is it unreasonable

[illgetyoubutler]

to want to feed my son (3 weeks) a bottle of formula milk a night, in the hope it will help him settle and sleep at night, and be awake during the day?

[ReneRusso]

3 weeks is a bit soon to be getting into any kind of sensible routine. I wouldn't say it is unreasonable, but I wouldn't do it.

[whoooooisasking]

I'm don't know about unreasonable, more deluded TBH!

[BunnyLebowski]

Yes it is completely unreasonable.

You cannot seriously expect a 3 week old baby to fit into your ideal routine .

Let him feed and sleep whenever he needs to.

[Bathsheba]

Depends how committed you are to BFing...

Nothing "wrong" with giving him a bottle of formula at any time (however do be very prepared that its unlikely to have the effect you want at that age), however if BFing is important to you then its advisable not to do that.

[illgetyoubutler]

so how can i encourage him to be awake at day and sleeping better at night?
when he does sleep during the day, i place him by a window or at the very least, he's in a bright room. we dont tip toe around him, we carry on as usual.
i have a 19month old toddler to entertain during the day, and i think im starting to feel the strain! im worried because, he is just 3 weeks old, and i feel already im not doing a very good job.
if i could just get him to sleep better at night, meaning that i can get some sleep, then id feel better equipped to see through the day.

[ImSoNotTelling]

I have a baby and a toddler too illgetyoubutler, and it is hard. Unfortunately I dont think they are even supposed to know the difference between day and night until they are older than 3 weeks (can't remember quite when though). Let alone sleep through.

I'm not surprised you are tired and getting desperate. Do you have any help at home? How does your 19mo sleep?

I am sure people will have lots of ideas about how to try and make things easier, but I dont think sleeping through the night is at all realistic at this stage, sorry.

[Stigaloid]

er - he is 3 weeks - they eat they sleep - that is what they do. Let him sleep fgs - he will wake up slowly overtime as he gets older. Remind yourself that the first 12 weeks of a newborn's life is the fourth trimester.

If you need more rest ask your partner to help out more at night. Get him to do a 7pm/10pm feed (EBM or formula) and you go to bed early and get up at 2am.

[illgetyoubutler]

very little help here. no family near at all. (recently moved to a new city)in fact i fell out with my mum a while back and even though we speak now, things just arnt the same anyway.
think ill ask OH to do an evening feed, thats a good idea, not sure why i didnt think of that and why he never suggested
if iu can at least get 4 hours id be so happy. i cant remember my DD being like this, and i was told after a couple of weeks, my DS will have slotted into a routine alongside all of us. never heard of a "fourth trimester!"

[ChunkyMonkeysMum]

illgetyoubutler - I think you should try whatever you feel may help you. If that means giving him a bottle of formula milk at night, then try it.

What time does your 19 mo go to bed? Is it at all possible that just for a few nights, you could go to bed at the same time & leave the baby with your OH with a couple of bottles of EBM (or formula )? That way, you will hopefully feel more refreshed for the night feeds.

[diddl]

Do you get the chance to sleep in the day at all?

That´s how I coped initially-sleeping when I could!

[Firawla]

there's nothing wrong with it if you want to give it a try, up to you. would be quite ott of people to call you unreasonable for it, although i dont think it will magically get him to sleep through

[ImSoNotTelling]

Agree with chunkymonkey that OH giving a bottle while you get a very early night would be a big help.

My toddler doesn't nap - I don't know if your does - if so any chance of trying to get some kip then?

[TheBlairSnitchProject]

If you can, I would try to express the bottle for the feed your OH does though.

You could potentially cause problems with your milk supply by supplementing his early.

[illgetyoubutler]

sorry for typos, am holding baby! yep will definatly try the bottle to give my OH.
Cant always nap when my DD takes her nap as there is no guarantee my DS will be asleep during that specific time - like now! just put her to bed, came downstairs, and he has woken up!
my OH has offered to sleep downstairts for some nights a week as he did last night. when he does this, i can share the bed with the baby, and can at least snooze during the times he feeds from me, as i can lie down and feed. dont like to do this when OH is in the bed as i worry OH may squash him whilst he sleeps. got some sleep lastnight, i feel alot better and quite refreshed!

[apostropheisback]

I'd go for whatever works

But like the others said, 3wo is a bit early for what you want, and at least by bfing at night you'll get back to sleep quicker (can just roll over, grab child, feed, put child back in cot, sleep)

[ImSoNotTelling]

Glad things are looking up butler sounds like you and your DH are v sensible and will be able to find a way through it all.

[Bumblingbovine]

Do a combination of early nights some nights (wuth your dh giving an evening feed of ebm or formula) and some nights co-sleeping if your dh doesn't want to sleep on the sofa every night. Whatever gets you the next few weeks.

A bottle a day or every other day is very unlikely to intefer with your supply if the feeding is generally going OK without too many problems especially if you are feeding him quite a bit at night.

Dh used to give a a bottle every evening at this age so i could go to bed early and I was still feeding him at least 9-11 times a day myslf (I kept a record of when I fed in the first few weeks and still have it)

I would warn you though that at this age my ds took the bottle or ebm with no problem but by 6-8 weeks old he was refusing the bottle because I only gave him one a day and he obviously preferred me .

Dh never really got him to successfully take more than a few sips from that odd bottle again after about 8 weeks old though I kept trying for a while so I could go to bed early and get 3-4 hours sleep in a row.

I also co-slept (would take ds to bed after his first wake-up which was usually around 12pm but I never manged to get any sleep with him in the bed and he woke constantly so I was awake constantly.