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To be suprised by this mums reaction?

(71 Posts)
NormaSknockers Fri 30-Oct-09 16:16:38

I was on the train yesterday with the DC & there was a mum with her 2 boys sitting opposite, the boys were aged about 6 & 9 at a guess.

The youngest lad was playing on what I think was a PSP & started to get frustrated, he was moaning that he couldn't get past this certain bit then in a temper shouted & threw the PSP in the floor (really hard too) folding his arms & sulking. I was shock but his mum scooped up the PSP, wrapped her arms around her DS & said 'don't worry babe Mummy will help you get past that bit' to which he tried to shove her off still moaning so she fished around in her bag & handed him a chocolate bar hmm

AIBU to be miffed by her reaction? If DD had done that I would have taken the PSP (or whatever) away until she said sorry & learnt to treat her things with respect.

BalloonSlayer Fri 30-Oct-09 16:18:53


Glad I'm not his teacher with a mum like that. grin

Biobytes Fri 30-Oct-09 16:20:15

I would be miffed by that reaction but I have seen MANY people acting like that.

Fibilou Fri 30-Oct-09 16:20:45


He's going to be lovely at 17

SixtyFootGhoul Fri 30-Oct-09 16:21:44

Well that would not have been my reaction.
If DS had done that I would hav gone ballistic!

4GHASTLYGHOULSandnotout Fri 30-Oct-09 16:22:34

He sounds like my nephews! Yanbu he sounds like a spoilt brat!

TheDevilEatsBabies Fri 30-Oct-09 16:28:48

it might be that she didn't want to get mad at him on the train.

she probably thinks she looks like a better mother if she doesn't make a fuss in public, rather than screamign and yelling like some mums (obv she's wrong, but she's keeping up appearances...)

NormaSknockers Fri 30-Oct-09 16:41:31

Phew! I thought for one awful minute you were all going to tell me I was BU!

Northernlurker Fri 30-Oct-09 16:41:33

Well until you have a child who suffers unusually with frustration than this behaviour will continue to seem unreasonable to you. I see it differently - child was upset and angry with himself, mum helped him past it - where's the problem? Oh and the chocolate bar - lots of children get grouchy and difficult when they have low blood sugar. Chocolate not the best thing for that because the sugar high will crash but she's on a train - her options are limited!

pigletmania Fri 30-Oct-09 16:42:04


Ohforfoxsake Fri 30-Oct-09 16:45:29

Agree with Northern. Chances are the situation would have been made a whole lot worse if she'd insisted he apologise for throwing (presumably) his toy on the floor.

My 8 yo isn't a spoiled brat, but does react in a flash if he gets frustrated and is very hard on himself. Sometimes being nice and recognising your childs personality is the way forward.

NormaSknockers Fri 30-Oct-09 16:45:35

I was on the train too, a long journey so had packed snacks you're not really that limited if you pack something in advance surely?

Jajas Fri 30-Oct-09 16:46:08

Totally out of order to throw psp on the floor. I would have confiscated it and given him some stale bread and water to boot, chocolate my a* grin!

gorionine Fri 30-Oct-09 16:46:21

Well, I do not quite agree with her reaction, but maybe it was the best option she had to avoid her DS screaming the train down, her trying to calm him down and ending up angry herself and ennoyed because everyone is looking at her with eyes saying "what a bad mother you are"

We do not know how she delt with the situation once she was at home with her DS.

Ohforfoxsake Fri 30-Oct-09 16:49:28

I don't really understand why you would be miffed though. She didn't deal with it the way you would have. So what?

NormaSknockers Fri 30-Oct-09 16:51:06

So it's ok to act like that when out to avoid a fuss?

hercules1 Fri 30-Oct-09 16:53:40

That's why I hate going on trains. People sitting in judgement watching you parent fractious children.

junglist1 Fri 30-Oct-09 16:54:49

Sounds like my 6 year old. He has my temper. I would've shouted and taken it off him for a long time. That mum is **** a * for her own **

Northernlurker Fri 30-Oct-09 16:54:52

No it's ok to deal with YOUR child in the way YOU wish. Which is exactly what this poor woman was doing - it didn't impact on you at all and you know nothing about this child - why exactly are you so down on her?

Ohforfoxsake Fri 30-Oct-09 16:56:17

Act like what? She reassured him, helped him and gave his a treat. OK, you think this is rewarding his behaviour, she might just be getting through the journey with as least fuss as possible.

I'd have probably done the same, because when DS1 gets frustrated and reacts angrily. I wish he didn't, but he does. Doesn't make him a bad child, he's used to achieving high but is doubly hard on himself when he doesn't.

I find your judgement of her and the way she dealt with the situation worse to be honest. You would have reprimanded your child and given them a bit of cheese presumably.

Helloall Fri 30-Oct-09 16:56:46

I think its hard to judge. You don't know anything about where they had been. Often parents do this when there is something larger going on. Maybe they were visiting sick grandparent? Maybe the boys parents just got separated? Maybe they have just moved area. Or maybe she was nursing a severe hangover?

Train journeys can be a headache. Maybe they'd spent several hours in a car too.

NormaSknockers Fri 30-Oct-09 16:57:07

No, not sitting judgement just suprised that's all. I have no choice but to travel on trains, I can't drive so the only way I can get about is on the train - DD has thrown more then a few strops on the train through tiredness/boredom etc etc & I've had my fair share of stares & muttered comments but that's life. We were all children once, we all threw paddys at one time or another - I just wouldn't personally let DD throw a very expensive item on the floor in a huff & be ok with it but that's just me

hercules1 Fri 30-Oct-09 16:59:03

Of course you were sitting in judgement hmm

wicked Fri 30-Oct-09 16:59:09

The child probably needs help with his temper, but confronting him on the train about this is not the right place.

I think the only thing the mum did wrong (in retrospect) is leaving him in frustration for so long that he threw his game.

NormaSknockers Fri 30-Oct-09 16:59:43

Yes I probably would have given DD cheese, or raisins, or a banana - what's wrong with that?

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