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to find life easier when dh away?

(53 Posts)
ClaudiaSchiffer Mon 05-Oct-09 22:35:40

Dh has just returned from a short business trip. Although we (me + 2 dds) love him and missed him, BY GOD it was easier when he was away.

We could just get on with it, no huffing and puffing from dh, no dh to whinge when the girls are having a tantrum (2 yr old). I could just deal with them without concerning myself with dh reaction.

I didn't have to fuss about cooking 2 sets of meals - I just ate with kids at tea time, or made myself something easy (gnocchi yum) once they'd gone to bed.

I didn't have to have the tv on all evening - I could read. Bliss.

To be honest we all had a lovely time.

I feel a bit guilty about it as I do love him, he's a good dad etc. It was just SOOOO much easier.

CybilLiberty Mon 05-Oct-09 22:36:49

I LOVE it when dh is back v.v. late or even better , away. My own crappy food, my own crappy television, perfect.

thesecondcoming Mon 05-Oct-09 22:53:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClaudiaSchiffer Mon 05-Oct-09 22:56:11

God, it's lovely isn't it.

So relaxing.

The lawn needs mowing though, so I s'pose it's good he's home.

chaostrulyreigns Mon 05-Oct-09 22:58:44

love getting into a cold bed when my DH away, and being able to go to sleep without listening to his Darth Vader breathing.

LovelyDear Mon 05-Oct-09 23:00:22

i love knowing that everything is where i put it, if there's a mess it's mine, no resentment, pluse a feeling of smug self-sufficiency. BUT i'd hate it to be a permanent state of affairs, of course.

SixtyFootDoll Mon 05-Oct-09 23:01:10

My Dh is away form today until Thurs
an we are all sooo chilled
I had pesto pasta for tea and wil have the same each night until he gets home
Dont feel guilty , enjoy!

TrinityHasAVampireRhino Mon 05-Oct-09 23:01:29

Appreciate your dhs please

ClaudiaSchiffer Mon 05-Oct-09 23:05:34

So sorry Trinity, I do appreciate him, we are very lucky. And we are glad he's home really. It was just VERY nice to have a bit of a break that's all.

TrinityHasAVampireRhino Mon 05-Oct-09 23:07:04

I apologise
I shouldn't have posted

I did feel like that when he went away for a short time too
its easier being the only adult in the house
I'm going now

CrystalQueen Mon 05-Oct-09 23:09:35

Ooh SixtyFootDoll that's exactly what I am having tomorrow for tea -DH is going away for the night and DD is at her granny's for a few days. I love them both but this will be the first night on my own in 11 months (since DD was born). YANBU to enjoy a bit of time apart - you will appreciate him more when he gets back.

fedupintheoffice Mon 05-Oct-09 23:23:53

trinity, are you ok sweetheart? have you lost your DH?

6feetundertheGroundhogs Mon 05-Oct-09 23:37:00

DHs are sometimes just like having another toddler in the house, but one that doesn't have a bed time....

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 05-Oct-09 23:37:52

No need for any apologies Trinity, I can't imagine how a thread like this would make you feel
Hope you're ok

Seabright Mon 05-Oct-09 23:38:05

What is it with pesto pasta? That's what I always have when he's not here. I LOVE it!

Pikelit Mon 05-Oct-09 23:52:18

When dp goes away I go straight into the freezer for fishfingers.

Admittedly they are Waitrose, sustainably sourced, haddock jobbies but for all that, they are junk. But such delightfully solitary junk!

I appreciate him at home and we are as contented as anything but I must confess to not actually pining when he's away.

SixtyFootDoll Tue 06-Oct-09 07:48:14

sorry trinity - to be insensitive.
Do appreciate him, but I like my own space now and again.
Good to see you back btw.

FourArms Tue 06-Oct-09 07:56:20

DH is Navy, and so away for months at a time at the moment. Because he's gone for so long, I have good days and bad days, but there are no rows, which is quite lovely. The mess I can currently see is all mine (well, created by the DSs, but mine to sort out!), no-one wakes me up showering before I have to get up, I'm not cross about going to bed by myself because DH is downstairs watching TV.... there are good sides definitely!

TrinityHasAVampireRhino Tue 06-Oct-09 09:44:30

sorry about last night

on a lighter note
dh loved pesto pasta too so we had it loads with lots of garlic bread and cheese on top

easiest yummiest meal ever smile

StealthPolarBear Tue 06-Oct-09 09:47:36

I used to love pesto and went right off it when pg, never got my taste back. Not fair!!

Jux Tue 06-Oct-09 10:00:37

Yup, when dh is away or out it's bliss.

BigusBumus Tue 06-Oct-09 10:05:23

I secretly enjoyed my 6months as a single mother. Not that i don't love and value my partner, but it was great to have only myself and child to look after, no shirts to iron, proper meals to make. No one to moan about how much wine i'd drunk, i could watch BB without anyine knowing, no snoring etc. Fab!

jcscot Tue 06-Oct-09 10:08:01

My husband has been away for the past five and half months in Afghanistan where, he assures me, he has been having lots of fun!

I can honestly say that I don't pine for him. We've spent so much time apart in ten years of marriage that I'm used to him not being there. Obviously I worry about him and I'd be devastated should he not come home, but I only really miss him in a abstract kind of way. When he's not here I just crack on with things, manage the boys, square away whatever admin needs doing and enjoy the chance to relax quietly in the evneings with a good book or a film.

Given the nature of Forces life, there is no point in me pining away for something we can't change - I married him knowing that he'd spend significant chunks of time away, so I chose to make the most of the solitary time I have. Then, when he does come home, I enjoy the time we have together before he has to go away again.

TrinityHasAVampireRhino Tue 06-Oct-09 10:08:43

lol tis funny really
I didn't really find it so much fun
I never had to worry about making 'proper' meals just cause dh was there, we neverironed anything and of wanted ironed shorts, he did them himself

we watched BB together, well most of it sad

and we had a spare room for the snoring grin

TrinityHasAVampireRhino Tue 06-Oct-09 10:10:17

maybe thats why I dont relish time s he was away cause he was in the forces for most of our marraige and on submarines
so when he went away for 4 months we had zero contact

sucks big time

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