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AIBU?

to not go to my own graduation?

18 replies

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 04/10/2009 19:17

I graduated from Uni a couple of years ago, did the whole cap and gown thing, had the pictures taken (don't even know where they are now). Since then I've been doing my PGCE part time and have passed, but I needed an extension so my graduation is in January. I feel like I scraped through as I had an MC and had to have the extension so I feel like it's not really an achievment IYSWIM.

I cannot afford the cap and gown and I can't afford the pictures either. Or for myself and DH to take the day off work.

My parents are of the opinion that my sister never had a graduation for her PGCE so I don't need one either.

And I can't see DS, 17 months, sitting through hours of speeches and band-playing.

But then it is a thing that you should do. So I feel silly for not going and like my tutor and work will judge me. But I don't want to.

OP posts:

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TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 04/10/2009 19:18

I will also be about 29 weeks pregnant and have SPD.

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lynniep · 04/10/2009 19:20

Its not worth it imo - not if you feel this way. I never went to my graduation for my masters degree - like you I did the uni thing already and I never felt like I needed a second 'celebration'. I have never regretted it - in fact I've never given it a second thought

vjg13 · 04/10/2009 19:24

Me too, never went to my MSc. graduation and never thought twice about it.

RatherBeOnThePiste · 04/10/2009 19:26

I didn't go to my PGCE graduation - wasn't so keen on going to the first degree either, but went along for the parents you know.

No one will judge you for not going, write to the tutor and give them your thanks but explain unfortunately you cannot make it blah blah. Everyone at a PGCE will have had the opportunity for cap and gown and expensive photos.

Unless of course it is a fabulous hood!! My daughter wants to go to Uni based on the colour of the hood at graduation ( I hope not really ) she wants pink. My Uni hood was as dull as a dull day.

PS What is SPD?!

chachachachacha · 04/10/2009 19:26

Hell no - I didn't even go to my graduation ceremony for my degree - just realised that neither of my parents ever asked when it was

pointydoug · 04/10/2009 19:27

Of course yanbu. If it doesn't matter to you, then it doesn't matter at all.

Petsville · 04/10/2009 19:28

YANBU - I've never turned up to collect anything in person (BA, MA, professional qualification), and don't regret it.

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 04/10/2009 19:29

Oh good, this is what I wanted to hear. I'm just too stressed without another stress slapped on top.

SPD is something that makes it really hard to walk when you're pregnant- your pelvis separates or something like that. All I know is it's agony for my back and groins and I don't think I'll ever sleep again.

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AngelaCarleen · 04/10/2009 19:30

Lots of people didn't turn up to our graduation ceremony. There's no point going if you wont enjoy yourself. YANBU

Niecie · 04/10/2009 19:34

I think there is a difference between graduating with some sort of degree and other qualifications. Not that they aren't worth the effort but that traditionally graduation ceremonies have been for degrees only.

Accountants, solicitors, surveyors or whatever don't have graduation when they get their professional qualifications, or they never used to anyway. Why would a PGCE?

I wouldn't go nor would I even think it is something that I should do. Don't feel bad, just feel proud you have got to the end and qualified. Forget your tutor - you aren't ever going to see them again, are you!?

muddleduck · 04/10/2009 19:34

I didn't go to my second graduation, but on the day that it would have been I organised a lovely meal out with my family - cost less and was much more fun.

btw IMO the circumstances you describe make it MORE of an achievement not LESS

muddleduck · 04/10/2009 19:36

oh and the main reason that i didn't go was that i'd had to sit thought dps ceremony the year before and realised how utterly tedious they usually are for the "spectators"

wicked · 04/10/2009 19:36

I skipped my post grad graduation. I wasn't the only one.

I did buy my gown and hood, and I find it occasionally useful 20+ years on.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 04/10/2009 19:44

Another who didnt go to their masters on here - although it turned out I actually gave birth that day in the end .

I wont go to my PhD one (fingers crossed presuming I get it) either. I only really went to the first one for my parents and believe me I dont need another one of those pictures!

legspinner · 04/10/2009 19:47

I missed my postgrad graduation too (went to a wedding instead!) Honestly, if you don't want to go, and your family isn't pressuring you, don't worry. And agree with muddleduck, your PGCE is more of an achievement seeing all the extra stuff you have had to deal with.

violethill · 04/10/2009 19:51

God, you are def not BU.

I never bothered with the PGCE one either.

Just felt like getting a professional qualification, not something that needed a ceremony

RatherBeOnThePiste · 04/10/2009 20:07

Bloody ow with the SPD

Squishabelle · 04/10/2009 20:21

YANBU Dd 1 graduated this year and never had any intention of going to her own graduation. Neither did a lot of her uni friends. She said its just a money-making thing anyway (getting ripped off by the cost of gown hire etc). Went travelling instead and never regretted it.

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