right, warning, this is a very long rant!
We have been married for 2 years, and together for 7. I am now pregnant after a year of trying, and whilst to begin with, felt a bit poo, now I am feeling better, have much more energy etc. I have always done all the housework, despite us both working very full time jobs, and both of us earning the same.
The lack of him doing anything has always bothered me, and he knows it. we have sporadic weeks when he will feel guilty and help out - for a while he decideed, when I had a bad back, to start doing the washing - this soon tailed off, and now I do it all. he has only cleaned the toilet once in 7 years. he leaves empty cartons on the side, never shuts doors to any rooms, leaves lights on, leaves clothes all over the floor, never seems to understand the concept of picking things up after himself - he will walk over the pile of crap that I leave on the stairs for the next time anyone is going up - this is all, I am guessing, run of the mill stuff - except that riends of minehave mentioned that he is a really bad case - although knowing how bad he was, they say I should be pleased when he does the washing up - a year ago he wouldn't have known where the hot tap was! I do all the shopping, (he doesn't drive) sort all the bills and household finances, and generally keep us organised. It's a bit much, but I do it all because no-one else will. Its not that he doesn't do it if I ask, just that he doesn't seem to get that any of it needs doing!when I ask, its as if I am having to ask very politely, and thank him afterwards - but I do it everyday with no thanks!
Thing is, I can see that at some point I will need to slow down - I am only 12 weeks now, so fine for a while hopefully, but I have my career, and another small business outside of work, which brings in extra money.I also have a burst disc in my back, and sciatica, which can be agonising, so sometimes its just impossible.
He is irish, and whilst I don't mean to be rude, he sufers from having an irish mother - his dad has never even made himself a cup of tea - he actually doesn't know how to!
He does cook however, a fair amount, (he enjoys it - not the cleaning up or putting lids on things afterwards though) and he does do all of our diy (although I do all the cleaning up, the runs to the tip, the wood yard, etc) - we have been doing up our house every weekend practically for 4 years, so maybe I am being unreasonable to expect him to help out around the house during the week? Thing is, he enjoys knocking down walls, building things etc - he leaves ne the jobs he doesn't - like putting up coving! (none of it is up, as a result!)
I just worry that it will never change, I will always have to be the one running around after the children (him included) cleaning up, making sure everyone is wearing clothes, paying bills, and generally being the responsible one!
then again, maybe he is doing his bit, and I should stop moaning and get on with it.
aaargh!
Right, of to the tip, then to clean the toilet...
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AIBU?
to expect dh to help around the house more?
58 replies
holytoast · 10/10/2009 14:29
OP posts:
PoisonToadstool ·
11/10/2009 09:12
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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