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To be absolutely amazed and fuming at this behaviour?

(36 Posts)
Kitsilano Sun 11-Oct-09 19:07:40

This afternoon I was sitting with DD2 (22 months) in the very small baby pool. A 4/5 year old boy came into the pool and started throwing a long heavy plastic Zogg diving stick high, high up into the air and letting it fall into the water around us. These toys are heavy (I also have them) as they are thick plastic and rubber and fill up with water so I was concerned it would conk DD2 on the haed but said nothing as he did it 5-6 times while his mum watched.

Then his mum said "Stop that now, we're going" and moved away to gather towels etc.

He ignored her and kept doing it closer and closer to us say 4 more times. At which point I said (VERY politely) "Would you mind not doing that please? It might hit someone on the head by mistake and that would hurt". The boy replied "I wasn't throwing it at anyone" and I replied "Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't mean to but accidents happen".

At this point his mum stormed back over said in a very nasty tone "I've already asked him to stop, thank you". Then she screamed at him to get out of the pool and as they left turned to me and hissed "Dont EVER do that again!".

I think I am still in shock. All I could think of to say in response was "I didn't want my daughter to get hit!"

I know people can take offence at other adults seeming to "discipline" their children but can I really have been out of order to ask him politely to stop doing something that could have hurt me or my child?

What on earth should I have said or done?

FABIsInTraining Sun 11-Oct-09 19:09:30


Just forget it now.

You did nothing wrong.

JeminTheDungeon Sun 11-Oct-09 19:09:33

Sounds like she was a bit stressed.

Don't worry, you did nothing wrong.

junkcollector Sun 11-Oct-09 19:10:30

YANBU at all, but she was probably at the end of her tether about something and exploded. Not that that excuses rudeness! Forget her. You didn't do anything wrong.

ChilloHippi Sun 11-Oct-09 19:10:39

Oh dear, I guess she felt silly that he didn't listen to her and had to be told by a stranger.

fruitspooksbatsintheeaves Sun 11-Oct-09 19:11:27

you didn't do anything wrong she was probably embarassed that someone else had witnessed her child misbehaving and not listening and took it out on you.
Maybe she was having a bad day with him.
I think you did the right thing.

Hassled Sun 11-Oct-09 19:11:52

There's nothing else you could have done. Some parents just can't handle any criticism, whether implied or obvious, of their children. You see it on MN often, and in RL. Most people have that instinctive "I can tell my child off, but no one else can" feeling, but in circumstances like yours, you'd think she'd have been able to deal with it.

Kitsilano Sun 11-Oct-09 19:14:56

I could understand her reaction if I'd said "Stop that you little brat" but I waited AGES and then was super polite.

The irrationality of it and her aggression has really got to me.

sazlocks Sun 11-Oct-09 19:18:04

Pah - some people.
You did what you needed to do IMO. Hopefully she feels blush by her response now.

PoppyDeLaFoof Sun 11-Oct-09 19:20:06

Not surprised at his lack of social skills. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, sadly. You did nothing wrong, but I can understand why you still feel a bit shocked- she was very rude.

TheFallenMadonna Sun 11-Oct-09 19:30:52

Meh. I said "excuse me please" to a child who was blocking my way in a shop, and his mother told me to address any remark I had to her and not her child.

Don't fret about it. Some people are odd.

kitsmummy Sun 11-Oct-09 19:38:22

I think she probably wasn't embarassed or stressed, I think she was probably just a twat grin

Kitsilano Sun 11-Oct-09 19:42:39

OMG The FallenMadonna! Maybe it was the same woman.

Kitsilano Sun 11-Oct-09 19:43:09

How did you react, out of interest?

Northernlurker Sun 11-Oct-09 19:45:46

Mother is horrid and you were perfectly within your rights to say what you did. Don't worry about it.

TheFallenMadonna Sun 11-Oct-09 19:48:30

I didn't react. No point in starting an row. Just squeezed past and carried on shopping.

NinthWave Sun 11-Oct-09 19:48:50

Yikes TheFallenMadonna. I suspect that's how we end up with classes full of children who refuse to listen to their teachers...

skidoodle Sun 11-Oct-09 19:52:30

"his mother told me to address any remark I had to her and not her child"


OP you did nothing wrong. I'm not surprised you are so shocked - "don't ever do that again"? You're not her child, what a silly thing to say to you.

Earlybird Sun 11-Oct-09 19:53:22

Sounds as if she was/is very stressed. She asked her son to stop, and he ignored her. Your asking her son to stop highlighted the fact that he wasn't minding, and perhaps made her feel angry at him for being stubborn/wilfull and angry at you for showing that she had no ability to get him to behave.....which could have made her feel an inadequate parent.

Don't think you were wrong to ask her son to stop, and think she over-reacted and lashed out at you in anger/frustration.

Jamieandhismagictorch Sun 11-Oct-09 20:19:12

Op You were in the right.

The mother, for instance, was a twat.

HarrumphingAndBosomAdjusting Sun 11-Oct-09 20:35:42

YANBU in the slightest. If my child was doing something potentially dangerous I'd stop them, and if I failed to do so I wouldn't take exception to someone asking them to stop.
Did she just expect you to sit back and watch when the toy could ahve come crashing downon your child's head?
Then she spoke to you like you were four.
Quite mad.

CloudDragon Sun 11-Oct-09 20:43:18

her issues ignoring her was right

mummyloveslucy Sun 11-Oct-09 20:56:21

What a strange woman. hmm I wouldn't worry about it. What hope does her son have?
If my daughter did that, she's 4.5 I would have firmly told her not to do that as the toy could hit the baby, and appologise to you too. If she did it once again, I'd remove her from the pool.
She is very well behaved and sensible though thankfully.

reservejudgement Sun 11-Oct-09 21:59:11

Jeez, I would be thankful to anyone who told ds3 off as he doesn't listen to anything I say!grin
You did nothing wrong, Kits, she was a fruitloop!

Kitsilano Sun 11-Oct-09 22:09:03

Thanks all.

I shall try to put it down to her being stressed/embarrassed/a bit bonkers...

Though now I am afraid of bumping into her again as we go swimming there every Sunday.

I keep wondering what would have happened if the thing actually HAD hit DD2 - would that have been somehow my fault too?!

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