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to think the school should have told me about this.

(10 Posts)
chocolatecosmos Sun 11-Oct-09 00:16:09

This is my first post here and I really need some advice before talking to my sons school on Monday. He has just started in reception and attended half day nursery at the same school. In the nursery he made a close friend but started to lose confidence as this friendship took on a bit of a bullying tone. They were seperated deliberately and DS1 is now in a new class with some new friends. There have been a few more incidents and I had asked the teacher and T.A. to watch the situation. My DS1 was playing with his friend at home and suddenly started shouting 'I did not eat the poo'. When questioned, he said he had been in the toilets when this boy smeared a pooey tissue on his face. His friend wiped his face for him. He said he told the T.A. what had happened.I remember him coming home with what looked like poo on his face but I dismissed the thought.
How do I handle this? Am I wrong to think I should have been told about this. I am livid that he has had to have to handle this at the age of four and am worried that he will continue to be targeted by this boy as the situation seems to be escalating. ( I am at least glad he has made a new friend sweet enough to help him out )

cherryblossoms Sun 11-Oct-09 00:42:49

Yes, I think I would want to be told about that. Especially since there are health risks re. faeces, eg. hepatitis.

As people will no doubt say, tread softly and try to establish whether the T.A. corroborates that she was informed. If it's affirmed, then establish if the teacher was informed, and so on.

If it's not confirmed that the T. A. was made aware ... you have a tricky situation. See how they deal with it. I'd expect the teacher to gently tell your ds, right then and there, that things like this should be told to an adult.

Obviously, you will then have the issue that your ds says he did inform T. A. and T. A. saying he didn't to deal with ... .

In that situation, I'd tell my dc to tell a teacher and not the T. A. in the future, just because it cuts out any future difficulties.

If T. A. and teacher were informed and no "accident" report made its way back to me, I'd be looking at what guidelines there are about health issues like this and whether the school has contravened any.

Fwiw I can't imagine a school where this wouldn't be taken seriously.

almostreal Sun 11-Oct-09 01:13:52

I would be livid too.
1. About the health factor.
2. About the bullying escalating and not being informed.
Speak to the school and if they say yes they knew make sure they understand that you are very upset about not being told and if such an incident happens again and your not informed you will make a formal complaint.

What a sweet friend he has!

girlsyearapart Sun 11-Oct-09 09:12:56

Surely to god if the TA did know she would've cleaned his face?

I can't think there would be even one adult working in a school who would let a child go home with poo on their face??

If she did know and left it then I'd be seriously mad at them!

chocolatecosmos Sun 11-Oct-09 21:16:57

girlsyearapart- that is what I thought too. Thanks for the replies- will face this in the morning. I am going in early to see the teacher. I will bear in mind cherryblossoms advice about treading softly....

Jamieandhismagictorch Sun 11-Oct-09 21:23:33

Good luck. This is a very upsetting thing to hear about. Let us know how you got on.

welshone51 Sun 11-Oct-09 21:54:08

I would most certainly say something, do it in a calm clear manner but get your point across, this is a horrible situation for your son to be in and it needs sorting out promptly and efficiently. It may be that the t.a thought your son was joking though how she didnt see the pooh on his face is beyond me. Good luck and keep us all informed if you can x!!

Booooooooooyhoo Sun 11-Oct-09 22:00:42

what a horrible horrible thing to happen to a little child. that actually has brought a lump to my throat thinking od something like that happening to my ds (same age).

agree with all advice given and i hope the teacher nips it in the bud immediately.

girlsyearapart Mon 12-Oct-09 18:42:39

did you speak to the teacher today then OP

allaboutme Mon 12-Oct-09 20:08:49

Did you manage to speak to them about it?

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