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AIBU?

or over the top to send this letter?

56 replies

OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry · 15/10/2009 22:41

My DD "fell" and smacked her head on a table today at nursery. She is 3 years old.

This happened at 3pm, and apparently the staff tried to contact me - as she was non responsive and floppy for 5 mins after.

They took her to our docters - which luckily is in the same town.

They did not manage to contact me - and I don't think they even bothered. They certainly didn't call the other 5 contact numbers they have, including that of my DP - as he was with me at the time.

I have written this letter -

RE: Injury to OnlyWantsOne's DD October 15th 2009

Further to our conversation today about the above matter I would just like to put into writing my feelings.

Firstly I would like to say that OnlyWantsOne's DD is happy at the nursery and enjoys the company of the staff and the other children.

Also I would like to thank you for acting quickly and taking good care of OnlyWantsOne's DD after she suffered her injury. That being said I am somewhat disappointed that I was not contacted sooner. I was first notified that OnlyWantsOne's DD was injured when I picked her up at 5:30 pm today.

I understand that OnlyWantsOne's DD was injured at approximately 3:00 pm today, that she lost consciousness and was taken to ** health clinic and was seen by one of the General Practitioners there.

You have on file my mobile telephone number as well as the telephone numbers of my partner and my close family. In the event of an emergency or an occurrence such as above I would have expected someone from the nursery to contact me or left a message with one of my close family or on my voicemail. This did not happen.

I am also disappointed that I was asked to sign paperwork when I came to pick OnlyWantsOne's DD up today. At that point OnlyWantsOne's DD was clearly upset (as was I) and I did not really have time to take in the importance of the paperwork you were asking me to sign.

Having made the above points I would like to ask the following questions. How did OnlyWantsOne's DD injure herself? Was she playing with other children at the time? Was she being adequately supervised at the time? Why I was not contacted as soon as the decision to take OnlyWantsOne's DD to the clinic? As pointed out above I have a voicemail function on my mobile phone. Other than the head injury checklist, what other treatment did OnlyWantsOne's DD receive at the clinic? Lastly why was I asked to sign paperwork when I picked OnlyWantsOne's DD up? At the very least this is grossly insensitive.

I look forward to receiving the answers to the above questions and any of your comments at your earliest convenience and in any event within 7 days of the date of this letter.

Yours sincerely

OP posts:

Report

scaryteacher · 15/10/2009 22:44

Nope, send it.

PuzzleRocks · 15/10/2009 22:45

YANBU

Rindercella · 15/10/2009 22:45

Sounds an entirely reasonable letter to me.

Hope your DD is ok.

Crapweasel · 15/10/2009 22:48

Sorry about your DD. Is she OK now?

YANBU about the attempts to contact you/others. TBH I'd expect my nursery to go down the A&E route or to get her picked up immediately. I'm a bit about the GP - not their place I don't think.

YAB(abit)U re the paperwork I think- they do have to get this done, and probably before they release her to your care. You should have had enough time to read and digest however.

OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry · 15/10/2009 22:49

She has a large lump on her head, which has split the cut is about 2 inches long, not deep - but very puffy and swollen.

Poor thing, she crumbled into sobs when she saw me at the nursery coming to collect her.

The staff kept assuring me that she was ok, blah blah blah.

I feel angry now, as at the time just wanted to snuggle her and make it better, I feel bad that I wasn't there, I could have met them at the doctors as was literally, NEXT DOOR!!!

O, and I didnt even ask what they did at the dr's. I think they have put some glue on it as her hair is stuck to her head but its too sore for me to look properly

OP posts:

Astrid28 · 15/10/2009 22:49

I think its a very well worded letter. Not OTT at all if she's had a head injury that left her concussed, which is what it sounds like.

I'd send it.

hotpotato1 · 15/10/2009 22:52

Have you authorised them to seek emergency medical care for your DD .If they can't contact you quickly , do you want them to get her medical attention ASAP or plough through the list of 5 contact numbers hoping someone would be in.Also I'm not sure that anyone but the parent's would be able to authorise medical care ?
I am not sure about leaving sensitive information on a voicemail.Much better to speak to the person directly.
Finally it was probably almost pick up time by the time they got back from the Health centre.

OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry · 15/10/2009 22:55

HOTPOTATO

they had today, at 5.30pm 10 members of care staff on duty, 10 - which means more than likely, at 3pm, they had more on duty - the manager and her key worker took her to the doctors. Leaving 3 fulltime staff members in the office - who could have ploughed through the other numbers in an attempt to reach me.

And what would be sensitive about leaving a voicemail message, asking me to call them?

They certainly do that when there is a cheque missing in DD's book bag on bill day

OP posts:

macdoodle · 15/10/2009 23:00

Poor you I would have wanted to be there for her too.... Poor little thing am sure she wanted her mummy!
They certainly should have tried harder to contact you!
I would make it brifer and clearer, leave out all the nicey nicey stuff, break your questions into bullet points and make a point of them not contacting you when they seem perfectly capable of doing so about a bill!

