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To think all those people who want to have a christmas with just "our little family" are a bit mad?

(117 Posts)
BlingLoving Thu 22-Oct-09 12:26:28

I know, I'm going to get slated for this. But honestly, I read on MN all the time about people wanting to be with just DH and DC and it actually breaks my heart. Both DH and I come from a world where it's assumed that if you are physically close to your family at Christmas time, you spend it with them - even embarassing old great uncles because everyone is welcome. At my parents' house we practically had an open house policy and I love the fact that even now, we never spend a christmas without extended family and friends and at least one or two "strays" who don't have anywere else to go so someone invites them to come to us. That's what Christmas is about for me.

Why would you want to ditch your parents? You want to spend it with your children, can't you see that they'd want to spend Christmas with their children too? And isn't half the fun of Christmas the fact that it's so over the top and crazy? If it's just a day at home with you and the children, how is that different to any other day?

Obviously, I'm assuming fairly "normal" familial relationships here and am not suggesting that in cases of truly awful relationships/abuse etc etc that anyone should feel obliged to spend it with family.

OrmIrian Thu 22-Oct-09 12:28:55

Well I agree with you about Christmas but I wouldn't dream of calling other MNers mad. Tsk! grin

I would find 'just our little family' a bit ordinary TBH. We have that every day. And my DC don't appreciate good food that much so I'd rather have an appreciative table of parents and ILs than just my DC.

Hullygully Thu 22-Oct-09 12:30:26

Same here. DC would HATE it if it was just us - really boring. We have endless fizzy wine from breakfast until midnight, loads of guests, a lunch that turns up at some point and presents that no one can remember...and lots of games like charades.

cory Thu 22-Oct-09 12:31:27

Well, I'm all for the large and Dickensian myself. But I anticipate being so filled with the Christmas spirit that I may actually allow other Mumsnetters to have exactly the kind of Christmas they enjoy. grin

2shoescreepingthroughblood Thu 22-Oct-09 12:31:36

I must be "mas" then
I want to spend it in my own home.
why should i drive across country to spend it in some one elses house.....
they won't have a hoist, so I will have to lift dd, they won't have a big enough loo so how do I put her on her toilet mold?
the list goes on.
so yabu
and mad

FlamingoBingo Thu 22-Oct-09 12:33:16

2shoes, she did say extenuating circumstances aside!

YANBU, I don't understand it, but I don't think they're mad, just not as normal as me grin

scaryteacher Thu 22-Oct-09 12:33:30

In an ideal world yes. However - what do you do when the two sets of parents/families don't get on? I have spent some Christmases in an unpleasant atmosphere because of this and if you know that one set of gps are really hard work, so that your entire Christmas is going to be spent bending over backwards to please them, why bother?

Chickenshavenolips Thu 22-Oct-09 12:33:33

Well, we spend huge amounts of time trying to please various family memebers throughout the year, so at Christmas we do enjoy spending that one day with our DC's on our own. That said, this year my MIL is flying over for Christmas, and we're quite excited about it! grin

VinegarBloodyTits Thu 22-Oct-09 12:33:49

I also agree, sounds like a boring way to spend xmas to me

and all MNers are mad anyway

thesockmonsterofdoom Thu 22-Oct-09 12:34:22

I must admit I agree, this year there will be just us, my parents are goign to db's his prents to sil's, friends to her parents, I am a bit sad about it, whats the point of cooking a big xmas dinner for me and dh, the dc wont eat it anyway.

prettyfly1 Thu 22-Oct-09 12:34:33

Oh they sound like great christmases. Unfortunately in my family it goes like this:

DAD AND MUM START ROWING OVER FOOD

SISTERS SNIPE AT HUSBANDS

SISTERS DIG AT ONE ANOTHER AND ATTEMPT TO INCLUDE ME

MY SON (WHO HAS ADHD) STARTS GETTING TOLD OFF FOR GETTING EXCITED AND NOISY

I SPEND ALL DAY TELLING DS OFF FOR EVERY LITTLE THING TO KEEP PEACE

I GO HOME IN TEARS HAVING HAD DAY RUINED.

