I'm not, I know I'm not, but I want a bloody good rant about ds' NURSERY! Again!

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

So we have been having problems with ds' nursery, with him being bit, and with them not changing him out of dirty nappies. We put a rocket up them, and reduced his hours right down (he was going 2.5 days a week, now he goes just 1 day a week) and we thought they'd got the message.

This afternoon, I go to pick him up, and just before we leave, I take him to the potty to discover he's done a poo in his pull-up. He's obviously been dirty for some time because his bottom is very, very sore. Again. I'm really, really pissed off, and talk to the deputy manager (the manager had gone home) about it, explain that he really needs to be changed out of a poo straight away because of his sensitive skin. She nods in all the right places, and I kind of think, y'know, it's Friday evening, I've left dd in the car (asleep) - I just want to get out of there ASAP. So I leave it.

Then I go to get his coat and bag to discover that another child has gone home with his coat! The nursery assistant comes back with the other child's coat, and they're not even remotely similar - ds' coat is a green, waterproof fleece lined jobby (was pretty damned expensive too, actually) and the other kid has a brown fleecy duffle coat. How do you get the 2 mixed up?!

We've lost several items of clothing to nursery over the year and a half he's been there, most notably last winter's coat (was pretty annoyed about that too, at the time) and if his coat is not returned by Monday I will be billing the nursery for it - I can't afford to buy him another winter coat! fI just wonder if the other mum has waltzed off with ds' coat on purpose (I know I'm possibly being slight unreasonable here) - it's her kid who keeps biting ds - but ds' coat was of much better quality than her kid's, and it's a really nice one.



It feels like the last straw - I know it's a stupid thing to get wound up over - but really, how many chances do they get? I want to withdraw him right now, dh is more reluctant, as for him to work from home he really needs ds in nursery on Fridays.

[allaboutme]

It sounds infuriating.
Honestly I'd concentrate on the dirty nappy when going mad at the manager on Monday though. That is really unacceptable, its is them neglecting their duty, it is something they have been warned about repeatedly and it is something that causes your DS discomfort.
The coat thing is really not their fault though, they cant remember which child has which coat etc, thats really down to the parents.
My DS once came home with the wrong shoes on from nursery as DH picked him up instead of me and he had no clue which were DS's. The other boys parents were cross like you (it was raining, DS came home in wellies and the other boy got left with DSs sandals!)
The coat thing is annoying, but most likely a genuine mix up and if you go mad about it, it will dilute the impact of your complaint about the dirty nappy.
Good luck

[Northernlurker]

So what you're saying is that the nursry are basically taking no notice of your child - of what he wears, of if he smells?

Walk away. Paying someone for care that is actually making you miserable and angry is just not sustainable. And another thing - if care for your son is necessary for your husband to work from home then he can stop being so passive and work with you to sort this!

[MsHighwater]

Is there no other nursery or other arrangement you could make for childcare? I think after you spoke to them about not changing his nappy before, for it to happen again would make me, if I were in your place, want to take my child away from there.

[littleducks]

IS the coat named? the one thats lost?

[FABIsInTraining]

I withdrew my dd for less from a playschool.

[Danthe4th]

Call ofsted, at the very least they should be offering basic care, I would be extremely mad like you. Is there a committee who the manager is answerable too, I would actually put in a written complaint as they have to document it and reply within 21 days.

[lynniep]

yep - second issue first - is the coat named? If not, then its your responsiblity I'm afraid. you cannot expect a nursery to know what belongs to whom - even when they have their own pegs things do get mixed up. if the coat is named then its totally unacceptable and they need to track it down for you. (although as AAM stated - sometimes its the parents fault - my DH has picked up another childs coat before because someone had put it on DS's peg and he has no clue about this stuff)

first issue - too right you should be fuming. I had this issue with DS a few times at nursery. I made them write on the board that he needs his nappy changed as soon as he's done a poo and that he needs checking every half hour especially when outside (because they dont smell it and he doesnt say anything)

I also singled out certain staff that a)are very good at 'spotting' it and b) are cr*p - to the manager because I know who the worst culprits are. I wanted her to speak to them specifically about it and I'm pretty sure she did as they've improved.

It happens very very rarely now but I think they got the message because I havent seen a sore bum for a long while.

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

I'll be speaking to the manager on Monday, I think I'm focusing on the coat because I'm so mad about the nappy thing.

I'm on at dh to sort out the childcare thing with me. He says his main concern is whether I'll be able to cope with him full time!

[choccyp1g]

All children should have their nappy changed as soon as they've poo'd, not just the ones who tend to get sore. Any nursery that needs reminders to change the f**ing nappies, is not doing a good job. I would say this borders on neglect, and OFSTED should be informed.

[TAFKAtheUrbanDryad]

Coat is named, btw, but so was the last one and it didn't seem to make any difference.

[FABIsInTraining]

I label my kids coats in the obvious places and then a secret one. Just in case someone takes it home and wants to keep it as theirs...

