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To be a bit surprised DD's friends dad was offended at this?

(37 Posts)
dilemma456 Wed 28-Oct-09 17:43:21

Message withdrawn

LisaD1 Wed 28-Oct-09 17:46:11

How odd! If your DD was 14 then I would say she was rude but she's 4!! It sounds to me like she's just curious and wasn't rude, just inquisitive. My DH's father is Indian and I remember when he first met DD1 who was about 4 too and she asked him how he could be my hubby's dad when his skin was brown! He laughed and tried his best to explain, he wasn't offended, she was just asking, how else do they learn?

Jujubean77 Wed 28-Oct-09 17:49:29

That sounds a bit odd on his part - surely he should be happy to educate a curious child on reasons behind things.

Sounds very mean tbh...

SolidGhoulBrass Wed 28-Oct-09 17:52:24

H sounds a bit up himself. 4 year olds do ask questions that, from older children and NT adults would be nosy and rude, but when they are little, children dont understand things like taboo and culture and are not good at reading the signals that someone is getting a bit hurt or offended. DOn't worry about it.

edam Wed 28-Oct-09 17:52:24

Sounds as if he was having an off day. Presumably this friend is also four so the dad should know what developmental stage 4yos are at?

2shoescreepingthroughblood Wed 28-Oct-09 17:52:38

he was bing silly

Astrid28 Wed 28-Oct-09 17:53:14

It's a good chance to teach children about another culture. Even if she'd been 20 what she said wasn't actually offensive.

What a misog.

OscarByTheSea Wed 28-Oct-09 18:53:22

She sounds like a sweet, curious four year old girl to me. Nothing offensive at all IMO.

dilemma456 Wed 28-Oct-09 18:56:27

Message withdrawn

Louby3000 Wed 28-Oct-09 18:57:29

He waS being a bit sensitive i think. whats the problem, innocent child asking questions so she understands why he wears a turban. He is educating her to his religious/cultural ways. Odd.
but Astrid why do you call him a misog??

junglist1 Wed 28-Oct-09 18:58:48

He needs to get a grip. Some kid said to their mum on the tube today "why is that man wearing earrings mummy" meaning ME (was in tracksuit and have short hair but it was styled all volume and choppy etc) and was I offended? YES, but your DD's question wasn't bad at all.

Firawla Wed 28-Oct-09 19:20:22

must have been having a bad day... its normal for small children to ask qs like that and i dont think your dd was rude or anything. if they say something like "your turbans is stupid" then that would have been different and at that age they can know not to say that, but asking an innocent q shouldnt be a problem

busybutterfly Wed 28-Oct-09 19:26:12

dilemma think his daughter's question was ruder, can you think of something really offensive and even the scores up? grin

KERALA1 Wed 28-Oct-09 19:35:36

He needs to lighten up, children are inquisitive.

At the local primary school a Muslim imam came in to talk to the children about Islam. When he had finished he asked if anyone had any questions. A 4 year old put his hand up and asked "have you ever had fleas" (apparently his cat had fleas and he was obsessed by them and was asking everybody). The imam had to leave the room he was laughing so much. No way did he take offence.

thegirlwiththecurl Wed 28-Oct-09 19:40:07

agree that your dd certainly didn't ask anything out of the ordinary for her age and either he was being a little silly or having an off day.
I have been asked several times by young children about the colour of my skin - am 1/2 indian in a pred. white area. No bother. Was asked once by a 7yr old 'why are you a Paki?'. Did take offense at that because of the language used, but that is clearly not what happened here.

morningpaper Wed 28-Oct-09 19:40:27

haha @ his DD asking if you were fat

your DD sounds bright and curious and her questions are quite natural

Mamazonabroomstick Wed 28-Oct-09 19:46:42

i think it was a fantastic opportunity to inform her about his religion and itsmore common traditions.

I don't think it unreasonable for a 4 year old to ask such questions at all.

littleducks Wed 28-Oct-09 19:50:05

how many questions did your dd ask? did he get fed up with lots and lots?

saggyhairyarse Wed 28-Oct-09 20:56:14

This is such an excellent sketch about people being offended:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAGJpISVERg

loobylu3 Wed 28-Oct-09 21:10:24

I think your DD sounds really sweet. Maybe he has been bullied/ subjected to racist remarks in the past and it touched a raw nerve. I really wouldn't worry about it

HerBewitcheditude Wed 28-Oct-09 21:25:10

It seems that it was the My Little Pony reference that offended him the most.

Maybe he just doesn't like My little pony? grin

edam Wed 28-Oct-09 22:31:32

Fantastic link, saggy!

SolidGhoulBrass Wed 28-Oct-09 22:51:49

That Steve Hughes bloke is brilliant.

And I'd shag him.

saggyhairyarse Wed 28-Oct-09 23:16:22

An intelligent man with a sense of humour is an attractive thing! Embarrassingly, I used to fancy Ben Elton when he was on Friday/Saturday Night Live!

I love Steve Hughes too wink

edam Wed 28-Oct-09 23:17:15

What, even with the trademark sparkly suit? grin

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