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to want to string this woman up by the toenails

(15 Posts)
HKT Sun 04-Oct-09 14:00:57

Just been speaking to an old friend - haven't spoken to her for ages, and have just been told about their summer from hell.
It's a long story, but I'll try not to go on!
Right at the beginning of the summer holidays, my friend had another friend over for the day, with her children and some others over - all children of some of her best friends.
To cut a long story short, my friends son -aged 11, was in the same room as the younger boys when they started doing dares, one of the dares was to lick each other willies (disgusting, I know, but nothng sexual in it at all, just nasty little boys) The 11 year old didn't do anyhting, but because he was in the room, one of the mothers had it down as a depraved sex act, and only the 11 year old could have instigated it (in fact he had nothing to do with it).
All summer, they have been seen by police and social workers, until an older social worker (who'd brought up 4 sons of her own) pulled rank and stopped it all - it was quite obvious that it wasn't some case of sexual abuse, just naughty little boys doing the most disgusting thing they can think of, so after nearly three months of strain and stress on the whole family, they are now free of all this.
Now, if I met the woman who rang the police without talking about the situation, and actually ^finding out^ what had happened, and then to contact other of my friends friends to tell them that by standing by her and her son, they were encouraging child abuse in the community, I don't honestly know what I'd do to her angry To knowingly do this to someone who was a friend, when you know the son well enough to know he wasn't some sort of junior paedophile, beggars belief.
I want to kill her (obviously not really, but you know what I mean!), or at least inflict the pain and uncertainty that she inflicted on an innocent family.
I'm also worried, as the mother of DS's, how the hell can I protect my sons from this? Anybody could make an accusation, and as long as the boy is over 10, they will be guilty until proven innocent - as happened to this poor boy.

GypsyMoth Sun 04-Oct-09 14:07:19

well what happened to the boy? what did ss actually do?

similiar happened to us. but this was a malicious neighbour with no proof,and ss saw straight through it.

we were just given a 'keeping safe' booklet to do together. but my son,just turned ten funnily enough,by 2 weeks,was seen in school by the social worker,and saw me at hom. did a report that showed no concerns at all

but keeping safe work was given to advise him on this sort of thing.

thelunar66 Sun 04-Oct-09 14:17:05

God that is shocking. That poor child (the 11 year old). How will he ever get over an accusation like that shock What an early and abrupt end to his childhood angry

HKT Sun 04-Oct-09 14:21:18

In the first week of the holidays, he had to go to the police station, be taken to a cell, and was under caution and interviewed (now I'm well into my 30's, and I'd be terrified, this is an 11 year old!)
No-one could tell my friend whether he (and his sisters) would be taken into care.
The SW rang his primary school and the school he was due to start, to tell them the allegations (which were untrue), they spent the whole summer thinking this would go to court, and he would end up with a criminal record, all over nothing!

pigletmania Sun 04-Oct-09 14:26:22

OMG yes poor ll year old boy and his family, what has this contry come to, kids will do vile things to each other all in innocence no malice or abuse intended. Good thing there was a SW on hand with commonsense. Will the game i used to play at primary school with a boy called I'll show you mine if you show me yours" be deemed as abuse, or doctors and nurses that i used to play in complete innocence with my nephew (who is 2 years younger than me and is now 31 BTW) be banned.

GypsyMoth Sun 04-Oct-09 14:27:57

blimey,thats harsh. taken to the cells!! assume this is in uk?

poor boy,he must be terrified.
so it was all just dropped? surely itas all confidential though,no need for anyone else but the proffesionals to know about it

Goblinchild Sun 04-Oct-09 14:44:21

"I'm also worried, as the mother of DS's, how the hell can I protect my sons from this? Anybody could make an accusation, and as long as the boy is over 10, they will be guilty until proven innocent - as happened to this poor boy.'

I don't know, and it's something I've thought about too.
Perhaps some of the parents who feel that every male is a potential sex offender could offer some words of advice on how to keep our sons safe from their maternal instincts.

HKT Sun 04-Oct-09 14:44:44

It's all over now. It should have been confidential, but the SW in charge was very young and inexperienced, rang the primary school to get an insight on all the boys involved, then rang the secondary school - don't know why, but I imagine the parents will be making a huge fuss about that - talk about starting him off on the wrong foot in a new school hmm

sweetnitanitro Sun 04-Oct-09 14:45:11

They took an 11 year old boy to the cells?! The paedo-hysteria in this country is way way WAY out of hand.

HKT Sun 04-Oct-09 14:45:44

sorry, should have said, yes it's in the UK

ChunkyMonkeysMum Sun 04-Oct-09 17:54:47

This is absolutely ridiculous !!! Your poor friend & her poor poor son.

YANBU....I would want to kill the bitch who did this too !!

pinkthechaffinch Sun 04-Oct-09 18:03:48

Sorry, I'm finding it really hard to believe an 11 year old would be taken alone to a cell.

prettyfly1 Sun 04-Oct-09 18:27:59

I have to be honest if I was the mother of one of these boys I would be a little bit worried - licking each others willies is really vile - but my first steps would be to talk to ALL of the parents and try and get to the bottom of it before calling ss and pointing the finger of blame - how awful!!

HKT Sun 04-Oct-09 18:30:29

Yes, it is really vile, but you wouldn't blame the one child who had nothing to do with it, would you?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 04-Oct-09 19:37:04

Yes, a child would be taken to a cell - why not? They shouldn't be kept there for long (although there were a 14 and 17yo pair that were kept in cells overnight as they couldn't find an appropriate adult recently) but if someone is arrested, they go to the cells.

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