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To have offered DD's school jumper to her friend's mum?

(23 Posts)
dilemma456 Mon 05-Oct-09 15:07:09

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Hulababy Mon 05-Oct-09 15:09:30

Maybe it touched a raw nerve in the other mother for some reason. But no, YANBU. She was definitely very rude to you, and very uncalled for.

Glad another mum was able to make use out of it.

StealthPolarBear Mon 05-Oct-09 15:09:32

well I don't have school aged children but I don't think so! She sounds a bit strange

bigstripeytiger Mon 05-Oct-09 15:10:07

How strange of her. Regardless of money issues it makes no sense envionmentally not to reuse things that can be reused.

HKT Mon 05-Oct-09 15:10:51

YANBU - what a strange reaction!
If we hadn't had so many hand-downs, my 3 would probably be at school naked!
Don't bother offering her anything else, I'm sure you'll find queue's of mothers wanting to take you up on that offer.

AMumInScotland Mon 05-Oct-09 15:12:31

Most people wouldn't have an issue with that, I'd have thought. But maybe they've got some money troubles and she's scared that people have noticed? Or else she's very stuck-up and would hate anyone to think she ever had secondhand stuff?

Disembodied3 Mon 05-Oct-09 15:12:59

God, I'll take anything offered by anyone!

Maybe money IS toght for her but shes embaressed about it and therefore defensive?

But YANBU - was a great gesture!

Stigaloid Mon 05-Oct-09 15:18:15

Think you touched a nerve - YANBU. And you are very kind and generous.

groundhogs Mon 05-Oct-09 15:18:45

OH FGS, some people... shock

Well, she may not be poor in cash terms, but certainly is in spirit, the language she used certainly indicates she is!

I just gave my neighbour a pair of trainers DS grew out of. I asked if any of her 4DC had size 9.5, and she practically yanked my arm off! They are too big for her lad, but he'll be able to wear them for ages, so I'm really pleased.

I can't bear throwing perfectly good stuff, and would prefer to give them to a person rather than just recycle them. I don't know anyone around here yet, so I was delighted i could give them to her.

Will you have occasion to see that woman again very often? If so, just say to her that you never meant to offend, just noticed her daughter looked about the right size for the jumper, "but anyway, another mum took it, so all's well that ends well etc. No hard feelings youflamingloon!!"

Stigaloid Mon 05-Oct-09 15:19:16

I am also a taker of anything on offer - am due a DD in December and have been given 6 bin bags of clothes from age newborn to 4 years old, including shoes, hats, coats etc. I don't think i will be needing to buy her a single item of clothing until she gets to school!

freename Mon 05-Oct-09 15:20:41

I'd have gratefully bitten your arm off, the offended mum obviously has strong feelings re second hand clothes!
DS1 managed to lose both his sweatshirts in the first week this term. If anyone finds them (they have his name on) please return them. grin

TrickOrTrefusis Mon 05-Oct-09 15:21:35

That's such a pity. I suppose some people are just sensitive about it, but you were hardly to know that she was that type. It was very rude of her to react like that to your offer. It's only good practical sense to pass on good-quality uniform, and I've never had any reactions like that with passing on things belonging to ours. It has nothing to do with being "poor".

This woman must have taken it personally, thinking that your offer was particularly about HER and not about being green/practical. Fair enough - someone else got the benefit of your kindness and I'm sure you won't be offering to her again.

tibni Mon 05-Oct-09 15:25:04

I both accept and pass down clothes and toys. Most people I know do the same.

Ivykaty44 Mon 05-Oct-09 15:28:04

I think the answer was " no but you are fuc&ing rude"

Thank goodness the jumper went to someone who would appreciate your kindness and not an ignorant cow.

If you had offered it to me I would have brought you a a big bar of galaxy and been very grateful smile

ConFuschias Mon 05-Oct-09 15:30:03

What Ivykate said.

Stupid woman.

pofacedandproud Mon 05-Oct-09 15:31:28

my daughter is dressed head to toe in a friend's daughter's clothes. Very odd behaviour from the woman in question.

dilemma456 Mon 05-Oct-09 15:34:14

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dilemma456 Mon 05-Oct-09 20:46:43

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bruces Mon 05-Oct-09 20:55:11

How weird that woman was, my last DD has had so many hand me downs it's scary,most of her school uniform has been given to me and I'm so glad especially when I saw her and her friend using her cardi for a skipping rope!grin

carocaro Mon 05-Oct-09 20:57:24

a tad sensitive me thinks

I just passed over a Beavers jumper and she was thrilled!

The mother that is!

For fecks sake, not as if you were giving her a UNICEF food bundle!

StillSquiffy Mon 05-Oct-09 20:58:09

Our DC's school is v posh, and we still descend like vultures on each other's hand-me-downs.

CrankOfTheScrew Mon 05-Oct-09 21:03:56

Nooo YANBU. You were kind to do that. The mother was plain rude.

LauraIngallsWilder Mon 05-Oct-09 21:09:32

Some people cant bear second hand stuff - whether they are poor or not

I however love a bargain or freebie

She was rude but perhaps she thought (wrongly) that you think you are better than her/pitiful of her - you know what I mean, hopefully!

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