AIBU to dress a baby girl in 'baby boy' clothes?

[CoffeeMum]

I already have a toddler DS, and am pregnant with my second, who is most likely a girl - though they can't be sure until it's born. I was intending to dress the new baby almost entirely in DS's old clothes, even if it's a girl, but now i'm having second thoughts. On the plus side, we'd save alot of money and we're quite hard up at the moment. However, i'm wondering if we're genuinely going to get away with dressing a girl in alot of blue. People really do assume the gender of a baby based on the colour it's wearing don't they?

I had presumed we'd buy a few choice pink or girly items for special outings, and people are very generous with presents etc. Also, I'm not too worried about what baby wears to sleep in, be at home in, see friends who know full well if it's a girl. But am I going to get really bored of saying 'actually, she's a girl' to the inevitable questions in the street?

Anyone been in a similar boat? What's the etiquette here?

Thanks!

[PrettyCandles]

Not at all. YANBU.

Dd after ds1, here, too. We were given lots of girly stuff, and found that we didn't need to buy any ourselves. We dressed dd in whatever we liked, and nuts to anyone who thought we shouldn't.

TBH, it's often so easy to mix-and-match, that it doesn't matter if, say, the babygro is blue, people will assume the baby is a girl because she's got a pink cardie/hat/anything else on as well.

It doesn't work the other way around! Oh no, no, people never put anything pink on a boy.

(I could, and often did, dress ds1 in a shirt with button-down collar and tiny chinos, and people still assumed he was a girl. Duh! What, boys never have curly hair?)

[Sunshinemummified]

Hi Coffeemum I have a DS (3) and a DD (14m). I love buying girly clothes for DD but I do go through DS's old clothes regularly and work out what I can recycle for her. So she has a lot of his trousers and jeans, all his pajamas (like you I don't think it matters) and some of his t-shirts and jumpers but none that are too boyish. She does have his blue winter coat though. To balance that up she's also got some girly tops, skirts/dresses, tights (love stripey/spotty tights on little girls) and accessories, for e.g. she has quite a girly scarf and hat to wear with the boyish coat. She occasionally gets mistaken for a boy but as her hair grows I'm expecting that less and less.

[TheBlairSnitchProject]

I'll be doing it. I also have a toddler DS and am expecting a DD

Blue clothes will get pooped and sicked on just as well as pink ones.

We will no doubt be given tonnes of pink things when she's born that I can dress her in to go out just to save people thinking she's a boy (and even if they do, it doesn't really matter)

When we're home, if it keeps her warm, it goes on, whatever the colour.

[Horton]

You could always buy a packet of pink dye if it really bothers you. Pale blue items will probably go pale mauve. I don't think it matters, though. Dress her however you like! Or just get a fluffy pink blanket for the pram if you get bored of explaining.

[Sagacious]

Dd wore a whole load of ds's cast offs.

You may well get a load of pink stuff as presents anyway

ds is now 7 and dd 5 and she still wears his old plain jeans and random hoodies/t shirts.

Ignore nod and smile at street gawpers.

[alarkaspree]

Of course not unreasonable. You will get people assuming she is a boy. Ime this happens anyway even if girls are dressed entirely in pink, but it will happen more if she is wearing a babygro covered in trucks. You can either correct them or not bother, or see how much you care when it happens and buy some girly clothes if necessary.

I still get people thinking ds is a girl, he is 3.5 and wears boys clothes (apart from a prediliction for dd's old princess pants, but nobody can see them...). He has curly hair which obviously is very confusing for people .

[Sunshinemummified]

Oh Prettycandles my DS has long hair and people always assume he's a girl even if he's dressed in the mist boyish clothes I can find.

[MayorNaze]

when dd was 15 months old and wearing a pink dress, pink boots and a pink cardigan a little old lady said "oh what a lovely boy."



dress her how you like. sod the etiquette

[MayorNaze]

that should've said 5 months, sorry, but still odd imo!

[TheHeadlessWombat]

YANBU.

[gruber]

Not unreasonable at all. As a baby I was dressed in a blue coat and hat because that was the fabric my grandma had.

Also had lots of boyish hand-me-downs, like TheBlairSnitch says they all get sick, poop, babydribble etc the same!

[GrimmaTheNome]

One of the nicest outfits given to my DD when she was born was navy velour which I realised was 'supposed' to be for a boy. She looked great (and like a girl!) in it. I have always looked on the 'boy's rail ever after.

