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to be really annoyed with my midwife?

(28 Posts)
CherryPopTart Fri 16-Oct-09 15:53:47

I'm unsure how most midwifes act so thats why i'm wondering

first pregnacy and I'm 16 so im lacking in life experince ect
but my midwife has not told me about any grants, benifits ect and didnt give me a maternity certifficte even though she was aware i needed one although i wasnt
she hasnt told me about antenatial classes or anything similar
the only thing she said is 'oh theres a group for mums like you, young mums' in a sort of down her nose fashion

so am i expecting too much from my midwife?

bigstripeytiger Fri 16-Oct-09 15:55:35

How pregnant are you? My midwife didnt do anything about classes or certificate until later on (5 months for the MATB, and 7 months for the classes).

Ditto what tiger said, if it was your booking in appointment, they don't tell you much. Sod all in fact!

But you're pregnant for a long time, with lots of appointments! Next time you go in ask for your MATb1 form (or whatever it's called) and any other questions you've thought of.

Try not to get stressed out because of your age - you won't be the first 16 yr old she's seen, or the last!

RoseBlossoms Fri 16-Oct-09 15:59:52

I'm 24 and didnt get told either i wouldnt take it to heart.

I would do your own research just google anything you want to know. Or ring your local sure start center they weill have lots of things to go to when your baby is here.

I dont honestly think a mw would know about grants and benifits.

Whoa, just saw from your profile that your baby is due dec 22nd! shock

Okay that's unacceptable. Schedule another appointment, say you want your form as soon as possible, and ask about your antenatal classes.

As for grants and benefits you can look up a lot of that online. I think you're entitled to a one off payment of £190, not sure what else. Citizens advice would be able to advise you.

Firawla Fri 16-Oct-09 16:01:58

i think you might need to ask for the cert and grants info, mine hasnt given it either & im 7.5 months so gonna just ask for it next time i see her. they can be quite busy and just give the minimum possible care esp when u see a dif one every time, i wouldnt take it personally

Stigaloid Fri 16-Oct-09 16:04:08

Why should a mid wife tell you about grants and benefits? that's not her job. At some stage later in pregnancy (usually when you go for your scan at the hospital) you can pick up a folder there that will tell you all about it. there will be some stuff in your bounty pack too - but if you want to find out about these things you need to investigate them yourself. It isn't a mid-wife's job.

Ante-natal classes don't start until you arre around 30/32 weeks so they don't tell you much about them either.

You will get your maternity certificate through the post and this is usually signed by dr or midwife - you usually have to send it off.

VirginiaLoveGlove Fri 16-Oct-09 16:05:29

I agree with what RoseBlossom has said. Don't take it personally. My mw was rubbish too but in different way. Do do your own research as to what services are available in your area for first time and young mums like yourself. Logging onto MN is a great first start btw. lurk read around here. you'll find out loads.

Stigaloid Fri 16-Oct-09 16:07:04

Ah - just seen previous podt saying you are due 22nd Dec - you should be attending ante-natal classes for sure if first time. Can you see if there are any NCT classes near you? (You have to pay for those). You should have received your health in preganancy grant too. Make an appointment with your Dr - she/he will sign everything you need and then you need to post it off. Also mention to your Dr that your mid-wife has left you with no information and you are getting close to due date.

Sidge Fri 16-Oct-09 16:10:21

What do you mean by maternity certificate? Do you mean the exemption form for prescriptions etc? I've had 3 children and never received a physical form! I just tick the box that applies, no-one (luckily) has ever asked to see a certificate.

Or do you mean a Mat B1?

As for classes she could have told you about those really, they usually start around 30-32 weeks.

When I was pregnant (I was 25) I was given information on grants and benefits by my midwife, however it was because I was upset and worried at the time. I think there are probably many midwives who don't know anything about the financial aspect of pregnancy, but some do, and tbh I think they should be doing everything they can to help a teenage mum-to-be. Not just assume she's getting help and leave her to it.

PopTart, are you living with your parents or with your boyfriend? I read this just now:

Benefits that are available for pregnant teenagers and mothers under 16 depend on different things such as how old you are and whether you live with your parents or not.

If you are under 16 and living with parents:

During pregnancy-
If you are of compulsory school age (i.e. beginning of June following your 16th birthday) your local education authority must provide education for you, either at your usual school or somewhere else.
No benefits are available for you to claim, but if you are still with parents or carers they can continue to get child benefit and child tax credits for you if applicable.

After the birth-
Once your baby is born either you or your parents can claim child benefit. You will not be able to claim Income Support as a lone parent until you are 16 but your parents will be able to get extra child tax credit for your baby. If they get child tax credits of more than the family element, they can claim the £500 sure start maternity grant for your baby. Once you reach 16 the situation will change.

If you are under 16 and living apart from parents

During pregnancy-
Because you are under 16 you cannot claim benefits for yourself. If you live away from your parents or guardians, social services are responsible for you.

After the birth-
Once your baby is born and you reach 16 years of age you can claim child benefit. Once you reach 16 you will be able to claim child tax credits and possibly Income Support as a lone parent.

If you are under 16 and living with your boyfriend:

Your partner cannot claim extra money for you while you are pregnant unless he is over 16 and claims for you as his dependent child. After the birth he can claim for Child Benefit and Child Tax Credit for your baby. He may also be able to get Housing Benefit and Income Support as a lone parent if he is not working. Under these circumstances he may also be eligible to claim the sure start maternity grant.

