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aibu NOT to vote tory if they are going to give my mother in law rights over my children!!

(80 Posts)
howlatrubymoon Mon 26-Oct-09 11:20:44

I cant imagine the rows this would cause in our family!!!! grin

Surely the parents should be the only ones who ultimatley have care and control of their children.

I agree that if they give up those rights and the child ends up in care then the grandparents should be considered but no more than other close members of family ( and on a case by case basis)

cornsilk Mon 26-Oct-09 11:22:30

Tell me more. I don't know about this.

GypsyMoth Mon 26-Oct-09 11:23:03

Grandparents do already have some rights. And it's the DC that count, not your feelings or opinions about them

gorionine Mon 26-Oct-09 11:24:44

can youlink to anything? What exactly is it about?

Katisha Mon 26-Oct-09 11:26:19

I suspect that is the point Cherub...there are some very dodgy grandparent stories about on here, and some of them should definitely not be allowed to mess up their grandchildren in the way they messed up their own children...

Bucharest Mon 26-Oct-09 11:27:10

I didn't think grandparents had any rights in the UK?

OrmIrian Mon 26-Oct-09 11:27:19

Are they particularly fond of your MIL then?

Twinsmommy Mon 26-Oct-09 11:30:33

Here's a link...... es-together.html

It made me think, also!!!

Bucharest Mon 26-Oct-09 11:35:38

So, as I thought, they don't currently have any rights.

As you were.

howlatrubymoon Mon 26-Oct-09 11:36:09

Cant do links Im afraid as im a technophobe! It has been on the news and is on BBC website. Think it is mostly to do with when parents seperate and grand parents not getting to see children (all very sensible on the face of it but can see this being abused.)

I can see my mil rubbing her hands with glee (sees grandchildren two or three times a year - lives ten minute drive away - loves to tell me what i am doing wrong - her son can do no wrong!!) have been together nearly 20 years!

MmeGoblindt Mon 26-Oct-09 11:37:25

Well, I understand the misgivings of those who do not get on well with their parents or inlaws but at present grandparents have no rights whatsoever.

If my brother were to split up wiht his wife, then my parents (who have been very involved in my niece's life) would have no way of staying involved if my SIL did not like it.

It must be heartbreaking to not be allowed to contact your grandchildren.

scottishmummyofone Mon 26-Oct-09 11:39:15

I would hate for my MIL to have 'rights' over my DD. I have to force myself to see her regulary for DD's sake but I cannot stand the woman and her parenting style is very different to mine.

However, it seems that it will mostly be in the case of unfit parents and to ensure that GPs are first on the list when considering alternative carers...blah blah

howlatrubymoon Mon 26-Oct-09 11:39:16

Waiting for the phone call to let me know she will have rights soon dont you know wink

Astrid28 Mon 26-Oct-09 11:42:54

If children are lucky enough to have grandparents who wish to be involved in their lives, bringing a different view to the table, instilling a sense of respect for their elders as well as passing on other valuable life lessons, then this should definately be protected.

My PIL's irritate me from time to time, but I would never take away the fact that they're great grandparents. I don't know why anyone (other than in exceptional circumstances) would.

ChairmumMiaow Mon 26-Oct-09 11:45:00

A letter with my will expressly states I don't want my DS to have contact with my parents if something happened to DH and I. I'd be seriously worried if I thought there was some chance of my parents getting custody of a child they've never met.

I hope this is thought out properly if the tories get in

Morosky Mon 26-Oct-09 11:46:27

It seems fair enough to me

Bucharest Mon 26-Oct-09 11:52:25

Chairman- couldn't agree more.

A bit of shared DNA mustn't give rights to anyone. Even as parents our "rights" over our children should be earned.

diddl Mon 26-Oct-09 11:54:04

I do think that if grandparents have had regular access, then that should be kept up if possible if the parents split.

I also think that in some cases grandparents should be considered rather than foster care or other options should both parents die.

But I hope that doesn´t automatically become the case.

howlatrubymoon Mon 26-Oct-09 11:54:30

Not all grandparents are lovely.

The only people who will really benefit from this are solicitors.

MorrisZapp Mon 26-Oct-09 11:58:46

You'll be a grandparent one day. What if your son splits with his wife who never liked you, and you don't get to see your precious grandkids?

There's more to family life than mothers in law. One day that'll be you.

howlatrubymoon Mon 26-Oct-09 12:07:15

Well put morris, made me think! Still I think children need a mum and-or dad who are happy first.

Should anything happen to both myself and my dh my children will be looked after by my sister and bil - that is our choice and i dont see why the government should have the right to override our wishes. Stirring up a hornets nest I know!

TheLionesss Mon 26-Oct-09 12:12:39

It's just a ploy to encourage the grey vote. IN an ageing population, they will be a valuable assets when the election comes round.

These proposals will mean little to the average parent once the Tories are in power.

Ans there is not a cat in hell chance of MIL having any say over my dad's life. Even DH cannot bear to visit her, so why would we inflict her on poor dd?

TheLionesss Mon 26-Oct-09 12:13:51

sorry for typo's blush

LilyBolero Mon 26-Oct-09 12:16:03

I think on the whole it is a good thing - (said through gritted teeth, as hate the Tories!).

I can see several scenarios where it would be beneficial - if I had grandchildren and the marriage didn't last (either through divorce or death) I would hate to lose contact with grandchildren.

Similarly, in cases where children are taken away from their parents (and in some cases unfoundedly), if they could go to grandparents instead of being adopted out, the family can have some semblance of staying together.

LilyBolero Mon 26-Oct-09 12:16:51

Also, if something happened to me, I would like to think that my parents wouldn't lose contact with my kids, and this might help that.

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