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AIBU?

To think that 7 is too young to go to a friends sleepover?

96 replies

andirobobo · 08/10/2009 13:02

Wel DH thinks I am because he thinks I dont like the girl!

I have no problem with the girl or her family either - she is a bit loud and bossy but she is 7 FGS!

DD has been invited with a few others to a sleep over at a school friends house. I think she is a bit too young for all that sort of stuff! Too much Hannah Montana watching etc! Her best friend is not going and she is vague about who else is going.

In theory it would be ok, but it is the end of half term - a saturday night, but we are having a family party (in the day) either the sat or sun for my Dad - at his house and my brother and family are coming. So all I can see is a tired girl going to a family party and being a PITA as she generally is if she hasnt slept well. She also has a swimming lesson in the morning which perhaps she could miss, but I try to instill that you have to go to activities whether you like it nor not as they are paid for - I suppose she could miss it once, bu has already missed 1 of this 10 week session so far.

I know she will proabably end up going so I can just keep the peace in the house, but what would you do / have done? If she doesnt go, what is a reasonable excuse?!!

OP posts:

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BiteOfFun · 08/10/2009 13:04

Just say that you have a family party the next day and don't want her tired. It shouldn't be a problem.

argento · 08/10/2009 13:06

No, 7 isn't too young - but you have other reasons for not wanting her to go.

diddl · 08/10/2009 13:06

Unless your daughter is very clingy/shy/doesn´t want to, I would say it´s plenty old enough.

But, if it doesn´t fit with plans you already have, don´t bother.

PVish · 08/10/2009 13:07

god no.

PVish · 08/10/2009 13:07

i mean its not too young fgs

Pyrocanthus · 08/10/2009 13:07

Sleepover at 7 - OK, I think if it's one child staying with one other child and just having a slightly late night - parties are far worse, because it's so much harder to get them all to sleep.

I think it's far too close to going back to school, to be honest. If it were the beginning of half term then maybe, but it takes children of that age days to recover.

There's your excuse.

Smithagain · 08/10/2009 13:08

I don't think it's necessarily too young. DD1 is 7 and has been to one sleepover. She hasn't been to one with several people at it, but she'd probably cope and have fun, as long as they are people she's genuinely friends with.

The clash with your Dad's party and swimming is more of an issue. If you're uncomfortable with it, just say that it clashes with a previous engagement. If it's in half term, she certainly won't be the only one taht can't make it.

witcheseve · 08/10/2009 13:08

I don't see the problem, you are the parent, if you have other plans then you have other plans.

I cannot remember when mine started sleepovers, don't think 7 is too young though. DD grew out of them at around 11 she just wanted her own bed then.

Blackduck · 08/10/2009 13:08

7 is not too young IMO (ds been having sleepovers since he was 5 - only one child at a time and it is really a kind of extended babysitting!), but you obviously aren't happy so your decision...

supersalstrawberry · 08/10/2009 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

andirobobo · 08/10/2009 13:10

I think they chose that weekend as it is Halloween so I guess they would be going trick or treating - a whole other issue!

I just know how she is and my Mum knows how she is when she is tired!

DH is always at work and doesnt have to deal with her!!

OP posts:

Hulababy · 08/10/2009 13:10

DD has been to a sleep over at friends on a number of occasions. She is 7y. She did sleepovers at her close friends (I am friends with her parents too) from being about 5y, and has since done sleepovers at a couple of school friend's houses (one mum I know very well since they started school; other mum less well). She loves them.

Yes, they get tired - but it isn't every week. But at 7y, this is the age they actually really start to love this kind of adventure. They plan midnight featsts, etc - but IME are rarely able to stay up long enough lol!