CherryPopTart Fri 16-Oct-09 16:13:26

I'm 31 weeks and still no word on antenatial classes

i've asked her about alot of things and she tends to ignore me
luckily i had a differnt midwife for one app who gave me masses of help, the matb1, grant info, connections info ect
but she told me that my midwife should have done this all before and i should of had the maternity certifficate asap as i have a repeat prescription which my midwife was aware of

i just dont really know where to begin and alot of things on websites are directed at people aged 18+

i was just hoping for more help from her as i have no idea whats happening

curiositykilled Fri 16-Oct-09 16:14:43

Ask the midwife specifically and/or call into or phone the job centre about benefits and grants. I'm not sure which ones you'd be entitled to apart from the health in pregnancy one and probably the sure start grant.

Agree with those who say that midwives often don't remember these things, even though they should because they have a large workload.

There might be a group for pregnant teens that would be able to help you sort out all the forms for various things, if you can face going grin That's what she might've meant. She was probably judgey but I've found you often get a couple of judgey midwives/health visitors - it doesn't matter too much who you are!

littleducks Fri 16-Oct-09 16:15:20

Did you get a bounty pack/Emma's diary book?
Mine didnt give that much info i was expected to get it all out of those books

CherryPopTart Fri 16-Oct-09 16:20:40

i dont remeber getting an emmas diary book, i got one pack thing with my maternity notes folder but i was sure there was others you could recive?

ruddynorah Fri 16-Oct-09 16:22:35

have you directly asked your midwife about the things you aren't sure of? never mind her ignoring you, you ask, you ask again, and again. if it helps write all your questions down and go to your appointment prepared, and note down the answers. don't let her ignore you.

when is your next appointment? if it's a long time off then ring her. you say to her 'i have a list of questions i need answering. i saw Xmidwife last time and she said i should have had some info from you by then so i really want to make sure i don't miss anything again.'

stand up for yourself.

Stigaloid Fri 16-Oct-09 16:23:34

You should have received your maternity exemption card - it is a small plastic card which states what dates you are allowed to receive free prescriptions and dentistry until. I would phoen up the mid wife team at your hospital and ask to speak to the head of the unit and voice your concerns that you aren't in any classes, are a first time mum and need information and would like some help. As in all jobs - some people are simply marvellous and others blooming useless! Am sure the other mid wife who was helpful would be happy to chat if you need to. Good luck - you are due just after me

Drooper Fri 16-Oct-09 18:25:48

It may be worth finding out who your Health Visitor will be. In some areas they do antenatal visits and you may get a good HV who'll give you lots of info.

Also,is there a childrens centre near you? They usually run stuff for young parents which might be useful.

Have heard about this website, not looked round it yet, see what you think.
www.bubbalicious.co.uk/

Hope all goes well for you and your Christmas baby!

ninagleams Fri 16-Oct-09 19:57:13

You should receive your MATB1 around 20 weeks. If you have any questions about grants and benefits you can read the government website. You're eligible for Health in Pregnancy, Healthy Start (free milk, vitamins, fruit and vegetables) and possibly Statutory Maternity Pay or Maternity Allowance if you've been working.

facebookaddict Fri 16-Oct-09 20:15:37

wow, sounds like massive variation across what I assume is different hospitals/areas.

MatB1 form is given at 26 weeks and that apt is the best one for them to also give you a stamped, signed Pregnancy Grant form which you then sign and send off to receive your one off 190pounds (sorry no pound sign on keyboard).

I have heard about the exemption card (for perscriptions etc) but never got one for either pregnancy, I too just ticked the box and usually baby in buggy next to me was good enough back up!

Cherry - definitely chase them for more help. The suggestion for contacting HV in advance is a good one, a good relationship there will help no end when baby arrives. Good luck!

Littlefish Fri 16-Oct-09 20:54:25

Re. antenatal classes. I can't remember the exact details, but under certain conditions (which I'm sure you'd meet), NCT antenatal classes are available at a reduced rate of something like £20.00

Google NCT and see if there are some in your area.

Alternatively, contact your nearest Children's Centre for advice on benefits, ante natal classes, young parents groups etc.

Thingiebob Sat 17-Oct-09 15:17:01

Hi there
Sounds like your midwife is letting you down. Good job you have the sense to post on here and ask for help!
Make an appointment with your GP and ask him/her all these questions, Antenatal classes, benefits, information, prescription exemption form. Tell them so far your midwife has not given you any of this info.

Let us know how you get on.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sat 17-Oct-09 15:27:25

What do you want to know? I know a bit about benefits etc for young parents. Depends on your circs.
If you are not working you may be able to claim income support from week 29 at about £50 a week. If you can't claim benefits in your own right (ie living with parents) they can claim tax credits I believe. I'm not sure about that bit TBH. If you are living with a partner this will be different. You can claim the health in pg grant and also a surestart maternity grant for £500. You need the matb1 for all those things so go and get it from her asap.
Once the baby is born you can get child benefit and if living independently, child tax credit.

Hando Sat 17-Oct-09 15:28:37

Emmas diary made me cringe! Bounty packs are rubbish! I have no idea who my midwife was, in fact I'm not sure I "had" one. I saw a different person for each of my scans and a tota different one when I was giving birth and I never attended an antenatal class. I got on with it myself and did it all my way - just how I wanted to.

I was a yong mum too, like yourself. The information is all readily available, it just takes a few minutes to search online and probably a few phone calls. No reason why you need to wait for the midwife to hand all the info to you is there?

Hando Sat 17-Oct-09 15:29:49

Sorry, that wasn't supoosed to be rude, but sounded a bit blunt now I've read it all back. Soem other posters have given you loads of info above. Hope it gets everything sorted.

Good luck with the baby! x

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