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to not invite the whole class to ds4 birthday party

(12 Posts)
oneofakind Thu 08-Oct-09 18:29:55

my ds will be four in a couple of months. i am planning on doing a joint birthday party with a friend to share stress/cost etc as have never thrown a kids party before (previous birthdays with family). ds at nursery with a class of 20 and invites to parties so far have gone to all classmates. my friend and I were thinking three friends each plus parents/carers and that seems like enough! there are a couple of children ds would really like to invite from nursery but I'm thinking it might be better to have none and just a couple from outside of nursery so no-one feels left out - what do you think?

Hulababy Thu 08-Oct-09 18:32:37

Whole class parties are common up to about Y1 (and beyond in smaller classes), but they are by no means compulsary. Infact some children don';t have a party at all.

So long as you are not inviting everyone in the class bar 2 or 3, or inviting all the boys except 1 or 2, then you should invite who your (and rather your DS) wants.

Your party, your choice.

2shoes Thu 08-Oct-09 18:38:50

why can't you invite the friends your ds wants? I don't get all this stuff, surely it is your ds's party so he should have the friends he wants

franklymydear Thu 08-Oct-09 18:39:48

nursery no

but in reception yes you have to

oneofakind Thu 08-Oct-09 18:46:14

thanks for swift replies
2shoes - yes happy to invite his two good nursery friends but was'nt sure of the etiquette iyswim - did'nt want others to feel left out but equally dont want it all to become unwieldy and stressful.

Hando Thu 08-Oct-09 18:46:25

You definitely don;t HAVE to invite them all. But if you are having a party in a hall/in your home then it doesn't really hurt. If you are doing a day trip out to Chessington / Bowling etc I can see quite why 3 friends each is plenty.

But surely you are not having a joint party (as in a party with games, entertainment, cakes and balloons etc) and only inviting 6 kids between the two of them? I find that a little odd.

cat64 Thu 08-Oct-09 18:47:25

Message withdrawn

oneofakind Thu 08-Oct-09 18:55:21

hando - cant host at home as live in a flat -may hire the local soft play place and think 10 kids max is more than enough personally (I find it stressful with one!). there will also be parents/carers too. err - wasnt thinking of entertainment - should I be (shock!) more likely a run around together and then sit down for food/drinks and then bubble machine/dancing/music and one game - pelotta (sp) or pin the donkey - is that not enough?? 1-2hours max bout 11am

Hando Thu 08-Oct-09 18:58:13

I think 10 kids is a good number for soft play parties. I have never known anyone to have the whole class to that type of party - too expensive!

The food is usually ghastly though, so I would do my own and take it with me. Where will you do the music and dancing / bubbles? I'm sure an indoor play centre wouldn't allow bubbles for health and safety (wet floor) reasons?

I have no idea what perlotta is or if you spelt it right smile

piscesmoon Thu 08-Oct-09 19:14:56

Do what you want to do and don't feel obliged just to return invitations. If people want the madness of the whole class that is up to them-it isn't your problem. Children that age much prefer a smaller do, with the DCs who are important to them. They are never equally friendly with the whole class. I agree with cat64-one guest per number of years is a good guide. Have more when it is important to them (the age that most people cut down!).

overmydeadbody Thu 08-Oct-09 19:16:40


You can ivite as many or as few people as you want to any parties you organise.

overmydeadbody Thu 08-Oct-09 19:18:50

Just invite the friends your ds wants to invite. Don't worry about etiquette etc., really. Life is too short to stress out about birthday parties.

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