Disclaimer: I am not a mummy but I am a nanny which is why I started posting here. Please don't be cross.
The situation is this. Through a mutual friend I met this guy who is quite a bit older than me (I'm 22 - I reckon he's thirty or thereabouts) and who quickly developed a crush on me. I have absolutely zero romantic interest in him, completely not my type, no chemistry etc. So I decided to ignore it and just be normal-friendly, nothing special, when someone asks me if I'm "hooking up" with him. This freaks me out a bit since it means he's been talking about me with his friends in a way that suggests we might indeed be "hooking up", when I was pretty sure that I had done nothing indicate that possibility.
So I decided to put him straight - to be honest, I couldn't be bothered to be extra careful about what I said and did around him in case he thought it was a come on and I just wanted to make sure that he knew where he stood. I thought that way he could move on or whatever and it would be fairly painless.
DISASTER.
He is now saying that he can't trust his friends and he's going to "shed" some of them (I named no names, in fact I didn't even imply any of his friends), that he can't believe I took any of this at "face value" and should have given him a chance before condemning our relationship to mere friendship (he says that knowing whether to want to be "friends or lovers" comes with "time". Not in this case, darling. I just don't fancy you.) and that the best course of action would have been to "ignore" him. Maybe, but wouldn't he have been rather puzzled if I'd just started to ignore him? I just wanted to be up front so that he wouldn't get his hopes up. I know that when I like someone I see what I want to see - every little thing's a clue. I didn't want that hanging around my actions.
The worst thing is that I'm worried he really will get rid of a load of friends (apparently this was "the straw that broke the camels back"). I feel terrible.
I guess my question is, have I been a massive bitch? I wish now that I'd just left it alone but it's too late for that.
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AIBU?
to think this guy needs to get an effing grip
23 replies
daisymaybe · 06/10/2009 14:59
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