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Is my husband being thick or what?

(154 Posts)
carocaro Wed 07-Oct-09 17:09:43

Just come in, two hungry kids with one who has pooed himself.

I sort out the poo one. I shout to DH who is upstairs to throw me down new pants and trousers, he yells back, for who?

I then tell DH to bring bin round, whilst I make tea, what bin from where? he says 'eer the massive black wheelie bin we just nearly hot on the driveway that has been there 2 days? He said I might have wanted the kitchen bin taking round somewhere. Where I have no idea, to the pub for a drink maybe?

He brings in the food shopping whilst I make tea, I rell him to take the bag of clothes upstairs (as it has a couple of xmas stocking fillers in) I am making tea and I have just discovered all the bags are in our bedroom including the food one's.

Do I have to give every tiny fucking detail or what? It's very very tiring.

Men.

MintyCane Wed 07-Oct-09 17:12:04

ha ha ha grin family life great isn't it grin ask him to make you a cuppa and see what happens wink

Fluffypoms Wed 07-Oct-09 17:12:14

wow sounds like my dh.....
Lacking common sense big time smile

HolyBumoley Wed 07-Oct-09 17:13:21

I haven't read your post, but the answer is almost certainly yes. grin

Dragonfly73 Wed 07-Oct-09 17:13:31

Sorry, i know you have had a rough day but the thought of discovering my grocery shopping in the wardrobe brought a smile to my face on this dreary wet afternoon.

you are not being unreasonable but still v. amusing!

carocaro Wed 07-Oct-09 17:14:56

he's just gone out now in a huff!

And while we are at it

YOU CAN OPEN THE BACK DOOR AND PUT THE CARDBOARD AND TINS AND BOTTLES IN THE RECYCLE BOX RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR YOU ARSEHOLE. WHY MAKE THE EFFORT TO WALK INTO THE UTILITY ROOM AND JUST PUT THEM ON THE SIDE 50 CM FROM THE BOXES?

OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR YOU LAZY BASTARD!

carocaro Wed 07-Oct-09 17:16:13

I know salmon fillets 8 for ten pounds and frozen vege on the bloody bed!

Glas it made you smile!

MedusaHead Wed 07-Oct-09 17:17:17

My DH says I tell him what to do all the time and yet if I am not specific enough he doesn't do it properly. If he dresses the DC's he'll put loads of layers on them in the summer and a t shirt on in the winter, stuff like that.

They just have no common sense. When our kettle broke my DH says "Well,I can't make a cup of tea then." Err, perhaps you could boil water in a pan or heat it up in the microwave? hmm

HowlingAtTheMoon Wed 07-Oct-09 17:18:28

Do you live in my house? Are you, in fact, me?

<freaked out by duplicate life>

borderslass Wed 07-Oct-09 17:18:51

I know salmon fillets 8 for ten pounds and frozen vege on the bloody bed!

I'd kill him shock

Morloth Wed 07-Oct-09 17:44:46

My husband is a very intelligent man who does a very hard (and technical!) job. Really clever.

However, needs written instructions for doing a load of washing. Needs step by step instruction for making beans on toast and requires assistance to run the vacuum cleaner. I overheard the bin man saying FFS under his breath this morning and I just knew it was because DH has put the recycling bags in the bin and the rubbish bags on the side.

He can however make a killer cup of tea, so I shall keep him for a bit longer. I did mention last night though that I was warming to the idea of polyandry. Could have a husband for shagging, one for making the money, another for yard work, one for childcare and one for doing stuff around the house. I quite generously told him he could be shagging husband if he liked. wink

MrsVik Wed 07-Oct-09 18:22:59

Haha!!

I'm so glad it's not only my man. I sometimes suspect he's actually VEEERY clever and does everything wrong just so I won't ask him again. Then I think... nah!

katiestar Wed 07-Oct-09 18:24:22

Its a ploy .They do things so badly thatyou don't ask them again.

corriefan Wed 07-Oct-09 18:41:20

snap re recycling. We have a bag hanging on the back of the door literally touching the kitchen bin and dh still nearly always puts recyclables in the main bin. WHY? I've used this system for over a year.

When I say could you put the kettle on that is all he does (if he remembers)

Detailed instructions are needed for everything and the amount of times I've come back to a sandwich I made for him to take sitting on the side are countless.

Very much like the idea of multiple husbands for different tasks but can you imagine if they all lacked common sense?

Miggsie Wed 07-Oct-09 18:43:39

My friend once asked her DH to "clear up this mess" to which he replied "how would you define mess, in this instance?"

I fell over laughing.

mrsasp Wed 07-Oct-09 18:47:52

Message withdrawn

lovechoc Wed 07-Oct-09 18:51:44

he is a man, what do you expect. Lol.

ChunkyMonkeysMum Wed 07-Oct-09 18:58:07

This thread has made me giggle so much !!! I've just read it out to my DH & even he had a chuckle......

.......however, I was giggling at his expense as he is also one of these that needs instructions for everything grin

bluebump Wed 07-Oct-09 19:01:57

Sounds like my DP, I had to work one evening last week and had pre made DS's bottle and dinner, both just ready to heat up. Told DP that I had done this to which he replied "I can look after him you know"...cue me coming home at 8pm to a crying baby -

me: "what time did he have dinner"
DP hmm erm he didn't
me "what time did he have his bottle?"
DP hmm erm, he didn't ..."but I did give him a bath!"...

Oh well, that's ok then! Useless!

arolf Wed 07-Oct-09 19:02:31

gah, this sounds like my DP too! he's meant to be helping me by being on paternity leave just now, but instead it feels like I've got 2 babies to look after - he needs detailed instructions for EVERYTHING. he's lovely, and tries so hard, bless him, but how fucking hard is it to do the washing up without instructions?! ('Arolf, how much washing up liquid should I use? what temperature should the water be?' seriously. despite the fact he normally does the washing up 3 or 4 times a week...)

so no, yanbu...

Conundrumish Wed 07-Oct-09 19:13:12

Oh my God, the cheating swine, my husband's clearly got several wives.

My personal bugbear is 'where's the sellotape' when it has been in a same flammin' drawer for seven and a half years grin.

He is lovely though.

letsblowthistacostand Wed 07-Oct-09 19:28:43

LOL @ 'I overheard the bin man saying FFS under his breath this morning and I just knew it was because DH has put the recycling bags in the bin and the rubbish bags on the side.'

DH is not so bad re: cleaning but I have very low standards. Can never understand why it's so hard to put the loo roll on the holder though.

sixlostmonkeys Wed 07-Oct-09 19:39:40

all sounds like my ex
I had to put step by step instructions on the waste bin and when I asked him if he would put the towels in the washing machine (as we were on our way out) he did exactly as I had asked; he put them in - didn't occur to him to put powder in and switch the machine on.

pollydianasmummy Wed 07-Oct-09 19:41:36

my husband would do the same. drives me insane.

Squishabelle Wed 07-Oct-09 19:48:46

Can any man put a toilet roll on the holder? Mine cant even put the empty roll in the bin. And he is incapable of closing any cupboard or drawer after he has opened them for something - drives me frigging insane.

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