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AIBU?

To think my brother is a tosser

39 replies

silentcatastrophe · 03/11/2009 17:52

My brother travelled half the country at the weekend to go to a party (one day) and was asked by my dad to get a present from him to my dcs. He didn't call or try to make any contact at all. When I spoke to him today he said that he would only call people he was going to see.

When I spoke to him last week, he said, oh see you at home, bla bla. He's never been to our house before.

Although I risk sounding like a paranoid nutter, I think he was deliberately avoiding us. His wife is ALWAYS rude, totally unprovoked, and although I could ask her if they have had any more visits from the police, SS etc, I don't see the point. She also hears voices and is not involved with any spiritualist churches. My SIL doesn't like me, and I rather suspect that she has been putting the brakes on. I don't like her either, but could tolerate her better were she not always so shudderingly rude.

It is sad that my dcs don't know their cousins, having only met the elder one a handful of times and always under strange circumstances.

For the record, my other brother avoids SIL like the plague for the same reasons.

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AnyFucker · 03/11/2009 17:54

am not sure of the point of this post

or that I even understand it......

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silentcatastrophe · 03/11/2009 18:00

I am pretty peeved that my brother could not be bothered to contact me to let me know that he had presents for my children and was leaving them somewhere for me to pick up. I think it's beyond rude.

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IHateWinter · 03/11/2009 18:00

You need to make your post a little clearer.

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iLikeDots · 03/11/2009 18:07

OP... don't really understand the post. Could you clarify ?

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Lexilicious · 03/11/2009 18:14

brother was delivering presents from dad?

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silentcatastrophe · 03/11/2009 18:22

I'll try. Sorry, I am v. upset and obviously not being very articulate.

Last week, I had a (friendly) conversation with my brother in which he said he was coming up to stay near us for the weekend and was looking forward to seeing us. My father gave him some things to bring with him for my dcs, on the assumption that we would at least meet.

In the event, my brother came and went without a squeak, without telling me that he was here or what he had done with my dcs' presents.

I am just slightly reeling that my brother should bother to travel about 250 miles across the country to within spitting distance, not bother to make any contact whatsoever, and fail to make sure I knew what to do about the gifts from my dad.

Is this any clearer? If I'm still unclear, I'll try the Stately Home thread. It is all very dysfunctional!

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ImSoNotTelling · 03/11/2009 18:24

So brother came and had presents but didn't bother giving them/calling/seeing you and you think your SIL is behind it?

She also hears voices and has been involved with SS etc?

Is that it?

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ImSoNotTelling · 03/11/2009 18:26

x-post sorry slow typing baby on me

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silentcatastrophe · 03/11/2009 18:31

Basically, yes.

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SerendipitousHarlot · 03/11/2009 18:34

What's the spiritualist church got to do with it? Sorry.

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SerendipitousHarlot · 03/11/2009 18:36

Oh it's ok - I see what you mean now. I was all ready to get the hump at you slating spiritualism

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WoTmania · 03/11/2009 18:37

I think it's not member of spirtualist church i.e hearing voices that can't be passed off as 'the Voice of God'.

YANBU

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famishedass · 03/11/2009 18:39

If his wife hears voices, has the police and SS at her door, I'd say he's probably got more pressing things to attend to than bringing your dc their belongings, sorry.

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ImSoNotTelling · 03/11/2009 18:40

Um well on the face of it he sounds like a tosser, yes. Have you spoken to him about it?

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AnyFucker · 03/11/2009 18:42

well, I understand a bit better now

I am really not sure why you have your knickers in such a twist, though

and what does SIL hearing voices have to do with it ?

bizarre

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IHateWinter · 03/11/2009 19:05

Oh i understand Now. How hurtful. He could at least have popped round and dropped off the presents for DCs. Doesn't he care about your DCs at all considering he's their Uncle. Didn't he want to see you? He sounds selfish.

Try not to let it worry you and get you down too much. If it makes you feel better, my brother once travelled all the way from somerset via National Express but I only found out he was around because he went into town and DCs and I bumped into him in the shop He would not have told me he was around or popped to see me and dcs otherwise.

Unfortunately you can't pick your family though. My advice is look to friends to fill the gaps family don't fill or you'll always be wishing they were different. (Not that I still don't do that myself from time to time - you've given me a mental reminder)

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iLikeDots · 03/11/2009 19:09

I understand a bit better.

Still don't understand what SIL hearing voices and the police/SS at their door has any significance to you being annoyed that the presents from your dad weren't delivered for your DC's

Or am I missing something?

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shineoncrazyfirecracker · 03/11/2009 19:14

This reply has been deleted

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silentcatastrophe · 03/11/2009 19:19

I do think it's odd to go and see all your other relations in the area, apart from one.

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ImSoNotTelling · 03/11/2009 19:22

Have you spoken to him though? Asked him what happened? Are you/were you close? Is he usually quite good with this stuff or not?

Me and my bro get on fine for two people with nothing in common, but he is a very rude and selfish person generally. This is easily the sort of thing he would do (although in practice he still lives 5 mins up the road with my mum. But when I go round he rarely comes down to say hello, even when I had a new baby with me).

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MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 03/11/2009 19:28

OK - so I get the bit about bro not coming to see you and yes, I would be annoyed at that. And you think this is because his wife, your SIL, has put the kybosh on him seeing you - is that right?

And now I see that he seems to have gone to see everyone else but you. Again, yes I would be annoyed and probably ask him why.

Not sure what all the hearing voices bit is about though.

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silentcatastrophe · 03/11/2009 19:45

My SIL hates me, I mean really hates me. I asked my bro about it, and he said, oh don't worry she hates everyone. So, yes, she probably did put the kybost on my seeing him.

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Defluffmyfanjo · 03/11/2009 19:51

Shineone - get a grip its not the clues on 3-2-1 you know!!

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shineoncrazyfirecracker · 03/11/2009 20:04

This reply has been deleted

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Defluffmyfanjo · 03/11/2009 20:12

Ive got spd, so its been a round of physio, attempting and failing to get off sofa etc. All very irritating.

Back now though and as I'm housebound will be lurking around MN a lot probably!

Seriously am I a bit thick or were those 3-2-1 clues totally incomprehensible??! And I'm only 34 you cheeky mare.

OP - As you were, even though you're mad as a box of frogs, pray continue

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