I will be doing it at home alone this year thanks.

LetThereBeRock Thu 22-Oct-09 12:34:59

YABU.Each to their own.
I enjoy having a few extended family members over at Christmas, only a few mind, and perhaps a friend or two but that's what Christmas is about for you. Not everyone has to have the same definition of what Christmas is about.

Hullygully Thu 22-Oct-09 12:35:38

You're such a misery, pretty fly.

Hullygully Thu 22-Oct-09 12:36:49

Same as weddings - those who want a great big jolly inclusive knees-up, and those who want some dull adult only affair.....

fernie3 Thu 22-Oct-09 12:37:19

I am having 11 people all family here on xmas day and have done for the last 4 years! I love it and cant wait!. It wouldnt be christmas without the mega pan of potatoes and giant boxes of sweets - oh and people sitting at a garden table in my dining room!

TheDevilEatsBabies Thu 22-Oct-09 12:37:36

i lvoe spending christmas with all the family, but it can be a bit mad at times!

since i've moved away from the family, i've done the midnight mass, then woken up to pressies and stockings with OH, then goen to church again, then had dinner and relaxed. that's just christmas day though, so it means we don't have to drive 180 miles on christmas day and can relax.
then we go up to the madness on boxing day.

it fits in with my sisters too because it means they can visit the inlaws on christmas day and do my family on boxing day.

once i have children, i'm sure the pattern will continue in that vein.

LetThereBeRock Thu 22-Oct-09 12:38:13

I knew someone was going to start with the wedding crap.

Adult only weddings don't have to be dull affairs anymore than those including children are automatically delightful fun filled affairs.

fernie3 Thu 22-Oct-09 12:38:57

my family doesnt argue though - so i am lucky. Would love to invite MIL etc but they live a few hundred miles away so not really practical.

prettyfly1 Thu 22-Oct-09 12:38:59

LOL - that i am. In fact many have likened me to that chirpy little donkey from winny the pooh such is my chipper little soul.

BAH HUMBUG

grin grin grin

Sassybeast Thu 22-Oct-09 12:39:04

Family is for all year, not just for Christmas. If you think you have to make a huge huge effort on Christmas Day, it suggests to me that you don't actually make much of an effort the rest of the time. How often do you visit smelly old uncles the rest of the year ? So YABU. And rude.

Pinkjenny Thu 22-Oct-09 12:39:36

I often wonder this too. I can't conceive of not spending Christmas Day with my parents, grandparents, cousins, etc etc. Although dd is only 2.5yo, so I wonder whether when she is older I will want to stay in with her and dh.

Can't see it though. I guess it does depend on the relationship you have with your family. If we just stayed in on our own, it would just feel like another day, iyswim.

clayre Thu 22-Oct-09 12:40:04

i love seeing everyone on christmas day, but dont like taking the kids away from their new toys and cant accomadate everyone for xmas dinner so everyone comes over to us on xmas morning for bacon rolls, they all pop in when it suits them so we are never totally overcrowded, thats worked for us the last few years and no ones complained.

ben5 Thu 22-Oct-09 12:40:39

i remember as a kid having all the neighbours around after christingle for drinks and nibbles before an early night. as we got older the nights got later and my dad would make a big pot of curry and my mum made a lasagne. christmas day was spent as a small family unit and somewhere between boxing day and new year we would travell the country to see relitives. the last couple of years we have had my parents and my mil come to our house for christmas day, as we were the only ones with little kids. this year it's just going to be us and the kids and our neighbours as we moved to oz!!!

andgodcreatedwoman Thu 22-Oct-09 12:40:45

I agree in theory but who's family would we go to, dh's or mine?

There are 4 kids and 16 grandchildren on his side.

4 kids and 14 grandchildren on mine.

And then you would have to have everyone elses parents too. And their brothers and sisters.

Table for 132 anyone?

prettyfly1 Thu 22-Oct-09 12:40:45

P.S i live two minutes from all of my family and see them all the time so its not a treat for us.

Hully - I am taking that as an invite to yours to show me the joy of a good ole family knees up

grin wink

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