[hairyclaireyfairy]

Take him out, sounds like they are not providing the most basic of care , i'd inform ofsted too. Yep you may have him full time for a while till you find somewhere else for him, at least he won't be neglected with you though

[diddl]

Re the coat.

I assume they need one for playing outside.

Can you make sure he has on old/2nd hand/charity shopebay one for nursery?

That said, they sound pretty cräp, tbh.

[mamadiva]

Re the jacket, we had a similair problem with our nursery when it was playtime.

I took DS out of the nursery after I went in one freezing cold day to find DS playing outside in his thin hoody whilst a child that had no jacket at all was running around with his duffle coat on , funnily enough turned out to be one of the staff's children and they were in a hurry in the morning so had forgotten and thought DS would be fine as he was the only one with an extra layer other than a jacket

When he started his new nursery I just bought a large rucksack instead of a little kids one and put DS' jacket in it and informed the staff to do the same if he was going out, they said that was fine and have'nt had a problem since.

[PeedOffWithNits]

the coat thing is the fault of other parents who dont own up & return wrong item / or deliberately nick your one in the first place!

leaving a child in a dirty nappy is inexcusiblae and I would remove the child from that nursery if it happened again

[mamadiva]

Meant to add I would take DS out straight away if I thought they were not catering to his needs things like changing nappies etc is basic care, if they are failing to do that what else are they doing (or not doing)?

[PeedOffWithNits]

don't nurseries keep spare coats? ours did - for when a child has forgotten one and they are going out to play, or someone falls in a huge puddle or something!

at the nursery staff putting someones elses coat on their own kid and letting the other kid be cold.not on at all.

[piscesmoon]

Is it the only nursery in the area? I would see about trying somewhere else, if possible.
I dare say you will get the coat back, especally if it is named. Perhaps someone different picked up the other DC and didn't know which coat he had. I would just get a couple of second hand coats for nursery so that it doesn't matter what happens to them.

[WurzelBoot]

Being left in a wet or dirty nappy is not a small thing. My son got very bad nappy rash when he went to his previous nursery. In fact it was pretty much every week and I had to solve it every weekend so he started on Monday reasonably OK.

The last straw for me was when he was left in a wet nappy/trousers for so long he came home with all the skin on his thighs rubbed off - we couldn't put him in trousers or use the bottom strap of his pushchair because it was so sore.

We took photos with the intention of making an official complaint about them (life got in the way unfortunately) and we spoke to another nursery to get him in there as quickly as we could.

Neither my Son nor my Daughter have had any nappy rash at the nursery where they are now when we're told 'they're a bit sore', it's generally nothing more than a tiny bit of pinkness. They also took me through their changing routine which is that only the keyworker is allowed to change that child's nappy; immediately if there is a poo, and every couple of hours for a wee. Temp workers are never allowed to do nappy changes; if the keyworker is away, the room leader takes over.

The coat is annoying, but the nappy-rash is physically damaging your child and there is no excuse for it.

[benfmsmum]

Probably not a helpful comment to you but I have the boot on the other foot - I probably have your coat!! My ds comes home wearing his coat and usually another coat, jumper or hat aswell!! I put a note in his bag and send the item back but I keep getting them back again and again!!

[pigletmania]

Wurzelboot that sounds horrific poor ds, i dont want to sound horrid but you should have taken pictures straight away and made a formal complaint, what if another child is left like that at that particular nursery. I used to work in a daycentre for adults with disabilities and as soon as someone soils themselves we would take their clothes off clean them up and put new ones on, if they did not come with any we would use our spare clothes. We would even launder and dry their soiled clothes and put them back on for when they go home.

[IWantAChickAndADuck]

TAFKA... withdraw your DS immediatley! Sounds so similar to the problems we had with my DS's nursery!! Final straw came when I picked him up, got home, took him to the toliet (recently potty trained) and saw he'd been for a 'number 2' and obviously no one at the nursery had noticed !!!! (his legs were covered in it!!)

[WurzelBoot]

Piglet, you're absolutely right, but unfortunately I was, erm, well having a nervous breakdown. So kind of missed the moment. Now I'm sane again I feel exactly as you do and I'm really annoyed with myself for not taking action. Even at the time I looked at his legs and just cried. I think the nursery manager was expecting a full scale screaming session and legal action which is what I'd do now. At the time, I was falling apart, pregnant and Husband was taking care of me and Son. We both work full time so we were more focussed on getting him out and somewhere safe meaning to do formal complaining as soon as we'd done that.

Then we were burgled and Husband got caught up in sorting insurance and the like.

That was a really, really good couple of weeks there!

[pigletmania]

oh no wurzelboot did nto realise no ofcourse not. I suffered pns and felt so down about dd crying all day and night and was on anti depressants, its only because my dh is not all domtesticated or that helpful that i had to muddle along now shes older he is a lot better

[pigletmania]

sorry i did not mean to be horrid