WIBU to have walked out of this party and to give up on this friendship?(5 Posts)
Was kind of reminded about this by another thread.
Basically, DF and I have been friends for about 7 years. Met her through another friend, and we used to hang out a lot. We then both moved to London, but because of busy-ness and not living near each other, we saw each other less and less (ultimately only a couple of months). There have been times in the past when I've invited her to stuff and she didn't respond, or sent her a "how are things going?" type message, no response. Anyway - it was her birthday recently, and as I missed her birthday the previous year (not in country), I thought I should go along. I had sent her a message a few weeks before, again, how are things going? with no response. I turned up, with nice present, got greeted by her and then went to get a drink. Most of the other people at the party were really good friends of hers from school (who I don't really know), and were just talking amongst themselves. I had a little chat with someone I knew, but once her boyfriend arrived, she just talked to him. Talked to another person, then she started chatting to someone else. I then ended up just sitting, on my own, between two people having conversations with people next to them, for about half an hour. DF saw this (she kept on smiling at me from across the table) but did nothing, didn't come over and say anything. The people she spoke to all evening were her friends from school and someone from her course, but not a word to me. And I hadn't seen her for months. Eventually, tired and drunk emotional, I just left without saying good bye. A couple of days after I received a text from DF saying "hello my lovely girls. Now that I've had a day to recover, just saying thanks to everyone for coming and putting up with my drunkenness and self-indulgence". Haven't heard from her since.
Whaddya guys think? I'm thinking - can't be bothered with this friendship anymore.
nah, let it go....life's too short.
To be fair, I'm sure your friend wasn't meaning to be horrible and won't know how upset you were at party but she's obviously not that bothered whether she sees you or not (not replying to texts speaks volumes in my opinion and is so RUDE! my pet hate!)
give it up but don't be bitter about it, you had a good time while it lasted and you've moved on.
Well, there you go, some (rare) friendships are forever, others just run their course. Sounds like this one may just be fizzling out, tbh...
Well, YAB a tiny bit U. She was probably a bit overwhelmed with everything. Maybe you could have tried to join in with the conversation that the people were having? Or kept your eye out for somebody else by themselves? She probably had people coming up to her all night wanting her attention. Yes, she should have noticed you were a bit isolated, but it seems a bit mean to end the friendship.
It does sound as though, while she bears you no ill will, the friendship doesn't matter as much to her as it does to you. So it would be best for you to let go and move on. I often advise people who are frantically trying to hang on to sexual-romantic partners the same way: you can't make someone maintain a relationship with you in a way that meets your needs if that person doesn't want to do so, and trying to make someone love you or be your friend is exhausting and bad for your mental health.
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