to be annoyed that dd aged 16 is slagging me off on facebook .......

[asdx2]

When she has no privacy settings and as far as I knew we haven't had a minor dispute never mind a row in months?
Is it her age? Should I pretend I haven't seen it or should I comment? Is it attention seeking? Should I mail her a link to this thread ?

[TeamAlesha]

If it were me I would have to put some kind of sarky comment

Get her privacy settings sorted though FGS

[WartoScreamo]

teenage girls are evil! I'd keep it to myself so you can still see if she is plotting any mischief.

[QuintessentialShadowsOfDoom]

No.
You should remove her computer privileges.
I can't believe you find this a joking matter. You are being made a total fool of, by your own daughter. Neither of you seem to have any sense. Link to this thread? You must be farking joking. You are slagging off your dd online, so what would that achieve?

[pinkfizzle]

YANBU at all -

Even if it is her age - I would tell her that you have seen it and ask her why she is putting you down.

Oh and imo - you really need to chat to her and let her know the dangers of having no privacy settings on facebook - identity theft - weirdos being able to access info.

Good luck

[posieparksherbroom]

Totally normal, I would tell her how offended you are as a human being not just her Mum. A proper telling off will just make her cross with you, I would make her feel really guilty and use it as an opportunity to teach her about internet safety and talking about people.

Mothers that think their teens are not bitching about them are deluded.

[electra]

Really I would not be bothered if she's just having a moan. She's probably just saying what she would to her friends in RL. But I think I would be more concerned if she's broadcasting your private matters and giving away confidential information.

[asdx2]

I am more annoyed about the privacy settings tbh can put the rudeness down to teenage angst I suppose. We're off on a shopping trip today so her budget has just been cut substantially {wink]

[hercules1]

I agree about being annoyed about the privacy settings. I would tell her that she has none - that would be enough I'm sure to make her realise you'd seen and quickly change them. I wouldnt be fussed about what she said as that's pretty normal.
APparently according to ds's msn (it keeps popping up on our main pc and cant get rid of it), I made some shitty meatballs for his tea the other night after I'd spent hours using Jamie olivers recipe to make them. ( I dont cook ever, so this was a big deal that I'd cooked!).
I thanked him for his comments the next day and asked him again to get rid of the sodding msn from our pc.

[asdx2]

thesecondcoming pretty mild in the grand scheme of things. Just pointing out very few friends on facebook (only have an account to check that she and my others are keeping safe tbh) and that as I am over forty and have five children then I am so obviously past it I should be consigned to a geriatric ward [hmmm]
It was a bit of a shock to see that her account was public so I read what she said and although mild and I am not deluded enough to think that she never moans about me it just seemed like an attack for no reason as we generally get on well or so I thought.
I can smile about being referred to as "the mother" but the last comments are unnecessary.

[ParanoidAtAllTimes]

I remember saying similar things about my mother when I was 16...the difference being that it wasn't broadcast over the Internet!!

I doubt she means it- she's probably trying to be funny/cool in front of her friends. I bet she'd feel really guilty if she knew you knew.

Agreed about not getting angry- making her feel guilty by subtly mentioning the lack of privacy settings is the way to go IMO.

[ParanoidAtAllTimes]

x post

[happystory]

This is why I don't like Facebook. This is why I told the kids not to add my mother (!) and sister in law as friends, I didn't want them knowing every little thing the kids had been up to then taking it up with ME!

Ds left his laptop open and one of his female friends had a 'header'or whatever it's called, saying 'F* me, I'm gonna kill myself' Aghast I said 'what's up with x?!' he said 'oh she's lost her house keys'

It doesn't sound that bad. You probably looked at her funny or something or hummed some really 'lame' song!

Let it go

[madamearcati]

She's 16. Slagging off her parents is her job !

[evaangel2]

I have a friend on FB, who I used to work with, she is 20

she is forever slagging her mother off on FB, it is so cringeworthy, it causes so many arguements between her and her brother, he writes comments like "Stop telling the F**king world" etc

she has over 1000 friends which I assume some are random and dont know her too well, I would be livid if my dd slagged me off on FB

[WebDude]

hercules1 - "asked him again to get rid of the sodding msn from our pc."

You're not alone - I've a client whose son (own PC in his bedroom, but no working mouse) seems to put MSN onto any machine he lays his hands on... Dad's PC, then the old laptop, then Mum's new laptop... they're sick of it too, and I just rename it (so msn.exe becomes msnx.exe and he gets "not found") but I've not gone as far {yet} as making www.msn.com fail to load completely on their PCs... but that's next if they get fed up again!

Certainly (on the issue of family squabbles {from no reason at all} being shared on FB) it does seem that privacy settings are a big issue, and stressed time and again - guy from Google said "OK, Google isn't a 'social network' but it is good at finding information" He said he'd impressed on his children not to put anything personal online, and that if they did it would turn up to blight their future career or university entrance...

Those drugs/booze parties, or nude pix on the beach, or whatever, are enough to block someone years later when they had put the activity out of their mind, hoping for some new job or entrance at a prestigious university...

Of course, there's also the possibility that some leave their FB pages open for anyone to rub in any "I've stolen X's BF/GF" and get some minor fun from it for a couple of weeks, exchanging snide remarks/threats.

[jemart]

YANBU - I would be furious if my dd did this to me.

[wicked]

She should have privacy settings. It is your job to make sure this happens.

As for slagging you off, I would cut her internet access.

You have to ask yourself, "who is the adult in this relationship?"

[asdx2]

I am definitely the adult in this relationship and it has been sorted.
Privacy settings are now on (there was nothing that could have identified her or us to anyone who didn't know us IYSWIM) She has been punished and I have had a heartfelt apology.
She is almost without exception a lovely girl who causes no bother and think she got a bit carried away joining in with a general gripe with her friends.
She knows I am disappointed in her which is far more effective here than an explosive row and should ensure that she will think twice about what she writes in future and the extra chores will be done well and without moaning