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to wonder why colleagues feel they have the right to pry into your reproductive plans?

(9 Posts)
ClaireDeLoon Thu 29-Oct-09 15:38:50

This morning I had a semi-appraisal. I'm quite senior at work and it wasn't very formal, we just discussed the impact of the financial market turmoil on my area of work etc. It was fine.

This afternoon a male colleague (the same level as me in my department) was prying into what we had discussed and said

'so did they ask when you were going to go off and have a baby'

Am I being unreasonable to think women actually shouldn't have to put up with shit like this? It's none of his business whether I take maternity leave or not. He's said stuff in the past 'I think you should have a baby and have a year off' etc. Does he see me as competition and he's trying to get me out of the way or something?

It's all worse because I currently am pregnant but having a hard time with bleeding etc and have a scan booked tomorrow and am fearing the worst. He couldn't have chosen a worse time to make his pathetic comments. It's particularly galling as a few months ago he told me his wife had just miscarried (their first) and I was very concerned and sympathetic etc as you naturally would be. Yet he hasn't got the brains or sensitivity to think about the questions he's asking of others.

hmmm that was a rant wasn't it blush

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Thu 29-Oct-09 15:39:31

Grrr.. moron.


PeppermintCream Thu 29-Oct-09 15:54:17

YANBU hope you have reassuring news at the scan tomorrow.

MyGoldenNotebook Thu 29-Oct-09 15:57:15

I hate those kind of questions too. People in work often ask if / when I am having another and I get all flustered (the honest answer is that I don't know if or when!) especially when my Head of Department is in the room!

By the way I bled quite a lot early on in pregnancy, so did my friend (even being admitted to hopsital at one point) - both babies absolutely fine.

Good Luck xx

thesecondcocking Thu 29-Oct-09 16:05:36

i hope all goes well with your scan and your baby.
if it was a manager i'd be more pissed off but it sounds like a typical dickhead man-he's probably shitting himself about his job going and trying to sow the seeds in anyone in authority's mind.
what a supertwat-good luck tomorrow

diddl Thu 29-Oct-09 16:57:47

I guess it was a "throw away comment",although not good considering what his wife has been through.

But no,it shouldn´t be anyone´s concern if you are TTC, or whatever.

All the best for tomorrow.

Heated Thu 29-Oct-09 17:01:41

Do you have a nice view from your desk? It does sound from what you describe as if he's eyeing up the job or sees you as competition.

Or maybe he thinks he's making supportive chat and can "relate".

Best wishes for the scan tomorrow.

prettyfly1 Thu 29-Oct-09 17:10:31

Firstly - been where you are re: bleeding - good luck with the scan. Secondly - what an idiot - perhaps he is trying to "identify" with you but doing it badly??

ClaireDeLoon Thu 29-Oct-09 17:14:22

Thank you all for kind comments am consoling myself with the thought I don't have to see him until Monday now and also a packet of minstrels

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