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to think that if you have badly behaved children you shouldn't expect other parents to look out for their own?

(37 Posts)
StarlightMcKenzie Sat 24-Oct-09 22:33:39

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Firawla Sat 24-Oct-09 22:36:19

I think you probably could have managed the situation better, although she sounds too aggressive.I think as she said she was only trying to be nice, as in acknowledging her child's behaviour was not ideal and that as she did have an older one to watch at the same time she cant be both places at once. It seems she just didnt want to totally ignore the behaviour, and maybe to let you know if you need to tell off her dd its alright?

thelennox Sat 24-Oct-09 22:39:34

I think she was a complete pain - what was a 4 year old doing in the baby area anyway? Any place I have been to you have to be under 3!! I would have complained to be honest, but then I'm 20 weeks pregnant and very hormonal. Kind of thing that would tip me over the edge!! Tee hee.

Louby3000 Sat 24-Oct-09 22:40:29

Ooh dear, sounds hectic, in essence you were in the right, but maybe you could have clocked her for beng a bit of a gobby mare and siad somthing less inflammatory? What do you think, go back in time and say something different?

Vallhala Sat 24-Oct-09 22:40:44

YANBU. The woman was totally out of order.

She reckons she was trying to be nice???? I think not!

Good for you for ignoring the ignorant specimen.

Mamazonabroomstick Sat 24-Oct-09 22:41:19

i think she was trying to let you know that she was aware of her childs less than ideal behaviour and that she was sorry for it.

she was indeed very aggressive but i think that ws more a defense mechanism.

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 24-Oct-09 22:41:57

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iliketurquoise Sat 24-Oct-09 22:47:42

that lady was completely wrong, you were completely right.
and she wasnt nice. you dont have to watch hr child, she has to watch her.
why doesnt she keep her children together?
how can she say she would knock you out etc. you should complain about her.

bruces Sat 24-Oct-09 22:51:01

OP you were 100% right to say what you did I've never had the guts to say it when I've been in the same situation,it's so unfair when some parents expect you to babysit their children.Sorry that such a twat spoilt your day.

bosch Sat 24-Oct-09 22:56:01

It sounds a bit like a coded 'I won't be watching my child every second so please can you be vigilant' plea. She could have worded it better, but your response was, in that context, quite aggressive, although I appreciate you were completely in the right.

She maybe didn't realise that you were in the same position of having two children to wath over?

Finding a nice way to alert others to your child's less than perfect behaviour can be difficult.

bosch Sat 24-Oct-09 22:56:59

not wath, watch

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 24-Oct-09 23:05:18

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BobbingForPeachys Sat 24-Oct-09 23:12:41


tbh starlight you've got to can read i have to, in some peoples phraseology.

I thinki in a literal ay youre right, and she clearly was a nut, but it may well ahve been you didnt get the point she was making which could have been a friendly overtone phrased badly IYSWIM?

iliketurquoise Sat 24-Oct-09 23:15:18

even if you were more available, still she shouldnt ask to watch her child.

ShinyAndNew Sat 24-Oct-09 23:19:15

TBH I think I would have reported her to the staff.

Swearing in a childrens soft play area is completely unaccpetable.

OTOH you didn't need to be bitchy the first time she spoke to you. You both overreacted. Her more so.

SingleMum01 Sat 24-Oct-09 23:22:13

If she knows her child isnt good with babies, why is she letting it in the baby area? OK, I only have one DS, but I keep an eye out for him and any potential trouble - how else do they learn?

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 24-Oct-09 23:45:45

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iliketurquoise Sat 24-Oct-09 23:52:22

if she did prevent her child from hurting yrs before; then in this case you could say 'sorry, i cant, i have another child to look after, too'

allaboutme Sun 25-Oct-09 06:58:10

She sounds like a right pain with the aggression and the swearing but her first comment could have been meant in a friendly way and then she got defensive when you replied as you did.
'You've gotta watch DS, he's a nightmare with babies' is the sort of thing I could say in a friendly way to someone meaning 'A friendly word of warning about my DS. He's obsessed with babies' My DS is 4. not diagnosed with anything but he is possibly ASD. He loves the baby equipment and adores babies, especially tickling them, which could look like pushing to other mothers.
I can just imagine him 'helping' a toddler down the slide etc and if he was doing this and the baby wasnt getting upset or hurt then I wouldnt tell him off tbh.
I also have 20 month old to watch so need to be in 2 places at once!
I'd never swear at someone who said what you did to me though. I'd probably spend the next hour desperately trying to keep my DS away from you and then leave in tears!

FangedGhoulForTheMonstrosities Sun 25-Oct-09 07:17:50

There must be something about soft play places...DD was lying in the ball pool when we were on holiday (she is autistic) and a girl came down slide and nearly hit her.

The mother came running over and apologised, and I said "don't worry about it, she couldn't see her because she was lying down." (meaning DD)

As it was a slide which you lie down on she thought I meant her DD couldn't see mine and snapped really grumpily "well how else are you meant to go down a slide". She just seemed super-defensive.

It must bring that out in people.

Anyway, even though you were SLIGHTLY abrupt she sounds like a nutter, tbh.

tinkerbellesmuse Sun 25-Oct-09 07:18:20

I think you were being unreasonable to react to her original comment which sounds like it was made in a completely harmless "I am aware my child's behaviour is not up to scratch and I am sorry" type manner. I'm pretty sure she wasn't actually request that you look after her child whilst she sat around with her feet up.

However to then call you a bitch makes her VU - although I suspect she was reacting to your perceived aggression towards her.

Both sound like you need to calm down.

diddl Sun 25-Oct-09 08:55:03

Well,if her daughter is a monster with babies, I suggest she doesn´t take her to a baby/toddler play area!

Or,when she goes to look at her 8yr old, she takes her 4yr old with her.

madamearcati Sun 25-Oct-09 09:06:22

She is unreasonable , in fact downright disgusting to swear at you.
But YABU if you think you don't have to constantly supervise a 13m old baby at soft play !! Ok so a 4 yr old shouldn't have been in the toddler area , but they always are , if it wasn't this one it would be another.i can't believe you just sat and looked on while the child was being rough to your baby .Why didn't you (kindly) tell her not to or position yourself between your baby and the girl.Or at the very least pick your baby up and move her.

Goblinchild Sun 25-Oct-09 09:11:20

So you watch out for her child and discipline her as if she were yours.
Then the mother attacks you for daring to say/do anything that implies her child is anything but perfection incarnate.
There are numerous threads floating around here along the lines of 'WWYD' and AIBU about other adults saying things to your children, or you wondering whether to say anything about another parent's child.
Whatever you do, someone will be offended.

pointyhat Sun 25-Oct-09 09:17:25

I agree with mamazon. I think she was trying to be nice in her own way.

Not pleasant for you at all, though, starlight. I'd have left.

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