Just met him today after 30 years (mum & dad split when I was 7 and mum then remarried).
Found him through the internet. He first approached me 5 years ago and I decided not to meet him then contacted him and finally changed my mind as I decided it would be better to get it over with.
We meet today in a coffee shop and had quite a relaxed chat (I am surprised that I was so calm must be the Prozac I'm on ). He seems quite decent and was very emotional but I can't really think of him as my dad as my stepdad is. I know that he has tried to contact me over the years and my mum caused so many problems with access when I was younger that he stopped as he thought it would be better that way. He was also an alcoholic and violent to my mum but he was only in his early 20s then so I am prepared to accept that he's changed (he also remarried and has been with his wife for 25 years and also brought up stepchildren so can't be all bad).
Now I've met him I'm not really sure that I want him in my life and can't imagine having a father daughter relationship so am inclined to say that I don't want further contact but feel that I may be being a bit unfair to him (especially as he has grandchildren he has never met and probably won't as they don't know my stepdad is not their real grandad). AIBU and what would you do??
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AIBU?
to not want a relationship with my absent father??
7 replies
BigMomma3 · 18/10/2009 21:28
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