DD has never been really horrid the next day. She copes perfectly fine with reduced sleep. If we were doing something the next day (I'd possibly skip swimming, but then DD's is first thing in morning) I'd make sure she has chance for some quiet time, sat reading a book on her bed, etc. for a while beforehand if I could. But DD normally rallies round at a party anyway.

biglips · 08/10/2009 13:11

andi - my just turned 5 years old dd1 had been asking me for sleepovers ever since she was 4 as she overheard her older sister talking about it (as its dp's dd and she lives with her mum) so since then...she cant wait to have them....even though i have said ill think about it!

i think 5 is too young but she is confident.

7 is fine and try and find a night where youre not busy the next day as im sure she will enjoy it but you know your dd well to know if she will be ok to sleep over. it the sleepover far?

GetOrfMoiLand · 08/10/2009 13:11

No, it's not too young. But it is also not obligatory, just say she can't go because of family committments the next day, that's perfectly fair.

DD started having sleepovers from 6.

gorionine · 08/10/2009 13:12

I agree with you Op but we are in a minority, I can fairly say I am the only one of that opinion in my cirle of friends.

A reasonable excuse IMO is always the truth, whatever it is.

Hulababy · 08/10/2009 13:13

DD has been to one party with 4 or 5 girls - she was 6y. She loved it. They finally fell asleep about 11pm I think and were awake by 6:30am! Glad it wasn't my house.

Bt you know what - they loved it and were so excited about it before and after.

And not one of them struggled with going back to school the Monday after - was on the Saturday night on a weekend IIRR. They wre all perfectly fine - an early night ont he Sunday and right as rain.

andirobobo · 08/10/2009 13:15

Hulababy - swimming is at 8.45am so she would have to miss that!

Biglips - she is the same as L - been desparate for one or to go to one and it may end up being just her and her friend. Fortunately she lives about 20 doors away from us!!!!

I am in two minds about it, but I guess I should just let her go and see what the consequences are the next day - if she is a grotbag, then so be it! My brothers two girsl 4 and 2 are variable in their behaviour so she could just sit in the corner and whinge / cry!

OP posts:

MmeGoblindt · 08/10/2009 13:16

DD had her first sleepover this year, as did DS. They are 7yo and 5yo.

Do you think that she is too young or are you worried she might be grumpy at the party.

If the party is the problem then just say no because of previous plans.

Be prepared for a month of moaning though, if DD were invited to a sleepover on Halloween we would never hear the end of it were we not to allow her to go.

andirobobo · 08/10/2009 13:20

I know the moaning at this age is terrible!

OP posts:

mazzystartled · 08/10/2009 13:22

its not too young

but you just have too much else going on that weekend.

tell her she can go another time

juuule · 08/10/2009 13:23

I don't like mine sleeping out and put a ban on sleepovers at primary school age. Even after that age they know that it's only for things like birthdays or special occasions(although I am more flexible the older they get).

I just say no, explain that I'm not comfortable with it and they are usually okay after the initial complaining.

gorionine · 08/10/2009 13:25

Same here juuule.

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CaptainUnderpants · 08/10/2009 13:27

7 not too young.

My Ds was 7 in the summer and instead of having a party had two mates over. Alot cheaper than a party !

However if you are planning a family get to gether the next day then beware that your DD will be very tired . My Ds fell asleep at 5pm the following day and woke up 14hrs later !

bigTillyMint · 08/10/2009 13:33

7 is not too young - our DC have been doing sleepovers since the youngest was 4 (at close friends only). Apart from one family who still let them stay awake far too long, they usually go to sleep at a sensible time and only need to go to bed earlier the next night.

I think you have other reasons for not wanting her to go, which are all valid. If she does not get enough sleep (which is highly likely), you will probably have a mare with her the next day

carocaro · 08/10/2009 13:34

My DS is 7 and he had two sleepovers in the summer hols, but only one friend each time, and he loved it! of course there was the usual giggling and hoo haa, but it was the summer and they are ment to have fun.

I knew the boys and their Mums well and they have been at school together since pre-school and they were very local.

He went to a sleepover with 2 boys at a friends house, I was a bit, oooh will he be ok, and he loved that too, he was totally knackered and vile the next day due to the late night.

But you do what YOU think is right for YOU and YOURS.

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