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To want my DH to stop farting like some old dog...

(19 Posts)
sugardumpling Wed 07-Oct-09 20:20:02

and totally stinking out my livingroom angry

BLEEPyouYOUbleepingBLEEP Wed 07-Oct-09 20:28:02

What makes you think you're so fkg special not to have a farting DH like the rest of us eh?? (BTW mine does ones that smell like roses grin)

6feetundertheGroundhogs Wed 07-Oct-09 20:31:04

What ARE you feeding him? grin

alsmutko Wed 07-Oct-09 20:31:26

I think it's a man thing. They have no shame. If I've got wind and I can't get to a loo, I do try to be subtle about it (assuming it's not a smelly one!). But my dp lifts one buttock (if he's seated) and holds his breath and pushes. And then apologises like it was an accident. Doesn't usually do it when we've got company, just with me & dd. Drives me nuts. Tried telling him one of these days he'll push out more than just air but it makes no difference. All I'm saying is I'm not clearing up any mess...

WailingGhoshe Wed 07-Oct-09 20:49:13

DH is so bad, that one night I awoke to be physically sick! Made him sleep in the spare room for the rest of the night, I WAS NOT GIVING UP the memory foam matress in our bed for the lumpy spare.

I did have to light candles in the bedroom tho.

Actually I light candles most nights!

SecretNinjaChipmunk Wed 07-Oct-09 21:54:33

does lighting something get rid of the smeel though? dp farts all the time and tells me he 'can't help it'. Yeah right, do you do it all day at work in your shared office? do you do it on the bus? no you bloody well don't so don't do it when you're sat on the sofa next to me! he loves curry too and man, thats just smells BAD

ProcessYellowC Wed 07-Oct-09 22:00:41

My DH could write a post here about his stinky DW. blush

I just tell him how lucky he is to have a wife who practically encourages him to "let it all out"... so I don't look so bad.

If you can't relax and fart at home then where can you? grin

SquirrelTrap Wed 07-Oct-09 22:05:34

I have a friend, whose DH was given a written warning at work for farting.

That is horrific

Imagine

holytoast Wed 07-Oct-09 22:06:40

mine has been gettin in the car, waiting till the doors are shut, and then letting a silent one out followed with a proud snigger for years.

more fool him though - I am 12 weeks pregnant and have devloped terrible lactose intolerance, accompanied by really stinky emissions. hahahah! grin

onepieceoflollipop Wed 07-Oct-09 22:07:49

A written warning shock

Neither dh nor I seem to experience this type of problem.

However if I was in that position then I would be getting a medical note and taking further advice. (assuming the person concerned was not deliberately farting in the office in disrespectful way?)

texasholdem Wed 07-Oct-09 22:08:51

Unfortunately I have really bad IBS and if I hold in wind, my stomach gets really really sore and I get horrible spazisms (sp?!) in my stomach. Obviously I hold it in while in work or in public etc but while at home I just 'break wind grin' whenever and wherever I need to.

DP is used to it as I've had to do it for years so pretty much for the whole 6yrs that we have been together blush.

This probably makes me sounds disgusting but honestly if I had to hold it in 24/7 I think I would burst! Plus mine smell like roses grin

SquirrelTrap Wed 07-Oct-09 22:10:30

I think he probably had a medical problem.

But Jesus Christ.....the shame!

texasholdem Wed 07-Oct-09 22:11:31

ProcessYellowC - thank goodness, for a minute I thought I was going to be the only stinky one!! Haha, yip I think the same, my DP should be happy that he can just 'let it out' without being nagged!!

onepieceoflollipop Wed 07-Oct-09 22:12:41

Squirrel I am still a bit shock. It it's a medical problem then this (imo) may be discrimination. Fair enough, it is unpleasant for those around him, but if the man can't help it due to illness then that is wrong (of them, not him I mean)

Megglevache Wed 07-Oct-09 22:13:18

Oh god I do it in the supermarket, car park you name it. But in front of my dh is dutch ovening. NEVER!

Dh in the other hand is a very loud and prouder.

sugardumpling Wed 07-Oct-09 22:28:52

Don't get me wrong I think its definately better out than in, but he smells BAD shock think something crawled up his arse and died.

texasholdem Wed 07-Oct-09 22:37:46

haha, use some scented candles!

JustAnotherManicMummy Wed 07-Oct-09 22:55:06

Buy him a session of colonic irrigation for Xmas.

That might sort him out for a bit.

zazen Wed 07-Oct-09 23:00:11

Be careful with lighting candles with that going on - there might be an explosion grin

I thought my DH singed the hair off my leg one night - I actually felt my skin burning under the sheets after he let rip.... I wear full battle dress now: pj tops and bots.

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