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to expect DH to be able to deal with a simple task without effing it up ?

(24 Posts)
Fibilou Tue 27-Oct-09 11:26:24

The nursery we have chosen for DD (who isn't even born yet) is massively oversubscribed and we got a phone call last Monday saying we needed to get our registration form and fees in urgently. I completed it, filled out the cheques, wrote a covering letter and left it with husband with instructions to post it by hand at the school. I told him categorically not to post it due to the postal strike.
Hubs decided he couldn't be bothered to drive to the school and posted it despite being told clearly not to.
I have now had an email from the bursar asking if we have sent the form yet as they are getting anxious that they haven't received it. There is a huge pile of applications for November 2010.
So it looks as though we won't get our place there, just because DH couldn't be f*cked to drive half a mile out of his way on the way to work to deliver the bloody thing by hand.
I am spitting teeth, this is the only nursery in the area that does the hours we require, and it is very competitively priced.
Why can they not just f*cking do as they are asked, as they are asked without doing what they feel like and making a cock up ?

diddl Tue 27-Oct-09 11:28:42

Well, you´d think that it wouldn´t have been beyond him.

But I am shock that you have to give money more than a year in advance.

Fibilou Tue 27-Oct-09 11:40:00

Private schools for you ! They have the best nursery round here by far, most competitive prices (£43 for 8am - 6pm including food) but you have to shell out £180 in advance !

fledtoscotland Tue 27-Oct-09 12:34:18

YANBU to expect him to drop it off in person given the postal strikes but tbh i really dont get the idea of registering a child for a nursery before they are even born.

Admittedly it is 10yrs+ since I last lived in the South East but in Scotland, you just view nurseries, see what you like the look of, see if they have places and then arrange for child to start. I organized DCs nursery about a month before they started.

marenmj Tue 27-Oct-09 13:17:45

Where are you fibilou? We are just south of London and nursery here is £45/day + £900 deposit (ouch - thankfully half up front and the rest spread over the first three months)

We didn't register before DD was born though. We would have been stuffed as we live in a different town now than when I was pg.

Stayingscarygirl Tue 27-Oct-09 13:18:04

All you wanted him to do was to listen to what you said, understand the importance, and do as you asked him to. Not unreasonable expectations, but if your dh is anything like mine - definitely unrealistic ones, Fibilou.

What's more, when my dh has failed to hear what I said to him and has cocked up whatever important thing needed doing, I'm not allowed to be cross about this, otherwise he gets the arseache a bit cross with me. angry

marenmj Tue 27-Oct-09 13:21:44

To answer the op grin

My DH is capable of listening to, and agreeing with something I've said and then forgetting it mere minutes later.

So yes, YABU. Pin a note to his shirt and if he objects tell him he will be redeemed once he can remember such things.

(though, for us DH has started to get better wrt DD - that does not mean he doesn't do things like send DD to nursery in SHORTS in the middle of Oct, with spare shorts in her bag, because I've told him that she has a hard time crawling in dresses <bless him, he tries>)

hannahsaunt Tue 27-Oct-09 13:22:39

Where are you fledtoscotland? Where I am in the north east nurseries had already filled their baby places 18mo hence when I was looking for ds1 at 20wks pregnant. I am 24wks with db4 and got the form yesterday to secure a place for Nov 2010. Pretty common experience round these parts.

fledtoscotland Tue 27-Oct-09 13:27:33

Hannahsaunt - am just outside Glasgow. We had to find a new nursery when DH went back to uni (his last employer had a subsidised nursery onsite which was fab and I still miss it). I looked at 3 nurseries for the boys (aged 1 & 2), all had places and I just chose the one I wanted, gave £100 that was deducted off 1st months bill and that was it. Of the nurseries I was interested in, only 1 didn't have space in the baby room. I saw the nurseries in Feb and the boys started in March this year.

