09 18:48:34

YANBU at all. I wouldn't even put pictures of my new baby niece. She's not 'mine' to post up on a site.

My DS yes, my DH yes, My mum and dad, yes. But all my settings are to maximum privacy, so no-one outside my 'friends' gets to see anything anyway.

pigletmania Wed 04-Nov-09 18:50:06

If i take pictures of my dd and there are friends children in the pictures i aways ask them if its ok to put them on Facebook as i use it quite regularly, there has never been a no as yet.

pigletmania Wed 04-Nov-09 18:51:59

oh and i have privacy restrictions on FB too

KatsMother Thu 05-Nov-09 08:52:05

YANBU. I put pictures up of my nieces and nephews, because my sisters do - restricted to friends, of course - but would not put pictures of any other children up without their parents' express permission.

I don't post pictures of my goddaughter, even though her mum does, because her dad is really uncomfortable about it.

Tee2072 Thu 05-Nov-09 09:00:57

By definition FB is self absorbed! Its all about you you you!

But even if it wasn't, you are not being self absorbed by not putting up pictures of friend's children. You're being polite.

Astrid28 Thu 05-Nov-09 11:28:49

YANBU. The second you post a pic of someone elses child they'll complain about it.

I once posted a pic on Facebook of my DD and her little friend (who I didn't actually want in the pic in the first place) to show my sis who lives abroad that DD was wearing an outfit she sent over.

The friend made me take the pic off because she doesn't want other people seeing her DD.

I found it a bit precious tbh, who is she Michael Jackson? It was one picture!

I post so many pics of DD on Facebook because of my sis, but I'd say 80% of them are in private albums and are rarely of non- family children.

harimosmummy Thu 05-Nov-09 23:06:31

You have all made me feel sooo much better about things.

I do go through my photos and select only those of my DS and DS for Facebook, and I do deselect any where other children are very obvious... But I don't do this because I don't care about the other kids, just that I don't think it's my right to do that.

And, I think the majority verdict is that it's the right decision unless another agreement has been made!!

BikiniBottom Thu 05-Nov-09 23:15:55

I wish the people I knew were as concientious as you. I don't like my kids pictures being on facebook. But regardless of my opinion, your friend is an idiot.

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