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AIBU to mind about this present?

(30 Posts)
loupiots Sun 01-Nov-09 20:04:39

I spent some time thinking up a gift for a friend of mine as she has been having a bit of a hard time, and I wanted to make her feel better. In the end I bought her an ipod and loaded it up with albums and songs that I thought she would like.

I just found out that she has auctioned it off. (It's for a good cause, half of the proceeds go to charity and the other half goes to her, so it not entirely selfish)

I know that once you give a gift then it's out of your hands, but I don't know, I just feel a bit hurt by it.

It just seems a bit cold - y/n?

shockers Sun 01-Nov-09 20:08:39

I think so too...

toddlerama Sun 01-Nov-09 20:09:12

Well, if she told you that's what she did, she's rude and mean. If you were never meant to find out....we've all done it.....

alicet Sun 01-Nov-09 20:09:14

You are right that there is nothing you can do about this but I would be really hurt too. It's not about the money is it - it's the thought and effort you put into getting something you thought would cheer her up and she's just gone and sold it.

You say she's having a tough time - is it financial problems? The reason I ask is that if so this would be a little more understandable but in your shoes I'd still be hurt tbh.

Next time don't bother

FuckwitsAllofthem Sun 01-Nov-09 20:10:35

I agree, I would mind a lot that she had done that with my thoughtful gift FOR HER

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 01-Nov-09 20:14:26

It is understandable that you feel hurt; this wasn't just a piece of technology, it was time and effort and thoughtfulness. It's sale must feel a little like rejection, a lack of appreciation for what went into the gift.

I really don't think this is an issue where reasonableness or otherwise comes into it.

loupiots Sun 01-Nov-09 20:16:23

No - not financial problems at all. I too would kind of understand it a bit more if there were, tbh.

It does feel like a rejection. I'm not angry, just ~hurt~ and a bit disappointed.

edam Sun 01-Nov-09 20:37:04

Not a nice way for her to behave at all. You put a lot of effort into creating a lovely gift that should have meant something to her.

Oh well, you'll know not to make an effort with presents for her ever again!

InMyLittleHead Sun 01-Nov-09 20:38:51

How generous are you?! I'd love to get a present like that. YANBU to be upset, I think it was quite a cold thing to do.

PeedOffWithNits Sun 01-Nov-09 20:48:27

OP - it was my birthday last week. i would LOVE an ipod and promise not to flog it, good cause or not!

have just reread thread - was this just a spur of the moment gift to cheer her up, not birthday or anything?

I would seriously reasses the friendship. Or does she think you are being too showy with your money, or trying to buy her friendship??

Heifer Sun 01-Nov-09 20:50:02

How long did she have it before she auctioned if off? Is it possible that she already had an Ipod? Also maybe she downloaded all the songs you so kindly put on so not a total wasted present.

I would be miffed though.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied Sun 01-Nov-09 21:05:28

YANBU. How can she not have realised the sentiment behind it- you chose the songs. Songs are a big deal, they're personal.

WidowWadman Sun 01-Nov-09 21:10:27

She could have thought it's just a used I-Pod if it was given without explanation.

girlsyearapart Sun 01-Nov-09 21:22:52


As I can't even get songs onto my own i pod anymore! Takes some effort that does..

How did it come up in conversation that she'd auctioned it?

LoveBeingAMummy Sun 01-Nov-09 21:24:29

do you know why she did it?

LynetteScavo Sun 01-Nov-09 21:29:17

Did she know you'd chosen the songs especially for her?

It does seem a bit did you find out?

allaboutme Sun 01-Nov-09 21:30:52

How long ao did you give her the ipod before she sold it?
Also did you explain about the songs that you put on it?

loupiots Sun 01-Nov-09 21:35:24

I found out through a newsletter. It listed an event that she had gone to and said what had been donated to the charity auction by each person.

I knew that she didn't have an Ipod already. Anyway, haven't spoken to her yet - I'll wait and see if she brings it up. If not, guess I'll just chalk it up to experience.

loupiots Sun 01-Nov-09 21:37:39

Gave it to her back in the summer and I did say - hope you like the music I've put on ...

AnyGhoulKno Sun 01-Nov-09 21:37:56

such a shame, what a thoughtful gift. perhaps she thought she wouldn't get round to using it.

LynetteScavo Sun 01-Nov-09 21:42:38

Maybe she just never used it?

mooki Sun 01-Nov-09 21:57:31

Is it possible she liked it so much that she bought another one to give away at the auction?

BosomForAPillow Sun 01-Nov-09 22:02:33

Maybe the auctioned off ipod was a different one to the one you gave her?

lilolilmanchester Sun 01-Nov-09 22:13:34

I would feel hurt too, Lou. Tho before spending that kind of money on a gift would have made absolutely sure it was what she wanted. Maybe she is so deperate that she needs the money?

Mummee Sun 01-Nov-09 22:50:52

I would just clarify things with her. How old is she? maybe she is not really into things like that or was not using it much. Is she a music lover with loads of spare time?

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