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25 weeks pregnant and alone

(6 Posts)
emma1988 Mon 02-Nov-09 22:29:20

hi i am 25 wk pregnant and alone.
i kicked my husband out last week after finding him to be having an affair with another woman, i now find out they are already planning on getting a house together!
can i legaly stop my husband seeing my child alone once it is born whilst the other woman is around as she used to be a druggie and has tld me she wants baby dead! you here so much about things happening on the news these days i would never settle.
i have said he can see it when convinient with me but not with his new partner present.
he has said he is taking a month off work when baby born to be with it!
also he has agreed to pay me maintenance once baby is here,but will not provide any financial help or buy any items before it is born. can i do anything about this?

hope all this makes sense, i know what i want in my head but unsure if i can physically carry it out.

Vallhala Mon 02-Nov-09 22:39:15

Firstly, I'm so very sorry.

Secondly, AFAIK your ex is not obligated in law to provide for your baby before he/she is born but will be so after the birth. As far as contact with the baby, if you can come to a mutual agreement its said by those who have gone through similar experiences that this is far better for all and less stressful than going through the courts.

If you have to go through the courts you will generally find that you can't stop your ex introducing the babe to his new partner. However as the child concerned will be a newborn you may find that you can negotiate access in your home (the partner may be less willing to be there, IFSWIM), on the grounds that he/she is too young to be away from mum.

I'm sure that there will be others along who have far more knowledge than I. Take care and keep well.

oldraver Mon 02-Nov-09 23:28:05

No you cant really stop him eventually taking HIS baby to his g/f's home, unless there was evidence of possible harm to the child.

The best thing you can do for the time being is offer contact in your own home to start off with, so he wouldn't need to take the baby away. You have to accept that it will happen at some point. If it did go to court, any attempt at preventing contact wouldn't be viewed favourably

mmrred Tue 03-Nov-09 18:53:23

Remember that you must be completely in shock so don't try to make far-reaching decisions about the future of the baby and the relationship with his/her father right now. They might not even be together then.

I think first of all you need to take care of yourself, get over the shock and work out what you are going to do to cope. Do you have any other family support?

When you are calmer you can look at the situation and decide how to move forward into a separated but cordial parenting relationship. Eventually (unless you get back together) your child will be spending unsupervised time with Dad and whoever he judges to be appropriate to be around the child, as with you. But there's a long way to go yet. Don't let him pressure you but don't bother getting into ultimatums and demands right now.

slushy06 Tue 03-Nov-09 19:15:04

No advice just wanted to say I am really sorry for you do you have a family member in rl who can help you.

Also might be worth looking into whether or not if you are bf he can have access away from you or if he has to stay near by so you have more time to sort out your feelings and custody arrangements.

fandango75 Tue 03-Nov-09 20:31:24

i.m so sorry i hope much joy lies ahead for you

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