To tell my mum I don't want her to come on holiday with me?

[muminthecity]

Background: I am a single parent to DD, aged 4. My family, especially my mum, are all wonderful and help me out loads with DD.

Yesterday, a friend at work offered me a holiday in the New Forest next week as she is unable to go. It was too good a chance to miss so I took her up on the offer. I'm really looking forward to a week away with DD, the place we are staying at has loads of things for kids to do, horseriding, swimming, beach, playground etc. When I showed my mum the brochure she saw that we have a 2-bed chalet and offered to come with us. I told her she doesn't have to, we'll be fine etc but she insisted. The trouble is, she can be very over bearing and will take over. She also gives in to DD and is very inconsistent with her and as a result, DD's behaviour is awful when my mother is around.

The other reason I don't want her to come is that I have a lot of reading to do for my OU course which I was planning to do in the evenings when DD is asleep.

I'm not sure whether my mum actually wants to come or is just offering as she wants to help out. How do I tell her I don't want her to come without sounding horrible/ungrateful?

[CarGirl]

How about a breezey text "thanks for your offer of coming next week but now I thought abouut it I've decided I'd like it to just be us 2 this time"

she chan't argue with your reason, if she gets the hump it will give her a chance to compose herself rather than you having to see/hear her gut reaction.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

I would concentrate on the OU reading, and maybe a little bit on having special-alone-time-with-DD.

Maybe a little bit of 'wouldn't you like some time without us', but that can be risky as it can be countered with 'I love being with you both' too easily.

[CarGirl]

if you mention the OU reading your mum may insist on coming along to give you a break!

As your dd is 4 (presume not at school yet though?) some special one on one time because it won't be the same once she starts school

[muminthecity]

Thank you fo your suggestions, think I will say something about special one on one time as mum is aware we don't get much time alone together with work and nursery etc