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AIBU?

to want to report Mr & Mrs Pontipine to Social Services?

66 replies

EdgarAllenPoo · 28/10/2009 20:00

They left all their children up a tree again. And they make them wear exactly the same clothes all the time. I think they are part of some weird religious cult - WWYD?

I am worried that it is only a matter of time before all their little girls are sent next door for an arranged marriage with the Wattinger boys.

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purpleturtle · 28/10/2009 20:06

YANBU

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purpleturtle · 28/10/2009 20:07

Would a Pontypine/Wattinger alliance produce purple offspring?

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JackBauWooohooohoowaaer · 28/10/2009 20:08

You haven't mentioned them feeding their children 'runny grobbles' while they have what look like ice cream sundaes.
And forcing them to do some strange pagan dance thing in the front garden that possibly summons the HaaHoos.
Or something.

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EdgarAllenPoo · 28/10/2009 20:17

Would a Pontypine/Wattinger alliance produce purple offspring?

ah..maybe they'd prodce 'Pillingers' or 'Wattypines' ..

but i think it may be part of a breeding programme to produce chidren in the perfect shade of purple, true. DO you think that all four girls will be married to all four boys in a group marriage thing?

v.v. concerned, poor litle mites.

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EdgarAllenPoo · 28/10/2009 20:20

And forcing them to do some strange pagan dance thing in the front garden that possibly summons the HaaHoos.
Or something

i often feel that Morris Dancing is (as Wilde himself said) one of those things you do not even need to do once...(alongside incest). I think it may be a fertility ritual .Indeed you are right, there nutrional values are very suspect, as is the fact they only give their children spoons to eat with. How will they cope in the real world?

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VineGruesomeTits · 28/10/2009 20:21

YABU at least they have parents and a home

Poor makapaka sleeps in a cave, and iggle piggle sleeps on a boat where are their parents eh?

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RainBOOJelly · 28/10/2009 20:25

TBH, I'm rather concerned about upsy daisy.... she's far too sexually aware if you ask me. Jumping into iggle piggle's bed.... kissing them all, makes you wonder what her parents are teaching her at home

and the noises she makes too....
one can only assume her parents have a rather wide variety of porn dvds.

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BalloonSlayer · 28/10/2009 20:28

JackBauer one of our books says that the parents have "raspberries and cream and the children have runny grobbles" for dinner.

Parents ensuring they eat luxury goods while your children are forced to forage for what sounds like lumpy bodily fluids are definitely cause for concern in my book.

Whatever the diet, it seems to produce flatulence, which is alienating in [adult] society.

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Doodleydoo · 28/10/2009 20:34

YANBU, they are always losing those children! Funny how the Wottingers never lose their children and yet the Pontipine parents always seem to be sneering at them!

I too am worried about the porn collection in the parents of upsy daisy and the fact that her influence has obviously rubbed off on dd who runs up to all the boys and kisses them.....

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EdgarAllenPoo · 28/10/2009 20:36

Poor makapaka sleeps in a cave,

do you think his feelings of abondonment have cause his Obsessive Compulsive disorder? He can't go anywhere without soap, feels compelled to set things in order, and hugs a stone in his bed!

and iggle piggle sleeps on a boat

I have a theory that Iggle Piggle is much older than he looks, and is in fact a war veteran. This would account for the metal jingling in his leg. Though this gives me grave concern for his relationship with Upsy-Daisy.

do you think he is >whispers< grooming her?

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Doodleydoo · 28/10/2009 20:37

EAP funniest thing have read all day.

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KEAWYED · 28/10/2009 20:43

I thought you were talking about porcupines at first very confused.

Its been a loooong day!!

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EdgarAllenPoo · 28/10/2009 20:58

Funny how the Wottingers never lose their children and yet the Pontipine parents always seem to be sneering at them

they are very very judgey. They smile and wave, but its through gritted teeth...

crap, you don't think Mrs Pontipine is on Mumsnet, do you?

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EdgarAllenPoo · 28/10/2009 21:00

@Keawyed long day here too. Time to go to bed.

wait a minute....

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BalloonSlayer · 28/10/2009 21:01

And they all sleep in the same bedroom.

How are more pontipines conceived without subjecting existing pontipines to viewing . . . erm . . . yes, well, . . . adult activites?

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EdgarAllenPoo · 28/10/2009 21:04

@Balloonslayer -

i wonder if that isn't the purpose of all the long walks they go on. the children always get lost. It seems to be more than carelessness on the part of Mr & Mrs Pontipine. And Mr Pontipine has a moustache. Makes him a perv in my book. I think this has traumatised the little pontipines so much they accept it, no wonder they resorted to sleeping in Upsy Daisy's bed...as a refuge.

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yummycrumpet · 28/10/2009 21:07

I'm all for having ten children if you can actually look after them properly- Mr and Mrs Pontipine never seem to know where their (many) small children are- they always seem to be hiding in trees or behind plantpots.......actually I wonder whether they are trying to run away from neglectful parents and overcrowded home??? Hmmmm.... I'd call the social!!

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LissyGlitter · 28/10/2009 21:10

:D I was thinking this myself today! Why is it that Mr and Mrs Pontipine HAVE to go home at a certain time, with or without the children? I'm thinking they are tagged.

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LissyGlitter · 28/10/2009 21:12

balloon i always assumed the kids were octuplets, they all seem the same size anyway...although what are the chances of two sets of neighbours having a set of octuplets each of approx the same age?

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ChickandDuck · 28/10/2009 21:14

hilarious

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HouseOfHorrorMum · 28/10/2009 21:14

AIBU to expect the Ninky Nonk to run on time?
Multiple Births: 8 children, one roomed house - how would you cope?

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BalloonSlayer · 28/10/2009 21:20

They all seem to have speech problems too

Me-me-me-me-me (Solipsism?) plus blowing of raspberries makes me wonder whether the SALT is involved.

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EdgarAllenPoo · 28/10/2009 21:22

AIBU to expect the Ninky Nonk to run on time?

do you see a Connex logo on the side??

if not, YANBU.

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slipperthief · 28/10/2009 21:22

It's only a matter of time before one of them gets stuck in the chimney.

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ilikeyoursleeves · 28/10/2009 21:23

The thing I was most concerned about is when they all went for a picnic and Mr & Mrs Pontipine made the children carry the huge dining table (which was topped with said picnic) while they ambled along looking at flowers through Mrs P's binoculars.

Terrible.

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