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To thnkthat 3 days isnt very long to wait for a thank-you?

(24 Posts)
Marioandluigi Sat 10-Oct-09 19:13:06

My Step-dad and me have had a straied relationship since he left my mum for OW to years ago, and has since got married.

Anyway, he sent DD a £5 and a card for her birthday, we picked it up from Mum's house on Sunday. I decided that this was obviously a peace offering and so I was going to send him a card with some pitures of the DC's. I ordered them from Photobox on Monday but they havent arrived yet. I was going to write a letter and put the cards in, rather than sending a message on FB or an email.

Today I notice on FB that he had put a status which I assume is about me, saying that I am up my own arse because I hadnt said thank-you. I didnt see this until today, but he put it on Tuesday evening, 2 days after I got the card.

Then, when I didnt see the status, he has put another one, calling me a shitstirrer.

I am so upset. AIBU or should I have sent an email sooner? I just thought email would be a bit cold.

Marioandluigi Sat 10-Oct-09 19:13:43

Sorry about the title, I am having problems with my keyboard

cornsilk Sat 10-Oct-09 19:14:59

He sounds horrible.

allaboutme Sat 10-Oct-09 19:15:42

are you sure they are about you?
its a bit odd to call someone a shit stirrer for not saying thank you. shit stirrer means someone who causes trouble by gossping etc..

just ignore facebook, presume its not about you (its probably not) and send card as and when it arrives as you were planning to.

LyraSilvertongue Sat 10-Oct-09 19:16:19

We he sounds like he doesn't deserve any kind of a thank you now. What a pig.
Tbh though I would have sent a text or something within a day of getting the card.

PoppyIsApain Sat 10-Oct-09 19:16:33

YANBU you know you are doing a kind thing he sounds very immature imo smile

peanutbutterkid Sat 10-Oct-09 19:16:55

Hi -- how can U b sure the FB updates R about U?

WurzelBoot Sat 10-Oct-09 19:20:23

I agree with both cornsilk and allaboutme. If he is referring to you he sounds horrible. Ignore and send the card as usual.

And you are a far, far better person than me - I have a real blindspot for sending thank you cards. I'm properly rubbish. Thankfully none of my family cares and I see most of them enough to know that me and the children are grateful. I'm equally as rubbish at remembering birthdays. One year I was pleased with myself for remembering my Sisters and posting a card in time. The day after I remembered it was also my Dad's. On the same day. Has been since she was born.

famishedass Sat 10-Oct-09 19:22:22

why did he call you a shitstirrer?

Marioandluigi Sat 10-Oct-09 19:23:31

Basically he didnt tell my Mum he was getting married to OW, I told her in the end because he didnt have the bollocks to tell her himself, so he has slung the shit-stirring thing at me before. He sent me a flood of emails at the time, saying that I was bitter and nasty, and also jealous.

FABIsInTraining Sat 10-Oct-09 19:23:56

If he is talking about you I wouldn't be sending any photos. A basic thank you would do.

QuintessentialShadowsOfDoom Sat 10-Oct-09 19:40:22

I would send him a message on facebook, and say something like "Dear Pete, I have seen your comments on facebook, and I assume they refer to me, as you have just given dd a gift for her birthday. I had ordered some photographs of dd to enclose with the thank you card. I will send it as soon as I have them, unless you prefer a much quicker "thank you", in which case consider this it. Thank you for your generous gift for dds birthday."

PeedOffWithNits Sat 10-Oct-09 20:05:30

TBH he is only your ex step dad and not a very pleasant one by the sound of it, so I would not go out of my way to get pics of the DC for him, or want them to have anything to do with him at all really

a blunt thank you email would do

lilygish Sat 10-Oct-09 20:12:35

Send a letter it is more polite than an email and stop being so over sensitive

Longtalljosie Sat 10-Oct-09 20:12:41

So he buggers off, and hurts your mum, and hasn't even got the balls to tell her he's marrying someone else, and then gets all holier than thou over a fiver?

There's someone who thinks far too much of themselves...

SardineQueen Sat 10-Oct-09 20:16:21

Stop being oversensitive? Really?

Of course a couple of days is not long enough to get shirty about not receiving a thank you. Especially with the royal mail being what it is hmm

He sounds like an arsehole.

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 10-Oct-09 20:31:28

There is indeed someone up their own arse here but OP, it is not you. Do you really want this man to be a part of your life?
YANBU.

Dee78 Sat 10-Oct-09 22:27:43

YANBU at all. I was just thinking how impressively organised you are. When my DS was born it took me over a month to get the thank you cards out and I didn't even have to wait for photo's - I am notoriously crap at stuff like this though.

Do you think he was trying to find a reason to have a go at you due to your strained relationship, as he seems a bit arsey to me, or has he always expected a response with thanks this quickly in the past?

Marioandluigi Sat 10-Oct-09 22:37:43

I think you are right Dee, he was just looking for a reason to kick off, I am still waiting for a thanks for the present I sent for his last birthday.

I think I am more upset that hefound the need to attack me of FB (it really is the route of all evil!) rather than email me etc. I am in the kind of mood where I feel like sending him a message which outlines exactly what I think, but I wont. Im taking the moral highground!

katiestar Sat 10-Oct-09 22:41:30

Please don't do anything hasty.The comment on FB is probably not even about you and you'll look a right nana if you go in guns blazing !

ImSoNotTelling Sat 10-Oct-09 22:48:50

I have got out of the whole facebook thing - cancelled my account.

I am much more relaxed now smile and guess what - I am still in touch with everyone I care about grin

oldraver Sat 10-Oct-09 23:06:23

I'd send the fiver back to be honest

almostreal Sun 11-Oct-09 01:18:51

YANBU
He sounds awful I would post him the card and £5 back with a note explain that you had actually planned to send him a thank you letter and photos of your DD but due to his terrible behavior you no longer want any contact with him as such a person isn't fit enough to be around small children.

picmaestress Sun 11-Oct-09 09:44:12

I'm mystified why you're friends with him on facebook - why?
What sort of man puts passive aggressive attacks on family members in facebook status updates?! That's what 12 year old girls do, no?

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