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Awkward situation-probably of my own making but AIBU not to actually mention this...long!

(20 Posts)
thesecondcoming Mon 05-Oct-09 13:34:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyGlencoraPalliser Mon 05-Oct-09 13:39:34

I have a golden rule with sulkers, of whom I know many. Ignore the sulking. Carry on smiling cheerfully and pretend not to notice. Let them snap out of it in their own time, but never, never reward the behaviour by reacting to it.
As regards the party, I would have felt a bit bad too, but you were perfectly justified in not inviting her in the circs. And as she was invited to lunch the next day she surely shouldn't have been put out.
OP YANBU at all. Smile and say nothing.

JustAnotherManicMummy Mon 05-Oct-09 13:40:26

Don't understand why you are "friends". You don't speak very nicely about her.

When talking about her judgey-ness of other parents the phrase pot and kettle springs to mind hmm

Itsjustafleshwound Mon 05-Oct-09 13:43:09

YANBU - it was your house and your rules - invite who you want to your house - don't be bullied into anything!!

thesecondcoming Mon 05-Oct-09 13:50:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blackduck Mon 05-Oct-09 13:54:35

I'm with LadyG - ignore it. Say many thanks for pressie, and sorry you couldn't stay, but leave it at that. Do not mention the party at all..... You can invite who you want to do's at your house, she either accepts that or she doesn't...

AMumInScotland Mon 05-Oct-09 13:56:45

I don't see that anything has to be "awkward" about the situation - you had a party and didn't invite her. Does she expect to go to every party that people she knows are having? Even when she then moans about how drunk people have got?

If she wants to sulk because of some imagined slight, then ignore her.

JustAnotherManicMummy Mon 05-Oct-09 13:57:03

OP did you mean to post in "relationships" instead of "AIBU"?

If you didn't then your attitude is somewhat unnecessary.

Perhaps I can direct you to the text at the top of the page regarding other posters opinions?

<Climbs on high horse and rides away from the tread>

stillstanding Mon 05-Oct-09 13:57:21

Of course YANBU. You can't invite everyone to everything. People just need to grow up a bit.

I wouldn't mention it to her tonight. There's nothing to discuss ... unless you want to say something to her about ditching you at 11am before a lunch party but I would just leave it.

claw3 Mon 05-Oct-09 14:01:38

Does she invite you to her parties?

NotAgainAndAgain Mon 05-Oct-09 14:03:04

In her place I would feel like her - and you would, too. It is only you who knows why she was not invited - she obviously have not clue. But I would probably do the same - my party, I am deciding who I want to see, especially as there more then one issue - seems to be three-fold. Would it make you feel any better if from now on you'd stop thinking of her as a friend, but rather "one of my friends" or even "&#1040;BC I used to be friends with"? Is it called compatmentalization, may be doing it slowly will get the message. Now I understand that she is getting a very mixed one - when you are one-to one - best buddies, if there is a party - "Oh dear"

DandyLioness Mon 05-Oct-09 14:05:57

Message withdrawn

thesecondcoming Mon 05-Oct-09 14:07:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw3 Mon 05-Oct-09 14:09:22

Im not getting it, you dont like her enough to ask her to party, but you like her enough to invite her to dinner next day, but you dont get on socially?

thedollshouse Mon 05-Oct-09 14:13:15

YANBU to not invite her to your party but I can't fathom why you invited her to sunday lunch. She sounds like a acquaintance rather than a friend, just because you are on the same committee it doesn't mean you have to invite her to your home.

My honest opinion is that you are spending too much time with some people and she is beginning to grate on you. When you see people day in day out it is good to have a break from them in your free time.

She probably felt slighted because she considers herself a friend because you invite her for lunch but is wondering why she wasn't invited to the party. I think you are making things complicated when they don't need to be.

GibbonInARibbon Mon 05-Oct-09 14:16:23

I would mention it. Not in a deep and meaningful 'please take a seat, we need to talk...' way wink more of a breezy 'So sorry you could not stay for lunch on Sunday, was so looking forward to catching up. Say something like you said, her not liking parties, dinner more personal and cosy etc etc.

Most importantly don't feel bad, your decision was not based on malice or spite.

thesecondcoming Mon 05-Oct-09 14:26:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw3 Mon 05-Oct-09 14:34:45

Doesnt seem like you have too much in common other than the voluntary work you both do.

thesecondcoming Mon 05-Oct-09 14:40:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw3 Mon 05-Oct-09 14:45:12

Just put the next piss up party invite in the post for me

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