Get a pink pram blanket and you'll be fine

[StealthPolarBear]

i have a 2yo DS and a 4 wo DD
got loads of pink/girly stuff as gifts or handed down
neutral stuff of his that she wears
blue stuff for changing bag/night time/being at home etc

[CoffeeMum]

Oh good! I was worried I was going to be greeted with 'how could you!?' but you all talk alot of sense. I just think it's a bit rash to discard a mountain of baby clothes simply because it's the 'wrong colour'. I like the idea of mixing and matching 'girly' stuff in with the 'boy' stuff - it's so true that you just don't see pink on little boys, so if a baby is even wearing one pink thing with a blue outfit, that will denote 'GIRL'! I think it's a given that we'll get pink clothes as presents too - if only from the grandparents! I am always blown away by how generous people are with baby presents anyway.

Loving the idea of the dye if it all gets too much though

Thanks everyone - good to hear there are others of the same mindset. I think i have been overdoing the catalogues a bit lately and feel I should be doing the whole pink princess thing...

Baby will no doubt be a boy now after all my ponderings!

[louii]

I have a 4 year old DS and am due my DD in 15 weeks. Have most of DS's clothes and planning to re-use a lot of them.

I loathe pink so hopefully i wont get too many pink gifts.

[CoffeeMum]

Oh should add that I had extra concerns because DS was a real baldy - even now at 19 months he only has very fine hair. If baby is a DD and has the same kind of hair, i'm worried she might look a bit more boyish than she might with a thick head of hair, or curls. Maybe i'll get one of those lovely baby headbands with a bow on it...

Thanks for your replies everyone - wasn't expecting such a unanimous verdict that IANBU!

[fizzpops]

I would disagree with the theory that if they are wearing one pink thing then people will know they are a girl. My DD frequently wears lots of different colours with the odd splash of pink and people disregard the pink. I think they are sort of put on the spot and do a quick scan for pink - if it doesn't register immediately they obviously think that it must be a boy.

She also got mistaken for a boy when wearing a pink coat with pink and purple flowers which proves nothing except that there are some very unperceptive people about!

I don't think there is anything wrong in dressing your DD in your DS's clothes as long as you are prepared for a lot of mistakes about her gender.

[crankytwaaaaaahhhhnky]

Lol I could have writtenthis! I am hoping for a boy as DS's clothes haven't made it to the charity shop/loft yet.

Everyone calls ds a girl anyway, so chuff it. (It's the shoulder-lenghth curls ) We will be putting our new baby girl, (And I strongly believe it is a girl) into "boys" clothes till it gets boring.

[CoffeeMum]

Oh dear fizzpops, so much for that idea...

I think you're right - i'll have to be prepared for gender confusion, and see how i cope with that [which might be quite badly considering how sleep deprived i'll be!]

However, as you say, if people are so flaky that they think a baby boy would be wearing a pink flower coat, you might as well give up now! Though if i'm about to dress a girl in 'boy's clothes', i shouldn't be so prejudiced about what a boy 'should' wear either i suppose...

[ChunkyMonkeysMum]

When I had DS1, I took him out his pram wearing a blue babygro, blue cardigan, blue hat & blue blanket & was still asked "Is it a boy or a girl ??!"

I have a DB who is 2 years younger than me. My Mum recycled some of my clothes & we even have a picture of DB wearing a pink tracksuit with the words "Here comes trouble" on it!!

[haemomum]

YANBU - I would do the same in your situation. I've kept all my favourites of ds's clothes - some are blue, some neutral (white, yellow, etc) and intend to use them next time around, girl or boy.
DS is 19 months, we were in a cafe the other day and he was weaaring jeans, blue socks and a blue and white top - and a man came to talk to him then turned to me and said "girl?" e
He's never worn a spot of pink and we are still asked, so I don't think it matters anymore what colours they wear.
And as you've said, people will buy presents which are likely to be girly clothes etc, so she'll have neutral and girly things.
Good luck with the new lo!

[undercoverelephant]

YANBU.

I found that people gave me ALL their cast-off girl clothes when I had DD. This included vests and baby grows that were to all intents and purposes identical to the ones I had dressed my two DSs in - but may have had a single pink heart on the collar or something. I didn't wish to appear ungrateful so accepted them all and then freecycled anything I couldn't use - I already had so much!

CoffeMum - My mum did want to get one of those head bands - so far I've held out, although until recently we got a lot of confused elderly folk thinking that DD was a boy!

[ParanoidAtAllTimes]

YANBU- we were given loads of boy and girl clothes as hand me downs when I was pregnant with ds. He's worn it all except for the particularly pretty party dress (although debating photographing him wearing it as an amusing joke for when he's older )

The more girly babygrows are reserved for bedtime wear though!

[Morloth]

Does it matter if people get it wrong when you are talking about a little baby?

If my new DC is a girl she will be wearing a lot of DS's old clothes (though not many cause I wasn't having anymore!

[diddl]

My daughter wore a lot of her older brothers clothes when very young.

Often just a different top or socks is all that´s needed.