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to want to report Mr & Mrs Pontipine to Social Services?

(67 Posts)
EdgarAllenPoo Wed 28-Oct-09 20:00:48

They left all their children up a tree again. And they make them wear exactly the same clothes all the time. I think they are part of some weird religious cult - WWYD?

I am worried that it is only a matter of time before all their little girls are sent next door for an arranged marriage with the Wattinger boys.

purpleturtle Wed 28-Oct-09 20:06:27


purpleturtle Wed 28-Oct-09 20:07:49

Would a Pontypine/Wattinger alliance produce purple offspring?

JackBauWooohooohoowaaer Wed 28-Oct-09 20:08:40

You haven't mentioned them feeding their children 'runny grobbles' while they have what look like ice cream sundaes.
And forcing them to do some strange pagan dance thing in the front garden that possibly summons the HaaHoos.
Or something.

EdgarAllenPoo Wed 28-Oct-09 20:17:49

Would a Pontypine/Wattinger alliance produce purple offspring?

ah..maybe they'd prodce 'Pillingers' or 'Wattypines' ..

but i think it may be part of a breeding programme to produce chidren in the perfect shade of purple, true. DO you think that all four girls will be married to all four boys in a group marriage thing?

v.v. concerned, poor litle mites.

EdgarAllenPoo Wed 28-Oct-09 20:20:20

And forcing them to do some strange pagan dance thing in the front garden that possibly summons the HaaHoos.
Or something

i often feel that Morris Dancing is (as Wilde himself said) one of those things you do not even need to do once...(alongside incest). I think it may be a fertility ritual .Indeed you are right, there nutrional values are very suspect, as is the fact they only give their children spoons to eat with. How will they cope in the real world?

VineGruesomeTits Wed 28-Oct-09 20:21:01

YABU at least they have parents and a home

Poor makapaka sleeps in a cave, and iggle piggle sleeps on a boat shock where are their parents eh?

RainBOOJelly Wed 28-Oct-09 20:25:54

TBH, I'm rather concerned about upsy daisy.... she's far too sexually aware if you ask me. Jumping into iggle piggle's bed.... kissing them all, makes you wonder what her parents are teaching her at home hmm

and the noises she makes too....
one can only assume her parents have a rather wide variety of porn dvds.


BalloonSlayer Wed 28-Oct-09 20:28:17

JackBauer one of our books says that the parents have "raspberries and cream and the children have runny grobbles" for dinner.

Parents ensuring they eat luxury goods while your children are forced to forage for what sounds like lumpy bodily fluids are definitely cause for concern in my book.

Whatever the diet, it seems to produce flatulence, which is alienating in [adult] society.

Doodleydoo Wed 28-Oct-09 20:34:47

YANBU, they are always losing those children! Funny how the Wottingers never lose their children and yet the Pontipine parents always seem to be sneering at them!

I too am worried about the porn collection in the parents of upsy daisy and the fact that her influence has obviously rubbed off on dd who runs up to all the boys and kisses them.....shock

EdgarAllenPoo Wed 28-Oct-09 20:36:25

Poor makapaka sleeps in a cave,

do you think his feelings of abondonment have cause his Obsessive Compulsive disorder? He can't go anywhere without soap, feels compelled to set things in order, and hugs a stone in his bed!

and iggle piggle sleeps on a boat

I have a theory that Iggle Piggle is much older than he looks, and is in fact a war veteran. This would account for the metal jingling in his leg. Though this gives me grave concern for his relationship with Upsy-Daisy.

do you think he is >whispers< grooming her?

Doodleydoo Wed 28-Oct-09 20:37:39

EAP grin funniest thing have read all day.

KEAWYED Wed 28-Oct-09 20:43:07

I thought you were talking about porcupines at first very confused.

Its been a loooong day!! blush

EdgarAllenPoo Wed 28-Oct-09 20:58:52

Funny how the Wottingers never lose their children and yet the Pontipine parents always seem to be sneering at them

they are very very judgey. They smile and wave, but its through gritted teeth...

crap, you don't think Mrs Pontipine is on Mumsnet, do you?

EdgarAllenPoo Wed 28-Oct-09 21:00:28

@Keawyed grin long day here too. Time to go to bed.

wait a minute....

BalloonSlayer Wed 28-Oct-09 21:01:11

And they all sleep in the same bedroom.

How are more pontipines conceived without subjecting existing pontipines to viewing . . . erm . . . yes, well, . . . adult activites?

EdgarAllenPoo Wed 28-Oct-09 21:04:22

@Balloonslayer -

i wonder if that isn't the purpose of all the long walks they go on. the children always get lost. It seems to be more than carelessness on the part of Mr & Mrs Pontipine. And Mr Pontipine has a moustache. Makes him a perv in my book. I think this has traumatised the little pontipines so much they accept it, no wonder they resorted to sleeping in Upsy Daisy's a refuge.

yummycrumpet Wed 28-Oct-09 21:07:14

I'm all for having ten children if you can actually look after them properly- Mr and Mrs Pontipine never seem to know where their (many) small children are- they always seem to be hiding in trees or behind plantpots.......actually I wonder whether they are trying to run away from neglectful parents and overcrowded home??? Hmmmm.... I'd call the social!!

LissyGlitter Wed 28-Oct-09 21:10:23

:D I was thinking this myself today! Why is it that Mr and Mrs Pontipine HAVE to go home at a certain time, with or without the children? I'm thinking they are tagged.

LissyGlitter Wed 28-Oct-09 21:12:14

balloon i always assumed the kids were octuplets, they all seem the same size anyway...although what are the chances of two sets of neighbours having a set of octuplets each of approx the same age?

ChickandDuck Wed 28-Oct-09 21:14:09



HouseOfHorrorMum Wed 28-Oct-09 21:14:12

AIBU to expect the Ninky Nonk to run on time?
Multiple Births: 8 children, one roomed house - how would you cope?

BalloonSlayer Wed 28-Oct-09 21:20:03

They all seem to have speech problems too

Me-me-me-me-me (Solipsism?) plus blowing of raspberries makes me wonder whether the SALT is involved.

EdgarAllenPoo Wed 28-Oct-09 21:22:03

AIBU to expect the Ninky Nonk to run on time?

do you see a Connex logo on the side??

if not, YANBU.

slipperthief Wed 28-Oct-09 21:22:30

It's only a matter of time before one of them gets stuck in the chimney.

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