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to hate it when ex- mil texts me to ask how "her baby" is?

(39 Posts)
friendlyfox Wed 21-Oct-09 20:53:37

she;s MY baby, my first, only 16 weeks and her son and i aren't even tog anymore! shall i ask him to tell her to rephrase?

AMumInScotland Wed 21-Oct-09 21:03:20

How about "assuming" she means ExP? After all he is her baby...

Or else just don't reply, and get him to tell her she can't expect any response until she refers to your baby properly.

Oh, and YANBU. Totally reasonable!

shockers Wed 21-Oct-09 21:04:31

Is she trying to show you that she loves your son and you can count on her support as a Grandparent even though you and her son aren't together anymore?

shockers Wed 21-Oct-09 21:05:20

So sorry... your daughter!blush

thisisyesterday Wed 21-Oct-09 21:06:41

agree with shockers. my mum refers to all 3 of mine as her babies, or as her boys.
it's just a turn of phrase and it sounds like she loves him very much and wants to be a part of his life.

HuwEdwards Wed 21-Oct-09 21:08:02

Ahhh! she's probably just trying to reassure you that she feels part of his family. My MIL is paranoid that her son and I will split and she'll never see DCs again - that might be her fear.

SixtyFootDoll Wed 21-Oct-09 21:08:07

She quite clearly wants to be a part of your DD's life
Just a turn of phrase - give her a break

lisbey Wed 21-Oct-09 21:08:56

Would you be upset if your Mum did it? I find that's a good test as to whether I'm reacting to MIL's actions or to her personally

unfitmother Wed 21-Oct-09 21:10:12

That's nice - YABU

preciouslillywhite Wed 21-Oct-09 21:11:47

I do think grannies get a bit of a bum rap on here

is she nice to you?

if so- that is, unless she's a toxic old cow- I'd have to say YABU

HuwEdwards Wed 21-Oct-09 21:12:14

Blimey made the same mistake as Shocker!! I mean part of your daughter's family

MacaroonIncident Wed 21-Oct-09 21:12:52

ah thats rather sweet

TrillianSlasher Wed 21-Oct-09 21:12:54

YANBU to hate it. But you should try to think that she means something nice by it, as mentioned above.

TrillianSlasher Wed 21-Oct-09 21:13:29

Sweet? It's massively annoying.

ninagleams Wed 21-Oct-09 21:17:05

It's annoying and sweet. Annoying because she seems to be cooing at an adult, sweet because at least she's cooing!

mamalovesmojitos Wed 21-Oct-09 21:18:39


juneybean Wed 21-Oct-09 21:23:58

lol i'd just reply saying "he's fine thanks, down at the pub" or something equally flippant.

AMumInScotland Wed 21-Oct-09 21:32:40

Is it maybe a cultural thing? Those who think it's fine and "family-ish" - do your families tend to refer to lots of people as "My Kevin", "Our Arthur" etc? Because I'd totally have hated it if my Mum or MIL had referred to DS as "their" baby, but then I'm not accustomed to people being referred to that way. Just a thought.

thisisyesterday Wed 21-Oct-09 21:36:21

lol no, no-one says "my kevin" or anything like that.
i'm from daaahn saaaf dont'cha know!

beaniesinthepumpkinagain Wed 21-Oct-09 22:32:35


id hate that!

poshsinglemum Wed 21-Oct-09 22:43:53

YANBU BUT at least she is interested.

choosyfloosy Wed 21-Oct-09 22:46:24

YANBU to be annoyed at practically anything at 16 weeks in.

YABU to say anything about it. Bite the cork on this one. It's fab that she's in touch and in love with her GC - in fact, can you build on this and start talking to her referring to the baby as 'your grandbaby?' She might pick it up.

VicarInaBooTu Wed 21-Oct-09 22:47:59

jeez id give my back teeth for a granny to be that bloody interested. id have to say YABU from my own perspective. i think whats not reasonable is when they just dont give a shit. i could tell you all about that.

fernie3 Thu 22-Oct-09 09:46:01

I think perhaps she is just trying to show she is interested and loves your baby and wants to be part of her life etc even though you and your baby's father are not together. I would ignore it and be glad for her support. My MIL says "my baby" - and it never bothered me because I have been glad she thinks so much of my little ones!

upahill Thu 22-Oct-09 09:52:28

I agree with sixtyfootdoll. If it was meant well take it that way. I think it's only an phrase. Don't get hung up on it. You're going to have bigger battles in your life without adding to them.

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