Bramshott Tue 27-Oct-09 13:31:45

Can you not drop off another cheque, and then ask them to tear up the original when it shows up?

mamas12 Tue 27-Oct-09 19:28:43

Well it's down to him to sort it then isn't it.
With either dropping off another cheque or staying at home to look after baby.

Fibilou Tue 27-Oct-09 19:49:30

I've dealt with it, just annoyed that DH's opinion that he knows better than me has led to a delay in getting papers in which may lead to us not getting a place..
Very helpfully he said today "it probably didn't go till Saturday what with the postal strike"

Yes you doughnut, why the EFF did you think I told you to put it in their letterbox ??

Fibilou Tue 27-Oct-09 19:51:50

lucky you FledtoScotland - all the decent nurseries round here have huge waiting lists - the one we've chosen are now looking at their September "intake" for 2010. If I left it till DD is born I'd either get no nursery or one run by teenagers with fags hanging out of their mouths.

pania Tue 27-Oct-09 20:05:12

Reminds me of that old Larson cartoon "What we say to dogs".. I bet all he heard you say was "blah blah blah LETTER blah blah blah" and was quite proud of himself fro posting it.

I have actually gone so far as to make dh repeat back to me things I've asked him to do (or not do), to make sure he paid attention. It's ridiculous isn't it. I mean he's an intelligent adult when he's not at home!

Fibilou Tue 27-Oct-09 21:39:00

"I bet all he heard you say was "blah blah blah LETTER blah blah blah" and was quite proud of himself fro posting it.
Nope, he definitely heard me because he argued the toss with me about it. And suggested I might like to walk the 5 mile round trip to put the letter in the box to save him the 5 minute detour on his drive to work (we only have the one car). You can imagine the response he got to that

Waswondering Tue 27-Oct-09 22:47:44

Dd was registered for nursery when I was 12 weeks pregnant - ie November 2005; she started nursery in May 2007. Not uncommon, especially as our nursery only has 10 baby spaces!

fledtoscotland Tue 27-Oct-09 22:52:34

Fibilou - hope your foot and his arse made contact after his last suggestion.

I am absolutely gobsmacked about having to register (& pay) for places before DC is even born. Our current nursery is very small with only 9 in the baby room which is why I love it. Makes me even more glad we now live in deepest darkest Scotland grin

Wonderstuff Tue 27-Oct-09 23:00:08

I would be livid too.

shergar Tue 27-Oct-09 23:01:29

YANBU. Complete mystery to me how men have ever managed to coordinate anything complicated, like invading another country, say. I bet they have women hidden in cupboards in the control room to remind them that they'll need to take some ammunition and a change of socks when they go over the top.

SolidGhoulBrass Tue 27-Oct-09 23:09:03

SIgh. It's his lovable little way of saying, 'You're the woman, menial shit is your problem, not mine. I have important things to think about, like my willy.'

junglist1 Wed 28-Oct-09 08:14:18

YABU for expecting a man to carry out a simple instruction. IME it's rare that it'll get done. So now you know

Fibilou Wed 28-Oct-09 08:28:58

PMSL @ Shergar grin

Stayingscarygirl Wed 28-Oct-09 09:50:37

Fled - I'm near Glasgow too - in Renfrewshire.

Stayingscarygirl Wed 28-Oct-09 09:53:53

When ds1 was 4, he needed a minor op, and was supposed to have a drink of clear fluids at 6am, then be nil by mouth for the op. Dh volunteered to get up with him and give him the drink, so I emphasised the clear fluids bit of the instruction.

When I got up, dh proudly told me how he'd given ds1 a big drink of milk, to sustain him through the time when he'd not be allowed to eat or drink. Milk is not a clear fluid, and needs digesting before an anaesthetic can be given, so I had to tell the anaesthetist when we got to the hospital, and instead of ds1 being first on the list, and back in bed by 10am, he was last on the list and didn't go down to Theatre until after midday - so I had a long and stressful wait with an increasingly hungry and cross ds1. I was not best pleased.

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