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To think we should be able to have conversations over controversial topics...

(31 Posts)
MonstrousMerryHenry Thu 22-Oct-09 21:26:46

...without them descending into slanging matches?

I have seen this on MN time and time again - where a convo about an important, highly emotive topic starts off well, with intelligent, thoughtful contributions, and then ends up with posters (both male and female, I should add) at each other's throats, hurling childish insults left, right and centre.

What does this say about us as people? We are responsible for bringing up whole human beings and yet can't get our own arses out of the playground when we're talking to adults. Occasionally I have given verbal slaps on such threads and then walked away - people's tempers are usually so high that all they can see is red.

Surely I can't be the only one who finds this annoying?

Hullygully Thu 22-Oct-09 21:28:37

What's your point?

MaureenMLove Thu 22-Oct-09 21:31:18

It won't ever happen and I don' expect it to either! Trouble is, the people you speak to in real life are, most of the time, people you chose to speak to and be friends with. They are your friends because you chose them for their personalities which are largely the same as yours. Not always, but not often that far removed from yours.

This is huge cross section of society and as such, you'll get every right wing, left wing, etc etc etc people going!

Post and run, I say. Never return to it, if it's going to upset or annoy you!

seaglass Thu 22-Oct-09 21:31:42

YANBU, but don't you think sometimes MN (or any forum) is a good outlet if you're feeling monumentally pissed off about something, and you need an argument,any argument, to help you to pass through the day without beating the living daylights out of the next RL person you see?
Or is it just me? blush (not that I do much arguing at all <polishes halo>)

fernie3 Thu 22-Oct-09 21:31:44

I am pretty new to this AIBU thing but I think it is a bit rude to call people stupid or ignorant or idiots because they dont agree you. I posted my opinion which I dont care if people disagree with BUT I dont resent being called all of the above for daring to have it!

I'll still post on here though - doesnt bother me enough to stop grin

differentWitch Thu 22-Oct-09 21:32:07

unfortunately it happens in real life as well.

MaureenMLove Thu 22-Oct-09 21:37:26

I think people also find they post more freely about their views on here. Kinda like they have the balls to do it virtually, in the knowledge they won't get a rl slap! grin

I often wonder if such posters would be quite so bolshy in rl and also if they actually had any friends in rl!! grin

I love everyone btw, whatever you say is just fine by me! grin <<lights another spliff and pops a flower in her hair>> Peace man!!

MonstrousMerryHenry Thu 22-Oct-09 21:38:21

You're such a bunch of ignorant feckers.


dW - I suppose it does. I don't encounter it very much and am always so taken aback on those rare occasions when it does happen. Some people are always on the defensive, 'primed' for action as it were. Me? I'm v laid back and accepting, so when someone strikes I never know how to respond.

I will though. When I'm in my 50's I will be a woman with such attitude and ferocious wit that any moron who dares to insult me will end up on their knees begging for mercy from my razor-sharp quips. grin <<hopeful>>

MonstrousMerryHenry Thu 22-Oct-09 21:39:25

for Maureen


preggersslaysandchops Thu 22-Oct-09 21:40:07

It is refreshing sometimes to have people say exactly what they think rather than pussy foot around things which would often happen in real life. Its also good to get a mix of opinions, and I think people sometimes forget this on AIBU threads, they get offended when people disagree and thats when it can descend into sniping rather than anything constructive. Its good when someone responds to a YABU by recognising there could be another side to it rather than taking offence.

Having said this, I was recently offended by a comment on a thread, posted my response then hid it it from view as I didn't want to hang around to hear any more. I didn't want to dwell on the responses, which I knew I would do if I carried on reading. Mumsnetting is supposed to be relaxing for me!

MaureenMLove Thu 22-Oct-09 21:40:57

grin Good for you! I'm turning into one of them now! I've been very bolshy at work today! I left work thinking, 'well that told them, no one messes with Mo and gets away with it!!'

MaureenMLove Thu 22-Oct-09 21:42:51

Ahhhhh, a field of flowers! I can almost see myself now. Semi-see through white number, hair flowing, skipping and laughing! grin

MonstrousMerryHenry Thu 22-Oct-09 21:46:09

preggers - I'm not talking about bolshy views, I'm talking about name-calling and slagging people off.

preggersslaysandchops Thu 22-Oct-09 21:54:35

One person's bolshy can be another person's offensive though without it being name-calling as such. I'm a sensitive soul sometimes smile, I tend to steer clear in general from very emotive threads.

nevergoogledragonbutter Thu 22-Oct-09 21:59:00

But nothing quite says it like a 'fuck off'.

Sometimes, nothing else will do.

Not even hmm.

MonstrousMerryHenry Thu 22-Oct-09 21:59:27

No, I'm referring to name-calling specifically, personal attacks and the like.

nevergoogledragonbutter Thu 22-Oct-09 22:04:28

Have I missed something? Who's said what?

MaryMotherOfHellFire Thu 22-Oct-09 22:04:41

I kind of think it's inevitable because there's nothing regulating conversation here.

I don't mean mods, I mean things like RL (some people hide behind their computer screens); no time limits (if this was a proper debating club or something, there would at least be a hometime; no referee, usually in any conversation there would be someone who could come in and shout "Order, order!"

So the very format is doomed really, if you only want reasoned, intelligent conversation.

Oh and by the way, bugger off! shock wink

preggersslaysandchops Thu 22-Oct-09 22:08:16

I'd much rather a 'fuck off' than a hmm!

1dilemma Thu 22-Oct-09 22:14:57

YANBU grin

DuelingFANGo Thu 22-Oct-09 22:24:42



Kevlarhead Thu 22-Oct-09 22:44:12

"...without them descending into slanging matches?"

No. This is the internet. May I refer you to John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory?

MonstrousMerryHenry Thu 22-Oct-09 23:48:22

Fuck off, dragonbutter. hmm


Love that theory, kevlarhead!

nevergoogledragonbutter Thu 22-Oct-09 23:50:11

cold custard

MonstrousMerryHenry Thu 22-Oct-09 23:51:56

<<wild, uncontrollable vomiting>>

eeeeuuuuggggghhhh...I feel hooooorrible.

<<steals Naveen Andrews away while DB is distracted scoffing cold custard>>

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