Hope she is all better now, and dont worry she will forget all about it, though im sure you wont

OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry · 15/10/2009 23:08

my MIL is a health visitor, was a MW - she just called to check how she is. And has told me to go and stroke her / shuffle her around in bed to check she is still responsive.

And do that again about 3am...

OP posts:

Casserole · 15/10/2009 23:10

You're not being unreasonable at all, though I'm not sure personally I'd include the "was she being adequately supervised" bit - that sounds like you're taking it into a new level of questioning their competence at caring for her rather than their competance at handling the practical aftermath of an emergency incident like that.

Other than that, I'd definitely send it.

Poor you, and poor her Horrible for you both. Hope she's feeling better tomorrow.

Casserole · 15/10/2009 23:13

Disagree with Macdoodle - I think the opening bit of your letter is great and sets the tone well - considering as you say, she's happy there and presumably you don't want to move her.

Like I say, LOs can fall so quickly - as we all as Mums know - so I personally wouldn't jeopardise the good relationship the them overall by making them think you're accusing them of negligence - as from your OP I don't think you are, just of really bad management AFTER the accident. ie if they'd rung all 5 numbers over and over and left messages everywhere so you could have met them at the doctors then you wouldn't be writing. Unless I'm misunderstanding you.

Oh, and I second the partially rousing her advice after a head injury like that.

Hope you can get some rest yourself.

messalina · 15/10/2009 23:16

I must say, I would have thought A&E would be a more obvious place to take her given what happened to her after the fall. Send the letter. Hope your daughter is fully recovered soon.

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 15/10/2009 23:17

why GP? honestly A&E would have been a better idea imo. I would send letter was not good that they didnt contact you, Im sure you would have got her quicker had you known. Very daft way to deal it imo

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 15/10/2009 23:21

WTF? Why the hell didn't they call an ambulance if she wasn't responsive?!

Holy crap!

The nursery have mine and my partners contact details. At worst they would have to leave a message which would be responded to in less than 5 mins. I would be bloody furious!

I hope your DD is OK

Def send the letter, I'd actually make it more strongly worded.

Ewe · 15/10/2009 23:26

YANBU

I had this issue once with the nursery my DD attends, over a much smaller incident where DD hit her head but was fine/responsive. I just made a big point of checking all of the contact details and reiterating that I would rather they over communicated than under.

Of course I now get a call on every number I have until they get hold of me... even if I am in meetings and the incident is very small but would much rather it this way around.

I think you would be better off having a conversation about this instead of sending a letter unless you are wanting to make a formal complaint? I personally think it would be better to make it a constructive conversation/learning point for moving forward.

Hope your DD is feeling better soon.

cat64 · 15/10/2009 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ninagleams · 16/10/2009 00:01

I think it conveys your anger very well and you should send it just as it is.

hotpotato1 · 16/10/2009 09:25

Why in the opening part of your post ,have you put fell in inverted commas.Don't you believe she really fell ?

hotpotato1 · 16/10/2009 09:28

And I think you should leave out the questions about whether she was being adequately supervised, it makes it sound as thoughyou think they have been negligent.Also seems pointless do you think they would ever answer no ?

sunchild77 · 16/10/2009 09:39

How awful! I would be very upset too. I do like the style of your letter, though, just a thought, rather than writing a formal letter, could you not request a meeting with the nursery manager and the teachers who were involved in the incident? Might be better to see what they has to say in person?

catinthehat2 · 16/10/2009 09:40

In similar circs I demanded and got a file note written by the person supervising DC's room describing exactly what happened - time, what child was doing, how injury happened. (Tooth was damaged and I wanted to have an expensive stick to beat the nursery with later on if orthodontistry was needed)

Even if the statement says "I didn't see nuffink", that demonstartes the supervisor wasn't on the case.

fernie3 · 16/10/2009 09:54

you are not being unreasonable I would have expected a call or a call to one of the other contacts (or at the very least a voicemail message!). I had a call from the nursery last week because my son had come out in a rash, it turned out to be a reaction and nothing serious but in my opinion they did the right thing calling.

I wouldnt have been happy with they way they reacted.

If she was unresponsive I would have thought they should have called an ambulance. In my mind a GP is not for this kind of problem.

sophie

diddl · 16/10/2009 10:14

I do think they were wrong not to call an ambulance.

But do you really expect them to messing about phoning umpteen numbers?

They have to quickly decide what to do with the child who is in their care.

That said, it would perhaps have been better to have phoned when she returned from the docs so you could collect her early.

They may have tried, and thought if they couldn´t get hold of you,she was as well staying with them.

tulpe · 16/10/2009 10:18

With that many members of staff on hand, I would have expected somebody to have got through to at least one of the numbers of the list.

YANBU. And your letter is very well written and reasonable

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